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The Punishment

Sitting in the loneliness that was now her world, Tina cried. Overwhelmed, all she could do lately was sit in the large, faded blue, overstuffed chair that had become her emotional lifeline and sob. She remembered the day her life spiraled out of control as if it were yesterday. Tina had made a humongous mistake breaching the trust between a Dom and his sub. As she faced her DOM that awful day, she feared for the worst possible punishment he would give her. He had whipped her in the past sometimes so severely that it left scars. To her horror this time, he just looked at her with such a look of disappointment and rage, clenched his fists, told her not to move, turned his back on her, and slowly walked away. As the minutes turned into hours, Tina finally realized she was on the verge of losing everything she had worked for. As she waited, she began to panic and fear the worst. Her mind raced from one thought to another without settling on anything concrete. What if he didn?t come back? What would she do? How could she go on? Why? Why?

Trying to calm her fears, she focused on the memories of how she met him. Tina, in the midst of a bitter divorce, had gone for a long walk to clear her mind that hot, muggy summer day. So lost in thought, she walked for hours not caring where her feet took her. It wasn?t until her stomach started growling late that evening she discovered she had walked the day away and was hopelessly lost.

Working in his yard that evening, John noticed a distracted, troubled woman in the distance getting closer. Being a good judge of character, his first thought was car trouble, but he pushed that out of his mind and decided to wait to see if she needed help. After she reached him, a simple, insightful conversation in his yard changed her life that night.

Making a leap of faith with John, Tina began to train as a sub. Time and time again, her body and mind was pushed to some of the most excruciating limits. Each and every barrier she had was tested and pushed aside. He had been so patient and kind while she learned. Unfortunately for her, she had this streak of stubbornness in her that would rise to the surface like an erupting volcano. The first time she dealt with his punishment, the lesson she was meant to learn failed miserably. The second time she got whipped for the same infraction, it hit home with a bang. Tina knew now what it meant to have someone who really cared enough to whip her. That had been her problem even as a child. No one in her life had ever cared that much. She had been allowed to do almost anything she pleased with just a slap on the hand or a disapproving look. Having a light bulb moment, Tina worked so hard after that in her desire to please John, her DOM. She found herself squashing any urges of rebellion as she began putting him first in her life. Finally getting her priorities set right, Tina managed to learn so much under his tutelage. Before long, the days turned into months and then years. When he wanted her to do something new, she didn?t question it any more. Tina remembered letting him know so many times that she trusted him to protect her, and knew he would not let her down.

Why she acted up and disappointed her Dom this time, she couldn?t fathom. What had possessed her? Her life had been wonderful until now. She was happier than she had ever been. Tina racked her brain that day standing alone in that room after he walked away. It would serve her right if he never came back. The only problem was ?how could she go on if he didn?t return?? He had been her emotional rock and anchor during her awful divorce and roller coaster recovery days as she got back on her feet.

That next morning she learned her fate. She was sent packing several states away and told to ponder the consequences of her actions. When her Dom sent her away as punishment, she hoped he would change his mind after a week and allow her to return to the safety of his care. Only now, it was dragging on into the fifth week of her being hundreds of miles away. As she cried herself to sleep every night, her racking sobs seeped into every corner of the boarding house where she found herself that first night.

Night after night, the residents could hear her as she cried. When daylight came, they felt hopelessly lost as to how to comfort the sad woman in room 142 down the hall. Because she kept to herself most of the time, rumors flew around the boarding house and over the small town like the first winter?s blast of cold air. Still everyone she met felt compassion for the stranger in a small town.

Every day that passed, Tina hoped for a word of reprieve. Oh, how she wanted to go home. Each morning when she got up, the first thing she did was to check her email and then send him a message. This she did without fail. Then during the day her eyes were always glancing at the blank monitor as her mind wondered what he might be doing, what he was thinking, and who he might be training now. Was he with another sub? Had she lost him to another woman? Had someone else taken her place? The questions tormented her waking and sleeping hours. Even though no word came from him, she was afraid of giving up hope. In her mind, if she gave up that hope, there would be no reason to go on.

Tina knew it had to be the trust issue that caused her downfall. Once she came to recognize that as the main reason for her stupidity, she promised herself to win his trust all over again. Looking back, Tina saw that as the reason for her failed marriage, the loss of her grown children in her life, and even the past relationships that had come about in unexpected times.

During that third month of banishment, Tina forced herself to go for walks around town, to sit on the porch with the other residents, and to even eat in the dining hall with the other guests. It wasn?t long before the moments of trivial gossip and interaction had done more for her mental attitude then all the moping ever did she realized. That constant moping had been of no help with her situation. One afternoon while out for a walk she found herself humming. ?What was different?? she asked herself. She still had not heard from DOM John. The emails remained unanswered on a daily basis. Tina just knew something had changed in her life to give her a new outlook on life.

Early that next morning, Tina got on the pc with a renewed purpose. She would prove to her Dom that she was sorry for her transgression. If she had to say it every day, she would. She would apologize with every being of her mind, body, and soul. Nothing would be said to him that was not about being sorry for her stupidity. All that mattered was being allowed back in his world. Every fiber of her being missed him. Every move she made while awake, reminded of the times she was serving him. While asleep, she saw his face, heard his words, and could watch herself serving the way he liked.

As the month went by, Tina took long walks, made life long friends, and started a journal as she contemplated on her life with and without DOM John. What she did not see was that others noticed a big change in her. She seemed more at peace with all around her. They no longer heard her deep, racking sobs at night. When she was not in her room, her smiles would light up any room she entered. Her smiles and laughter were infectious for even the biggest grouch.

Going into the fifth month, Tina noticed that time has passed much faster now that her outlook was changed. She hadn?t heard from John yet, but her determination never faltered. Every day she told him she was sorry, and every night she wrote in her journal about him and how important he was to her. At night she slept and dreamed about the life she led with him. She no longer feared the worst. What was to come was to be regardless of the outcome.

Time has passed so fast now, that she almost forgot his birthday and their anniversary. That morning sitting down at the computer, Tina was overwhelmed to see an email from him. For a second, the shock of seeing his name almost kept her from reading it. Her fears of abandonment and being released rushed into focus. She feared that it was a good bye letter. So she took a few deep, relaxing breaths and steeled her spine in order to open and read what he had to say. To her surprise, the letter simply said ?Have you learned your lesson yet?? She must have read it a hundred times before it sunk in. With a big sigh of relief and a lot of tears, she knew he still wanted her as his sub, and was willing to take her back. Her probation period wouldn?t matter as long as he was still her DOM. She would work harder than she ever thought possible now to prove how sorry she was and would never be that stupid again. Tina knew that this was the most important lesson he had to teach her. She also knew now that his absence was the worst punishment, he had ever given her.