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My Totally Un-Hot Neighbor Blows Me

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My wife Elaine and I had been divorced for about a year when one day her friend up the road called me. She is not attractive at all. She is late-fifties, about 5’3, and I am guesstimating around 160 lbs.

My wife had known her since childhood as she was a close friend of her mother. Back when my wife and I were dating and we would go over there to visit she would always tell me that if “Mabel” made a move on me to let her know so she could handle things accordingly.

Mabel lived alone at that time. She had never been married, but according to my then girlfriend, she was pretty much what you would call a whore. Had involvements with many men, married and unmarried.

Once, when we were over at Mabel’s house, she had rubbed my junk as I moved past her in the kitchen. She was pretty tipsy at the time and I just let it go, and never mentioned it to my wife.

My wife used to tell me that Mabel’s gravelly voice was from years of cigarette smoking, and, from years of swallowing.

She had a good heart and would do anything to help a friend in need, but just had that promiscuous side to her.

As the years went by, I had little dealings with her although my wife and her remained friends the whole time. She was just one of my wife’s friends that I did not see that much. Nothing against her, that was just the way it worked out.

After my wife and I split when we were 43, Mabel was one of those people that I never really thought about anymore. Her voice was never on the answering machine again. Another acquaintance lost through the divorce.

Then on Wednesday of last week the phone rings about 9:30 a.m. I am a night shifter and had been asleep for about an hour. The phone ringing is just one of the things that you hear, but you learn to selectively block out when you sleep during the day. On this particular day, however, I was not sleeping very heavily and opened my eyes and glanced at the name showing on the caller ID. It was Mabel.

Since I had not spoken to her in so long I decided to answer the phone. I thought in the back of my mind that there may be something wrong and possibly she needed my help.

When I answered on the third ring and said “hello” she replied with a cheerful “good morning.”

She then said, “I am sorry to bother you. Are you still on the third shift?”

“Yes,” I said. “But, it is no problem. I was tossing and turning anyway.”

“I know that this seems silly, but Elaine and I used to really exploit this close neighbor thing all the time when she was there. But, do you have four eggs I could borrow?”

“Sure, it is no problem at all. I just bought a fresh dozen at the grocery store yesterday,” I yawned. “Do you need me to bring them to you?”

“No, no. I will come get them. No way I would wake you up, ask to borrow something, and then make you deliver it!” She laughed, “I am not that big of a pain in the ass!”

I laughed and said, “Well, you better come on and get them before I doze off because if I fall asleep and you wake me again I may have to put you in the pain in the ass category!”

She chuckled and said, “I will be there in three minutes. Don’t fall asleep!”

So I hung up the phone and threw back the covers. I was wearing just a pair of briefs, my normal sleeping attire. I got up, and headed to the closet. I grabbed up a cutoff pair of denim shorts and headed downstairs.

I forgot to mention that I still look pretty decent for 44 years old. I am 6’1, 245 lbs., brown hair (which I keep cut in skull cap style), brown eyes behind rectangular glasses, have a long goatee that is about 85 percent gray, and am pretty muscular. I work out five days a week, trying to keep myself in good shape. I have tattoos on both arms and on my back, and usually have a decent tan.

Since my wife left over a year ago, I have had sexual encounters with two different women. To tell the truth, I have been a bit gun shy about dating again. The divorce was pretty rough emotionally and I just have not been very motivated when it comes to chasing the ladies.

The doorbell rings and I open the door. Mabel is in a green bathrobe and red fuzzy bedroom slippers. Not exactly sex on a stick if you know what I mean.

I notice that her eyes open wide and she looks me up and down as I stand in front of her in just my cutoff shorts.

“Well,” she says. “You are looking good these days. As usual.”

She makes no bones about her flirting. She walks past me into the house before I can say “come on in”.

“The house looks good. I was hoping that you were not having any problems keeping it up since Elaine moved out.”

“Thanks”, I say. “I try to keep the place clean. Not too difficult with just me here.”

I again notice her looking me up and down as I move past her, heading to the kitchen.

I am now in front of her and can feel her eyes on my ass as I make it to the refrigerator and open the door.

“You did say four eggs” right?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says. “Four eggs will do me just fine.”

I reach up to grab the dozen box from the upper shelf when she says, “I am not in a hurry for them necessarily though,” she purrs with her rough smoker’s voice.

“Really? I thought you needed them right now. I figured you were right in the middle of cooking something.”

‘Oh, it can wait”, she says as she moves toward me. “I think I could cook something up right here.”

And she grabs my crotch.

“Whoa!” I say laughing. “What are you up to?”

Like I don’t know.

“I figure I have been loyal to Elaine long enough,” she says. “I have wanted to suck your dick for about twenty years.”

Now, she is not attractive at all. But having a woman say that she has wanted to suck your dick for twenty years while she is squeezing it through your shorts will start to give you a hard on. It did me anyway.

She then moved forward some more and let her tongue flick across my right nipple and then she started kissing and sucking on it.

I leaned back against the bar and was just enjoying the feeling. She was quite an experienced lady as I had been told and was more than a little curious.

She undid the button on my shorts and pulled the zipper down. She gave them a tug and I let them fall down to the floor. She then immediately grabbed at the waistband of my briefs and pulled them down after working them over my erection.

Without missing a beat she slid down to her knees and took my dick into her mouth. The warm wetness was a welcome sensation to me. It had been over four months since I had last received a blowjob and I quickly found myself totally enjoying my experience with my un-hot neighbor.

When I looked down I saw that she had her eyes closed and her bathrobe had fallen open. Two big, flat boobs laid down over a few rolls of fat over a pot belly greeted my eyes. I turned my head back toward the ceiling and tried desperately to get that image which was now seared into my brain out of my mind before I lost my hard on. I really wanted to get a nut.

She must have felt me starting to go soft because she took my left hand while she kept up her oral work and placed it on the top of her head. At first I stroked her hair but in just a few minutes I had changed to having a grip of a tuft of hair and was directing her head up and down as her slurping got louder. The more aggressive I got, the more she started to moan. She obviously liked it.

All the while I kept my head straight and my eyes closed. I could feel myself closing in on that familiar feeling. I could not help myself and looked down again. She was looking up at me and I noticed her right hand was down low on her body.

As her big, flat boobs, gyrated back and forth, I could see that her hand was working itself back and forth in a big, hairy bush. In what could only be described as a 1970’s-style, wild wooly bush.

I am a fan of smooth, slick, shaven. Petite, tanned, lean midriffs with bellybutton rings. Maybe a “tramp-stamp” on the back. This was about as close to a 180 separation from what I am attracted to as I could get.

But hey, she was giving me some monster head.

Working to keep my hard on again after seeing that she had sasquatch in a headlock I grabbed the rear of her head and started really “face-fucking” her.

“Uh-huhhhh,” she moaned her approval.

With my eyes shut I concentrated on the feeling and not the visual. Her tongue dragged across my head and her slurping sounds echoed off the walls of my house.

Without even asking if she did, because I already knew the answer, I started shooting my load into her mouth.

I released her head and just let her take over as I felt my toes want to curl under. Sucking me dry, I look down to her again.

She leans back, arching her back, while staying in her kneeling stance. Opens her mouth, gargles my jizz, and gulps.

Damn. That was just nasty.

I let her do it two more times before Saturday.

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