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The Paralegals

We fucked like rabbits until one of said they couldn’t take it anymore. Then we fucked them again just to prove them wrong. And that, friends, is pretty much how the rest of our weekend went.

Monday morning, we meet Samantha in a conference room at the courthouse and the case would come to an end.

Chapter Eight – Abet

“Would you like to tell us what really happened now Lilly?”

All parties concerned were present. There was Samantha, Vince, Lilly, Sanders, Marty and myself. Samantha had requested a settlement meeting to get everyone together.

We had just shown Lilly and her attorney the video evidence and given them a list of the anomalies.

Sanders said quickly, “Lilly, don’t answer that!”

“Damn it Sanders! You told me it was airtight!” Lilly said disgustedly.

Sternly, he ordered, “Shut up Lilly and let me do the talking!”

“But he’s getting away with it!” Lilly insisted.

Sanders ignored his client, turned to Samantha and said, “What are your terms?”

“TERMS?” Lilly yelled.

More loudly this time Sanders ordered, “Either shut up Lilly or find yourself a new attorney!”

“Needless to say, the prenuptial is out.” Samantha replied, ignoring the intrusion.

Sanders nodded and said, “What else?”

“Vince is willing to let her have half of the marital estate. Although, after this little stunt, why is beyond me.” She replied.

Without hesitation, in a formal voice, Sanders said to Lilly, “Mrs. Rossi, as your attorney, I’m advising you to accept their offer and settle this case now!”

“WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?” She yelled at the top of her lungs.

A bailiff opened the door and asked, “Is everything alright in here?”

“Sorry, we’ll try to keep it down.” Sanders replied.

When the door was closed, he continued, “The only thing you had to prove your allegation of adultery was the video evidence. It’s tainted now; without it you have nothing. We both know it contradicts Gloria’s testimony.”

“BUT…” Lilly began.

Sanders cut her off, “No buts. If you don’t settle now and we go back into court, you’re looking at both perjury and evidence tampering charges. Before you try to argue with me, think about this: the judge, whom you’ve seemed to have pissed off somehow, will probably go out of her way to give you as little as possible. Hell, you make more money than Vince does, she might even award him alimony. How would you like to end up having to pay him for the rest of his life?”

I couldn’t help but smile. That was Lilly, making friends everywhere! It seems she’d even managed to turn her own attorney against her.

“I’ll rot in jail first!” Lilly said defiantly.

Fighting back a smile, Sanders replied, “That’s your choice. But you and I both know it won’t come to that, don’t we? So, like I said, stop dragging this out and take the deal!”

Lilly squirmed like a woman on a hot seat and then said meekly…

“Alright damn it! Make it happen.”

Well, Samantha produced the papers, having prepared them ahead of time. They were signed, notarized and just like that it was all over. Except for the part where Lilly called Vince a ‘lying cheating bastard’ and stomped out of the room, everything went smoothly and we all went home.

But one thing nagged at me. What happened in those last few missing minutes and why did someone go out of the way to try and delete the cell-phone from the nightstand?

We’d have to wait a little over a month for everything to be made clear to us. It was the day Vince came by the office to pick up his copy of the finalized divorce decree.

Marty and I happened to be in the lobby saying goodbye to a client when Vince arrived. It was the end of the day. The receptionist had already gone home and other than Samantha, we were the only once in the building.

“Hey buddy, can I ask you something?” Vince said to Marty.

Marty replied, “Sure Vince, what do can I do for you?”

When Vince looked over at me nervously, Marty said reassuringly, “Don’t worry about Rachael, I trust her with my life.”

“Alright then, I was just wondering if I can get a copy of those videos Lilly made of Gloria and I together?”

It was so quiet you would have sworn somebody farted.

I think Marty and I were both in shock. After a second he asked, “What the devil do you want them for Vince? I thought that night was too traumatic for you to relive?”

“Traumatic? Are you kidding me? You didn’t really fall for all that stuff did you?” Vince paused, waiting for an answer. I guess the expression on our faces said it all. He went on. “Come on buddy, you’ve seen them. Admit it; they’re the hottest things you’ve ever seen. Gloria and I want to add them to our collection!”

Marty and I both yelled it at the same time, “YOUR WHAT?”

Then Marty asked, “Are you telling us you and Gloria were actually having an affair?”

“Of course we were, Samantha knew all about it. Didn’t she tell you?”

We both stood there jaws open.

“Oh, I though you knew. Then I guess she didn’t tell you that it was her idea to edit the videos either?” He paused again. “I guess I better explain. You see, Lilly knew about Gloria and me for years. But then, I knew about her little side flings too.”

Flabbergasted, Marty asked, “Wait a minute, you knew she was sleeping around on you? How long’s that been going on?”

“I’ve always known, just like Lilly has always known about mine.”

I thought I was beginning to understand. From the look on Marty’s face, I could tell he was clueless. Then Vince explained it to him…

“Don’t you get it? We’re swingers, all three of us, Lilly, Gloria and myself.”

When he said that, the first thing that came to my mind was the prenuptial agreement, “When did that start?”

“Oh, about two years after we were married. We got invited to a party by a few friends of ours and decided to try it out. We’ve been doing it ever since.”

Well, just when I thought things couldn’t get any stranger!

Then a question occurred to me, “What went wrong?”

“Lilly met someone else and got greedy and decided she wanted everything. That’s when she decided to set up the cameras in my bedroom so she could ‘catch us in the act’. She’d knew Gloria was coming over that night. What you didn’t see was the three-way we all had before Lilly left that afternoon for her weekend camping trip.

You know, Lilly might even have gotten away with it too if I hadn’t gotten a call warning me about them.”

I finally spoke, “That explains the cell-phone on the nightstand. So, who called you?”

“Maybe you better talk to Samantha about this.” Vince replied mysteriously.

It was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything more on the subject so I went into my office, quickly found his file and pulled the packet containing the videos out of them. We had already made copies so I knew we could spare them.

As soon as he left, Marty and I went straight to Samantha’s office.

“It’s all true, every word of it!” Samantha said insistently when Marty and I confronted her.

Outraged, Marty demanded, “You knew about it and didn’t tell us? Why did you take the case? Hell, for that matter, why did you tell him to tamper with the videos.”

“Let me clear a few things up for you. First, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you two implicated if anything went wrong. Secondly, I took the case as a personal favor. And lastly, I didn’t tell him to tamper with the videos, I tampered with the videos!”

He asked, “What about that scene in the courtroom over the videos?”

“Oh that? That was theater to convince everyone that we’d been blindsided.”

Then Marty asked a good question, “Wait a minute! Gloria had already admitted to the affair. How were you going to handle that?”

“She was going to recant on cross examination. Gloria was prepared to say that Lilly knew of her feelings for Vince and told her it was the only way he would be free. In short, Gloria was going to say on the stand that Lilly put her up to it.”

I said out loud, “That’s risky. She must really love him to risk going to jail for perjury like that.”

“She does; but, it would never have gotten that far.”

One question had been nagging me so I asked her, “Samantha, who called Vince and tipped him off?”

“If I tell you, you have to swear to me that you’ll never tell anyone else. If word got out, it would, not could, destroy a lot of people. Can you do that?” She asked seriously.

Marty replied, “Don’t you know you can trust us by now?”

“Yes, I suppose I do. All right, it was Judge Hastings.”

I wasn’t as surprised as Marty was. I could tell because he said, “Judge Hastings? How did the Judge know that Lilly was trying to set up Vince?” Then, as if a light bulb went off in his head he asked, “You’re not telling me the Judge and Lilly are lovers. I thought they hated each other.”

I commented, “I guess Lilly wasn’t going camping after all that weekend.”

“That right Rachael. And to answer your question Marty, it wasn’t always that way. That was the night the Judge and Lilly broke up.” She paused, “Didn’t you ever wonder what caused the rift between them? I’m one of the few that actually know what it was. You see, that night, Lilly told the Judge what she was planning to do. It infuriated the Judge to no end. It offended the Judge’s sense of integrity. So much so, in fact, that she called Vince and told him what Lilly was planning. She even told him to come see me for representation. As to why I did what I did? What else could I do? Vince was about to be screwed and there was nothing I could legally do about it without ruining a several people’s lives in the process. I went over there, copied the videos to my laptop, edited them and copied them back. Luckily, I had plenty of time to so. I knew you’d find the anomalies and realized they’d been tampered with. Good job by the way.”

I asked, “What if we hadn’t?”

“Then the three of us would have gone over them together and one by one I’d start pointing them out to you. Either way, our side would have discovered them and the evidence would be discredited.” She replied.

A question occurred to me, “Why did the Judge give Vince your name? What’s your relationship with her?”

“I have the same kind of relationship with her that Vince, Lilly, and Gloria have.”

I figured as much. It was news to Marty who said, “Oh! I see.”

“By the way, you did take that video of you two together out of the package before you gave it to him didn’t you?”

Marty and I looked at each other. We both had one of those ‘Oh Shit!’ looks on our faces.

I said to Samantha, “You’re not mad?”

“Hell no! Why would I be mad? If anything, I’m glad to see you two finally get together. I was getting tired of watching the two of you walking around her making goo-goo eyes at each other as you both waited for the other to make the first move. But that still doesn’t answer my question about the video.”

The silence told her everything.

“Don’t you think you better call Vince and tell him you made a mistake?” She prompted.

But before she had finished, Marty had Vince on the speakerphone.

“Hey Buddy, what can I do for you?” Vince answered.

Marty said casually, “Rachael accidentally put the videos from another case file in with yours by mistake. Any chance you can bring them back today? We’ll keep the office open until you get here.”

“Tell Rachael if she wants it back she can come by my apartment and pick them up. While you’re at it, tell her to wear that sports bra and boy shorts she had on when she does.” Vince replied.

Marty muttered under his breath, “Damn car DVD players!” And then he said more loudly, “Hey asshole, don’t you know that it’s not safe to drive while distracted.”

“At least I have both hands on the wheel. Although I’m tempted to…” Vince said and laughed.

I interrupted, “Fuck you Vince!”

“Anytime honey, anytime at all.” And then he added, “That Spanish-fly is so power shit isn’t it?”

I said flatly, “No comment.”

“That’s alright, I understand. You’re not the only one it leaves speechless. It has the same effect on Lilly and Gloria too.”

After my experience, I knew that what Vince had said was more truth than taunt.

“Is Samantha still there?” Vince asked.

I answered, “She’s standing right here. We’re on the speaker phone.”

“Great! I’m having a party this weekend. Why don’t you all show up? We’ll have some fun together.”

There was a long pause during which nothing was said.

Samantha was the first to speak, “I’ll call you later and get the details.”

“That’ll be fine.’ said Vince and then added, “Rachael, you and Marty don’t have to decide now. Just let me know by this Friday.”

Then the phone went dead.

It was good thing I made a copy. We never did get back the video Marty and I made.’

Prologue

Since the case, Marty and I have become lovers. We love each other and live together now.

On the professional side, we’re both about to pass the bar. When we do, Samantha says we can become full partners in the firm.

The last I heard from Lilly she had met a new girlfriend. I found out later from Marty, who found out from Vince, that swinging was Lilly’s idea in the first place. So I guess it was no surprise when Rachael told me that Lilly had also found another man. Nor was it a surprise when she told me that the three of them, Lilly, her girlfriend and new boyfriend were all living together.

Marty and I are thinking he might just be our first client. Let’s hope the poor fool isn’t stupid enough to sign a prenuptial agreement! On the other hand, if he does, Marty and I might get a chance to learn a few new tricks. I hear their doing wonderful things with Velcro these days!

The End