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Coming out as Bi to My Wife

Later I married a beautiful girl and proceeded to make a hash of it. She was everything and I didn't know what to do with it, so I screwed it up a lot. After some decades of being married and things had their ups and downs and the baggage built between us, I got on line and found some random dudes to blow me. I felt empty and horrible.

Later, when I thought we were doomed to get divorced or live a life of misery, she came to me. She knew we were both unhappy and she wanted to know what I needed. We talked and cried and held each other for days. But mostly we talked. We both missed the people that we had fallen in love with all those years before.

And then I told her about the gay stuff. The past. The cheating. The porn. All the shame and hiding. We talked about everything. Every cause and effect. The underlying REASON behind every time I looked away from her to someone else. I told her I thought I had a cock fetish that may have started from childhood. That I think I wanted to be with a guy.

That was a tough time. But I told her, truthfully, that she is and was my one true Devotion. And if there was NOT a way to involve her, I wanted NOTHING to do with this fantasy. And then I suggested, what about a 3 way? Isn't that how it always starts? But it didn't really happen like that.

I suggested we buy some toys. Strap-ons. Plastic dicks. It would just be her and I and I could work through this fascination in my head with just the two of us.

So we stared playing. She pegged me. I DP'd her. It went around and around. Sucking and fucking and harnesses and soon enough she's as in to it as I am and we are getting more adventurous and playful and loving and everything just kept getting better.

And then one of us, I don't remember who, said "you know, we COULD do this with the real thing." She could wear a blindfold, so she has no interaction with the other guy. It's just the same as playing with a dildo but there's a creamy surprise to go with it. And I get to finally figure out if I still really want to play with a dick, or maybe this is all just leftover head trauma from the stupid opportunistic stuff I had done years ago.

We found a clean bi friend and fooled around. We both sucked his cock. We took turns fucking her. There was an intentional barrier to interaction between us and our friend. Just mechanical sex stuff. And I was totally meh about it. And surprisingly not jealous about it either. Because she was my focus. She still is.

So we did that a few more times and more meh. Man, I'm getting over this gay stuff. She's really liking the attention and the kink and the fucking, but I am quickly getting burned out. I mean, I was already fucking her. And that was fun. But this is just letting some other guy in to do the same thing I was already doing, but at the same time. This was definitely more fun for her than it was for me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I had chosen Bi guys for a reason. They (my wife and friend) were sucking my dick together. Her and I were sucking his dick. I would straddle his leg so she could suck both our cocks double barrel style. We would jerk each others cocks. We were spit roasting her and swapping ends. Even a few DP sessions. It was text book porn stuff. And I was getting tired of it.

But then one day my friend was fucking her missionary style and she was sucking my dick. It was this really cool moment when his head was down a bit and I was leaned into his shoulder. I had a hand in her hair and a hand on his back. And all three of us where really into it and really feeling each others bodies. She was rubbing his arm and pulling him in to her with her heels. I moved my hand down to his ass, told my wife I loved her and kissed my friend on the neck. And everything just clicked.

Up until that point we had rules about touching and kissing on the mouth. Rules that seemed unnecessary. But a few minutes later when both he and I are kneeling on either side of her head while she sucked both our cocks together and he and I are chest to chest and kissing each others shoulders and necks and our hands are on her and on each other. And there was this magic moment when we both pulled back and looked down at her at the same time. And all of our eyes met and we were grinning like fools.

Later, after we had both cum in her. After we had lane together as friends and gotten some cold water. Later after he thanked us both and left and it was just us two in our bed. I got really scared and told her that I liked that more than anything we had done before. I liked touching and kissing our friend. And, "I think I'm Bisexual" I said nearly crying and terrified she was going to freak out and leave me. Thinking that she was going to think I was no longer her big strong guy.

She laughed. She laughed and kissed me.

"You think so?" She asked jokingly. "How many dicks have you sucked?"

She was right of course. By that time we had already had half a dozen threesomes and foursomes with several trusted and verified clean friends. We had already been doing all the mechanical sex stuff, but this time it was different. This time I realized what was missing. The human element. Touch.

As usual, she is far more perceptive than I am. She could see and feel a connection that I couldn't. She was wearing a lace mask at the time of our 3 way understanding. And she could still see more clearly than me.

Love without sex is as empty as sex without love. And while I don't feel the same kind of love for our boyfriends as I do my wife, there still has to be a connection. Some sensual interaction between all parties involved. Otherwise, it's just a circle jerk. Mutual masturbation.

And while that may be fun for a bit, it's always better when you feel your partners desire. Their lust not just for an orgasm. But to be inside you. To be a part of your flesh. To reach a point in a threesome where you loose track of who is who. And you don't care, because this is where you want to be.