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Passive-Aggressive Dom vs Dom

"I'm not wearing panties," she said with a devilish grin.

"How confusing," I thought. Here we were, at "Arlo's," one of "our places" -- an East Harlem cool-chic-dive bar with cool bartenders, fascinating drinks, and a diverse and interesting crowd.

"How confusing," because the last time we were there together, we spoke in our usual drunken state about the anatomy of our breakup, which was already 10 months in the past. And she explained all of the things I didn't know about the past. Her affair with a close family associate that had, in fact, overlapped with ours. It was new news that called 2 years of what I had thought of as true love into question.

"How confusing," because the last time we were there together, she talked about her new journey with a highly experienced Dom/Top who had introduced her to the might of the cane, the flog, the paddle, and the open hand, among others. She was on a new journey. And while I accepted that, I could not shake the image of her taking the cane for at least a few days.

"How confusing," because just 20 minutes ago she talked about how we were more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend. "How confusing," because she had just finished explaining how her Dom demands that she forego all orgasm -- with or without him. That he is Poly but she must be only with him ... and his harem. I did know she knew I understood. "I guess the reason that you'll forego orgasm is to get the full experience? If you're going to do it, you should go all out, right?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes," she said. "You really get me. We're like brother and sister." I stopped myself from saying, "incest is best," which would have been slightly prescient.

So, as she sat down after coming back from the bathroom, she leaned in to kiss, and we kissed as wonderfully as ever. And I knew this is exactly what I promised I wouldn't let happen, yet it felt so good. To feel her adoration that way. I enjoyed this off an on for a while, with somehow nobody paying much attention to us Mid-40's minx's mashing like teenagers with no place to go. In fact, we really had no place to go.

And now I knew why she had gone to the restroom. "I'm not wearing panties," she said with a devilish grin.

"How confusing," I thought. She just told me that she is all in (with reservations) with her Dom. And it hit me, she's acting out on him. He says "no orgasms for you," ... I'll show him. And for the next few minutes, we tried to convince ourselves that we were truly in the moment. Feeling what we felt and wanted from each other. When in fact, we were both using each other to get at the same person. While also, neither of us realized that in the moment. But it was more than true.

She could have gone home and masturbated, but that could not have had the impact, if only in her own mind, of taking an orgasm from the man who her Dom, before they even met, told her she could no longer submit to. And for me? How perfect to have that role. Know that I'm going to give her what she's not allowed to have. With him. It would be my own secret, but I'd be delivering. And while in the moment I wasn't aware, not long after I realized I was just a prop in her sub-conscious episode of acting out. I knew that she was not aware. She'd never let herself believe that.

I reached under her skirt from behind, the two of us sitting next to each other, shifted her a bit and fingered her from behind and underneath. "My god her pussy is so wonderful," I thought. And when an atheist thinks, "my god" about anything, it's instinctual. She leaned into me, approaching orgasm quickly as ever.... I once made her cum from oral in under 2 minutes... she asked me to stop, out of embarrassment, not for any lack of desire. But she was so close, so I pulled her face and mouth into my neck so she couldn't be heard and brought her home... feeling her squirt on the wooden bench.

We left soon after. Soon after I cleaned the bench with more than just a few napkins. I felt so wonderful. Earlier she had explained to me our entire timeline, the one with the overlapping affairs and the long breakup, in a way that made me feel special and adored. And she sealed it with a kiss. Not only one between us, but one where I could have the mild satisfaction that I had been part of her acting out on him.

I wonder what he would do if he knew?