"OK let me take a stab at explaining it. You are taking it on yourself to assume that the "preferences" your members have set in their profiles are "absolutes". They aren't. For just one example, there are many reasons people close their profile to single men. In many cases it's because they get tired of single men not reading a preference such as "Single men: If we want you we will find you" and/or are really sensitive to unwanted single men propositioning them. In our case (my GF and I on our couples profile) we decided to live with the occasional unwanted approaches and left our profile open to single men.

I'm not a fan of over moderating the forums. But moderating what you THINK other people's preferences mean is definitely out of your wheelouse.

Mostly it destroys an interesting part of the site. I would be very interested to know what the volume of hot dates posted were before and after that change. I think you could probably figure that out. My guess is, it's way down. I can tell you quite easily what the number of correspondences my partner and I have had with others through hot dates has been since you made tha change. Zero. Unity. Nada."

Over the years, we have made small tweeks to the Hot Dates page (mostly bug fixes) as I recall. I am not sure what change you are talking about? What was changed and do you remember when it was changed?

I am fully aware that some people's preferences are not set in stone. But other people's preferences are very well defined and set by them. So I guess my question is, how would you solve this Currentrider? If SLS ignores the Hot Date poster's preferences, those people (the ones where it is set in stone) will be upset.

As it is right now, if someone MIGHT be interested in single males, they can just enable that preference when they create thier Hot Date. And they may very well have to weed out a whole bunch of clueless single males and rude males.

I'm using single males as an example because this problem almost always boils down to "the single male" problem.