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Mike Bates Way (from Master Bates Swing Diary)

When I got back to Minnesota, I tried to find something like Ann’s “Saturday Socials”. I went to several websites, all which were no help. Some folks from Texas wrote me and suggested that I subscribe to several adult groups within Yahoo Groups, and I did that. Nothing still – there were people who wanted to meet me but they did not know anything about a “social” or “sex party”. Maybe they were being coy.

So, I created my own. I sat at a restaurant and wrote down the rules I would go by in inviting anyone to participate:

First, anyone above a certain age can participate. There would be no upper limit. After fucking some of the women at Ann’s who are well into their 50s, 60s and even 70s, there would not need to have an upper limit. It was the younger limit that I needed to concern myself with.

I did research into the state laws dealing with sex crimes in Minnesota and Wisconsin since the Twin Cities are close to Wisconsin. I acquainted myself with those crimes dealing with prostitution, with “pandering” and with “sexual deviancy”. If I’m going to do this, I need to know what the pitfalls are if I screw up and do something stupid - or if someone came to one of my events and did something stupid.

The age of consent in Minnesota is 17. The age of consent in Wisconsin is 16. In Iowa, it is also 16 years old.

My bisexual step-daughter called me and we talked for a while. I steered it over to what I “was thinking about doing…”

“Can I come and play too, Dad? I think that some of the guys would REALLY like me…and I would love to meet some older women too…”

“In one word – NO, Darla…” I told her. I can hear the disappointment in her voice when she responded “Please…”

“I love you as a child, Darla even though you’re well over a child’s age. But I can’t be fucking someone while my own child is getting it on with someone in the same room. You’re 25 now…and I can’t tell you what to do or how to do it…but I really don’t want anyone your age or younger to show up….”

“A real adult party, huh?” Darla answered. “Okay…I can deal with that…at least you consider me an adult ” she added, “even if you’re not really my Dad.”

Darla provided the bottom-lined age for my Socials – 25 years old.

She – nor any other child of mine, adopted or “natural” – has ever attended anything I hosted or went to. My children know full well what kinds of adult parties Mike Bates puts on and participates in…and they all caution me to be careful and have fun. The same advice I gave them when they would go off and participate in parties with their friends.

The other rules make common sense. Condoms for everything except oral sex. Low chances of catching things when you’ve got someone’s pussy or dick in your mouth; and you’re a lot pickier about what things you put into your mouth or stick your tongue out for. No male on male sex – I would later provide the means for those bisexuals or homosexuals to attend an event hosted by a bisexual male friend of mine while just putting up the money for the hotel suite. I don’t do “gay sex” however. I love pussy way too much.

Once you’re finished for the evening, go home. Don’t hang out in the lobby expecting to get some pussy on the way home; stalking the women who attend; or come back wanting to have more. You can stick around and watch and socialize, but once you’ve done for the evening, you’re done.

No liquor. No drugs. None of those “poppers things” I’ve heard about. People get fucking stupid when they engage in those things…and most of the time either they can’t control themselves or end up getting sick. No. By not having to deal with people who are drunk or high, I reduce the chances of someone calling the police or having to call a spouse or friend who didn’t know that they were at a “swing party” to come to get them and take them home. I tell a story about going to one party and a wild-assed woman was sucking my dick something fierce and the next thing I know she’s was throwing up all over my dick, my legs, my belly and on the floor. After I cleaned up, and she went home, nobody wanted to TOUCH my dick, let along fuck it. I don’t blame them, so I went home also. That taught me a lesson.

If women are on their period or are sick, even with the cold, they need to stay the hell away from my events. Because I work with the public, I cannot really afford to be catching someone’s cold or flu because I wanted to fuck or suck them. Most people would feel the same way if I was sick and wanting to flit around them, trying to get into their pants. No, sex isn’t worth getting sick over. The same thing applies to guys with the seasonal cold and flu shit.

Above everything else, “No means NO THANKS”, not “pester me until I give in”. I’ve been to too many other events over time whereby there’s a group of guys who will literally wear a woman’s defenses down, get whatever it is they want and leave. The woman feel used, abused and hurt because all they wanted was a piece of ass instead of actually warming up and getting to know someone before you ask “can I fuck you please?”

One guy asked in a forum “Okay, if I can’t run around after the women at a party, how do I get them to fuck me?” I wrote back and told him, “Remember high school? Did you get pussy in high school?” He wrote back and said, “no, I wasn’t as lucky as you and some others were…”

“How do you know how “lucky” I was?” I wrote back. “Women – females – want to know that you’re after their pussy or ass, sure…but they want you to be a bit respectful in asking for it. Engage them in a conversation, that’s the first way you’ll get them to open their legs. Get them talking about themselves, get them talking about their family, get them talking about something else OTHER THAN sex. You’ll hit on a common thing…or not, in which it’s just not your night or day or whatever. Switch it to sex and ask her what things she’s into or not, and let it go from there… She’ll appreciate that you didn’t come right out and say “Let’s fuck!” and you will find a new friend, which is what swinging really is all about. You may not fuck or eat her pussy THAT TIME…but believe me, she’ll remember you the NEXT TIME and it’ll be easier for her to interact with you….and you to interact with her and get her out of that skirt and skimpy top and on top of your hard dick or your face!

No means “not with you right now. I may change my mind depending on what else is going on or if I see you’re “okay” or someone I want to “try out”. “ Let it go…there are other women there who can’t wait to fuck your brains out…with the proper precautions of course (and if they are “attached”, asking their partner for permission).

Come ready to meet EVERYONE there…there are going to be people there you won’t play with. That’s life. There are others you can’t wait to get out of your clothing and in between their legs with. That’s life too. Come dressed and smelling like you are ready to meet people…if you need to change clothes or take a shower, let me or the organizer know and do so quickly and without a lot of “attention”. This means you may have to show up earlier than the time that the event starts…or that you bypass my event for another one when you’re more appropriately ready to meet people.

I limit my events depending on the size of the hotel room or suite. A typical room in a good sized hotel will have two queen-sized beds…four people can play on a bed at a time. Times it by two, and you have eight people. Not everyone will be playing however at any given time, so I add two more people if they have a couch in the room and four more if they have an easy chair. So a typical hotel room for one of my events can accommodate 12 people. If I am lucky to get adjoining rooms, I can double the number of people – 24. I get non-smoking rooms as a default – they are cleaner, better maintained, and people leave with only the smell of sex and not smoke (important for those going home to their honey and not able to take a shower beforehand).

So with those simple rules down pat, I started to host my own events. I chose one other element – not to charge ANYTHING for them. I have two important reasons why I do not.

The first reason is that if I took money in, I would be “pandering”. It’s a high form of misdemeanor but one which gets your name in the papers. In Wisconsin, it may or may not get your name on the sexual offender roster, which considerably reduces your ability to get or keep a job. By coming to a party and paying for stuff, there’s an implication that one is “paying for sex”. Some people get offended by that – police departments consider it a form of “trafficking”.

Second, by taking money, one has to give some sort of value for that money. Since we’re not paying for sex, there has to be something of worthwhile which accounts for the money. People have parties all of the time whereby everyone pays $20 and there’s about $20 worth of drinks and food in an $80 or $100 hotel room. There’s 12 of us…so that comes to close to $240 for the event. If the actual outlay of the event comes to something around $150, say…where does the other close to $100 go? See…

So my events are PRIVATE ADULT EVENTS which I invite my FRIENDS to attend for FREE. I cannot ask you for a donation, “suggested amount” or “gate fee”. I CAN, however, put out a container and inform everyone present that the “hotel room is X amount and the cost of water and soft drinks is Y amount.” Those willing to offset those costs can place whatever they choose into the container on their way OUT the door. It has worked well for me, I have never had an issue with someone complaining that “they didn’t get their money’s worth” or some other bullshit like that, and I typically take a $40 - $60 loss each time I do one of these events. It’s a part of the deal I have with myself…I have fun and I end up paying for my fun.

The first set of Mike Bates’ parties, I had people who put on parties in town to come visit – just to see what we do. They always come around to the question of money…. “How much money do you take in?”, “Do you pay the women to come to fuck?”, “Is the hotel “comping you” for the additional business?”

I break even but most of the time I take a loss, I tell them, because I don’t charge anything for them to come fuck,” I tell them. “Why should I charge my friends?”

When they ask “are the women pros or do you pay them something?” I smile and tell them, “these women come here because they know I put on a relatively safe event, with no drama and a lot of fucking and sucking going on… I don’t need to pay them and those few who ask for some money to go home on or whatever; they don’t attend because they’re not getting any of it from me or anyone participating. I’m not running a whorehouse or something…and this is free…”

And to answer the hotel question, “if the hotel knows that we’re doing a sex party here, I cancel it before the event happens…and we go to another hotel and play there. All they know is that someone paid for a room, I invite my friends to come over, we engage in a little conversation, some sex play, and everyone goes home. No drinking, no running wild naked in the hallways, no booze, and no drugs.”

“You’ll never make any money…” they would tell me as they leave.

“Not in it for the money…I’m in it for the sex and the fun of meeting and being around people who love sex as much or more than I do…”

“Good luck then…” they say as they leave.

“Thanks!”

I’ve been safely doing these things my way for well over 15 years now.