I met my wife in College 38 years ago (Married 33 years).She was a virgin (but with fantasies of being "taken" CNC), and I had only had intercourse with one of my girlfriends. We had a great sex life and it carried on after our wedding. We had experienced a one time same-room play with another couple in school, this event and Penthouse Letters had exposed us to the swinging lifestyle. This was one of our go to fantasies and we purchased our first swingers magazine on our Honeymoon. It did take a while to gain traction but in a year we were meeting other couples and "playing". About 12 years ago I began having episodes of ED, this was very traumatic with me feeling I was letting down my play partners and that I wasn't man enough to satisfy my wife. As time went on my ED became markedly worse with now I can't become erect enough to have sex with my wife much less others. I have diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and Depression. While there are most likely some physical limitations, most of my issues appear to be psychological. She has always been driven to find people to satisfy her at parties, often with little input on my end. She has never been very "passionate" or explorative when she is with me, but has no limitations with others. My self esteem and confidence are shredded, I would love to share my skills with her and/or others but I don't feel adequate enough to share time with them knowing my limitations. So at the end of the day I don't feel like I am man enough to satisfy my wife much less others. Thanks for your time. Again advice, understanding, compassion, and affection is extremely welcome.