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How important is kissing in the lifestyle and do you all do it
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > How important is kissing in the lifestyle and do you all do it       09-12-2013 09:39 AM
Both of us were married previously. Both of us had some relationships between marriages. There was nothing we hadn't done before with others before we met. We still found a kindred partner and loved each other. It didn't matter that we had kissed, fondled, fucked, done anal sex with others before we met. We didn't need "brand new and unused." I think swinging may be a bit easier to adjust to for those who have been married before than for high school sweethearts who have been "one and only" for each other all their lives. In the end, what matters is the relationship you have with each other. It's what goes on between your brains, not what goes on with your lips and/or gonads. Jim
Question for Men
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Question for Men       08-30-2013 16:28 PM
If a woman is sharing her body with me, I'm not going to examine it for minor imperfections. She might examine MINE for the same reason! Damn, THAT'S a scary thought! Any women who share themselves with me, God bless you! Jim
How Often
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > How Often       08-23-2013 17:33 PM
When we have a favorite playmate, we try to play at least 6x/year. We also try to have SEVERAL favorite playmates, so we don't get over-involved with any one. There is safety in numbers. It really reduces the chances of getting emotionally attached beyond just warm friendship. Jim
What do people consider real around here
FORUMS > General Discussions > Straight Couples > What do people consider real around here       08-16-2013 17:47 PM
I think you missed my point, Open. I've seen so many times on this site where people have accused others of being fake just because they weren't interested in meeting. Sorry, but if we aren't interested in YOU, it doesn't mean we're fake. It means you aren't what we're looking for. And those who think others are fake because they don't want to meet THEM are incredibly egotistical. Here's a clue. You don't turn on everyone on this or any other site. If people don't want to meet, move on. You only look childish if you get rejected and cry FAKE!!!! Jim
What do people consider real around here
FORUMS > General Discussions > Straight Couples > What do people consider real around here       08-15-2013 17:38 PM
REAL = someone who resembles the pics in their profiles and is willing to fuck them. If they don't have an attraction, then they're "fake." Jim
Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > Late Bloomers vs Lifetime Experiences       08-15-2013 17:37 PM
We started at ages 50 (me) and 49 (she). Lucked into a great group of friends early on. Like you, we found ourselves playing nearly every weekend for a while, either with one other couple or several couples or at a house party. We enjoyed it immensely, MOST of the time. There were, of course, some uncomfortable moments which are going to occur when you are pushing your boundaries. After a while, we found we didn't need to play so often, and that the sex might occasionally equal, but never exceeds how good it is at home. Now it's just fun to have friends you can greet with a French kiss and a fondle!!!! If more happens, that's fine, but it doesn't have to. Jim
are religious people less intelligent than atheists
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > are religious people less intelligent than atheists       08-15-2013 17:33 PM
I have a religious cousin who likes to use the "you just didn't get the gift of faith" line on me. I tell her I did, but traded it for the gift of logic and reason. Jim
How Much Did You Pay For Gas Today
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > How Much Did You Pay For Gas Today       07-27-2013 17:24 PM
Just filled up at $3.31/gal. A station up the road was at $3.29. But it was raining, and the $3.30 station had a roof over the pumps. I paid about 20 cents to stay dry. Jim
What to Do
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > What to Do       07-07-2013 12:38 PM
When we were starting out and hadn't yet met couples through swinger friends or at house parties hosted by swinger friends, we searched this and other swinger sites for couples who were near in age, near in distance, and whose pictures and profiles indicated they might be good matches for us. Then emailed them and suggested we meet at a family type restaurant located conveniently for them and us. We lucked out with the first couple we met, with whom we had our first swinger experience a couple weeks later. They also hosted several small-ish house parties every year, and we met other couples through them at those parties. We found it was a lot of effort to get started. Only about one out of every 4 or 5 couples we met for dinner appealed to both of us (and we to them) so that we ended up as playmates. But once you have found three or so couples who become playmates, you can keep busy enough, plus you will meet some of their swinging friends and then it just happens easily. Best of luck! Persistence is the key. Jim
When do you drop out of the Lifestyle
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > When do you drop out of the Lifestyle       06-18-2013 18:50 PM
Old swingers never die. They just peter out. Jim
penis enlargement
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > penis enlargement       06-17-2013 19:12 PM
That sure makes "pull my finger" sound wimpy! :-) Jim
penis enlargement
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > penis enlargement       06-16-2013 16:04 PM
I think Lorena Bobbit is probably available to help you out. :-)
penis enlargement
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > penis enlargement       06-16-2013 10:20 AM
It only works for people trying to make money off of suckers. Jim :-)
small breasts
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > small breasts       06-03-2013 18:48 PM
Those aren't small, Shelley, those are just right!!!! Or as I like to describe just-right things, GOLDILOCKIAN!!!! Jim
How important is kissing in the lifestyle and do you all do it
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > How important is kissing in the lifestyle and do you all do it       05-27-2013 08:39 AM
Lost, "cold-blooded fish" is a term I would never have thought to associate with YOU! :-) Jim
Birth Order
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Birth Order       05-25-2013 08:16 AM
I'm the middle of 3 boys, spaced 3 years apart. Jim
One state under God Latest license plate stirs controversy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > One state under God Latest license plate stirs controversy       05-08-2013 19:05 PM
I have no problem with that on the license plate, so long as they also offer "One state under Allah" and "one state under Yahwe" and "one state under Buddha" and "one state under Great Spirit" any other religion's name for God. And also "one state under nobody" for the atheists. Equal for all. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Jim
How important is kissing in the lifestyle and do you all do it
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > How important is kissing in the lifestyle and do you all do it       04-25-2013 19:34 PM
No kissy, no fucky. We both feel that way. Jim
Ever had better than your spouse
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Ever had better than your spouse       04-15-2013 19:58 PM
Sex is like chili. It's all good, just some is even better than others! LOL Actually, I have on occasion had sex just as good as what I have at home with my better half, but never better. She claims the same, but she might just be protecting my male ego. I guess I'll just believe her. Jim
New to the life style
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > New to the life style       04-15-2013 19:54 PM
Oh, and welcome to the Forums!!!!! Jim
New to the life style
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > New to the life style       04-15-2013 19:53 PM
I don't think there is a pat answer to your question. Some people find a swingers club to be the easiest way to get started. Others are more comfortable with just meeting one couple. Others prefer attending a "meet and greet" where everyone is a swinger, but there is no pressure to play that evening, just to get acquainted with some people. We liked to meet couples one at a time. After finding a couple whose ages and profiles made them sound compatible and whose pictures suggested we would both find them attractive, we'd make contact and arrange to meet for dinner at a restaurant. That did give us a good chance to get to know them and their personalities a little and to see if they actually resemble their pictures, or if the pictures are 20 years old. We found, though, that the most common outcome was that one of us would be interested and the other would not. We probably met 5-6 couples for every one where we both felt like a "play date" would be nice. It's a lot of work and a lot of time and effort. For us, private house parties turned out to be the best way to meet playmates. Even then we "mixed and matched," i.e., P played with whatever guy(s) she found attractive, and I did the same with whatever ladies appealed to me. We made no effort to wait until we found a COUPLE that we wanted to play with as a COUPLE. We just freelanced. Remember all those couples where only one of you was interested in playing? At house parties, you can enjoy them if you are both comfortable with freelancing. We used to call those people "party candy," because we could play with them at a party but not have to get together as 2 couples. If you expect to only play together as a couple with a couple, you will find that harder to arrange. We were lucky. The very first couple we met, we liked. They are still friends 16 years later. More than that, they loved to host parties at their house about 4 times a year, so they invited us. We met a lot of our playmates that way. So there are different ways to find playmates. Some of them work much better for some couples, others for different couples. You'll have to start with whatever makes you both feel most comfortable, and go from there. Eventually you'll probably try all ways and then mostly stick to what you find most comfortable for both of you. Jim
Getting a New Group Party to Relax and Play
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > Getting a New Group Party to Relax and Play       04-11-2013 20:58 PM
Hardly anything is as good for this as getting everyone naked together in the hot tub. Jim
One state under God Latest license plate stirs controversy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > One state under God Latest license plate stirs controversy       04-09-2013 18:11 PM
Wonder how Texans would feel if the license plate said "One state under Allah." Jim
Annette Funicello, of Mickey Mouse Club dies at age 70
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Annette Funicello, of Mickey Mouse Club dies at age 70       04-08-2013 17:05 PM
So sad. My first crush!!! Jim :-)
Full Swapping in separate rooms
FORUMS > General Discussions > Straight Couples > Full Swapping in separate rooms       04-04-2013 19:40 PM
Two reasons: 1) We once were in the same bed with a couple. While fucking us, they held hands and smiled at each other the entire time like "Hey, look at me!" They paid no attention to us at all. We might as well have been blowup dolls. No thanks. 2) Paula has difficulty reaching orgasm under the best of circumstances. The sounds and motions of another couple in the same room are just too distracting to her, and she has no chance at all for an orgasm under those conditions. We swing to have fun. Those experiences aren't fun. So we don't care if you disagree with our choice to use separate rooms. It makes swinging fun for us both. So that's what we will do. Jim
Smoker Haters
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Smoker Haters       04-04-2013 19:33 PM
No sympathy for smokers here. Paula is absolutely allergic to smoke, the odor of cigarettes in someone's hair and clothes, and the smell of cigarettes on their breath. She found herself in bed with a smoker once at a party, and her lips swelled up with an allergic reaction. Her nipples became swollen and raw. When she says she's allergic, she's not kidding! It doesn't matter how many hours it's been since your last cigarette. I was at a conference last week and left a meeting I was attending when a guy came in and sat down in the chair next to me, absolutely reeking of cigarette smoke. I find it nauseating. The problem is most smokers have no idea how badly they reek of cigarettes. They are so accustomed to the odor they can't even detect it on themselves anymore. Smoking is not only a killer to the smoker and those exposed to the secondhand smoke, but it's a dirty, filthy, stinking habit. And kissing a smoker is like licking a dirty ashtray. Yum yum!!! Jim
A cheating husband
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > A cheating husband       04-04-2013 19:27 PM
We are friends with a couple who had a similar situation. He finally told her that he was going to enter the lifestyle and she could come with him or stay home, her choice. She really felt dragged into it and had no enthusiasm for it. Guess what? She learned that she enjoyed it. She learned that she was bisexual. They became enthusiastic swingers and hosted several great parties every year. I certainly don't recommend that approach to anyone. It could as easily destroy your marriage in a heartbeat. But for them, it worked. Jim
Viagra Information
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Viagra Information       03-30-2013 10:00 AM
People are different. In fact, each person is a unique genetic being (unless an identical twin, triplet, morelet). So medications affect each person differently. I am on 3 meds for blood pressure, and use viagra. The 50-mg dosage had no effect. The 100-mg dosage helped some, but not enough to make me happy with the result. I now use 130-mg tablets. They work great for me, and don't cause any side effects at all. Just like any other drug, don't expect any person's testimony to mean that the drug will affect you the same way. I'd recommend starting out with as little as 25 mg, then if you're not pleased with the result and have no side effects, try 50 mg, and so on until you find a level that works for you without causing side effects. Jim
How did you meet your significant other
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > How did you meet your significant other       03-28-2013 16:29 PM
I had joined Parents Without Partners in a small town in northern NY. There were about 80 members. About twenty of them you were glad to know. The other 60 not so much. It was obvious why they were without partners! LOL Anyway, about a dozen PWP members used to meet for happy hour on Friday nights at a local restaurant. They were the cream of the crop, so to speak, and they even let me join them! :-) It was nice. You could go there on a Friday night and hang out with friends without feeling like you were in a meat market. Just friends. Paula had separated from her husband. She wasn't in PWP, but she knew a couple of the people who were and went to that Friday happy hour. When they learned she had been separated, they invited her to join our group. I'm not telling the rest of the story, but it didn't take me long for me to dump my former girlfriend and start up with Paula! :-) Jim
When Is It Over
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > When Is It Over       03-24-2013 18:33 PM
Hell, instead of shaking hands or "A-frame hugs" when we are with old and former swingers, we expect to still exchange tongue kisses and feel each other up! I can't imagine that being naked together won't still be fun when you're so old the pill doesn't work. Jim
When Is It Over
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > When Is It Over       03-24-2013 15:50 PM
I think it ends gradually as your playmates grow older, retire and move away, or develop health issues and drop out. In your sixties, it's not easy to find replacement playmates. Those luscious 30-somethings aren't beating our doors down (sigh.) Or maybe it ends when you get to be 80 years old. As a friend of mine once told me, "Jim, let me tell you what it's like to be 80. Everything that's supposed to be flexible is stiff, and everything that's supposed to stiff is flexible." :-) That is likely the inevitable end for all us guys :-( Jim
Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner       03-24-2013 15:46 PM
Yes, Sensual, you still have it! I think. Maybe you should open your private picture to me so I can be sure. :-)
should women shave there pussy hair
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > should women shave there pussy hair       03-02-2013 08:53 AM
If you don't own the pussy, don't make the rules. Jim
should women shave there pussy hair
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > should women shave there pussy hair       03-02-2013 08:34 AM
"should women shave there (sic) pussy hair? " If they want to. :-) Jim
BBC--how did YOU start
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > BBC--how did YOU start       02-23-2013 11:56 AM
We were at the nude beach at Hedonism II. She liked the guy and set up a date for that afternoon.
Russian meteor strike
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Russian meteor strike       02-17-2013 16:53 PM
The meteor the dinosaures saw was a tad bigger! Jim
Russian meteor strike
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Russian meteor strike       02-17-2013 12:14 PM
Loved the clips of the meteor streaking across the sky and blowing up. That must be somewhat like the last thing the dinosaurs saw!!! Jim
Men Should Act Like Men
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Men Should Act Like Men       02-14-2013 13:45 PM
Used to have a house which was porous enough to let in mice every fall when it turned cold. I set out traps in the bottom cupboards of the kitchen every night. Checked my trapline every morning. The dead ones went in the trash. The ones caught but not killed got released in the woods behind my house. Everybody deserves a 2nd chance! And I've been a hunter for 50 years. Go figure. If there was such a thing as "catch and release" hunting, I'd have started doing that years ago. Yeah, yeah, I know all about photography. It's not the same. Our earliest hominid ancestors killed to stay alive by having food. Our very teeth are evidence that we are both meat-eaters and vegetable eaters. I don't fight it. We are what our ancestors and evolution dictated that we become. But there's no reason to kill unnecessarily if you aren't going to eat what you kill. And these days I see no reason not to leave most wildlife for the next guy - or gal. I've done enough. And big game is too damn difficult for an old man like me to drag out of the woods. These days I settle for game birds. I can still carry them!! Jim :-)
Would you swap wives for the weekend
FORUMS > General Discussions > Straight Couples > Would you swap wives for the weekend       02-14-2013 09:25 AM
We like to fuck 'em and leave 'em! Jim
Men Should Act Like Men
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Men Should Act Like Men       02-14-2013 09:24 AM
To quote comedian Bill Maher, "In this country, the manliest thing most men do all day is pee standing up!" Jim
should women shave there pussy hair
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > should women shave there pussy hair       02-14-2013 09:22 AM
Women should do what they like, which hopefully coincides with what their s/o's like. Or compromise with a landing strip. Jim
She likes it small
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > She likes it small       02-12-2013 19:14 PM
Wasn't there a country song about a guy "hung like a squirrel?" LOL Jim
Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Have you ever developed feelings for a play partner       02-12-2013 19:13 PM
Most of the time there isn't enough of a "click" to be more than just casual friends with benefits. But both of us have had the experience when the attraction is much more than just physical. When you find a mental attraction as well, the physical aspect is just that much greater. So, yes, each of us has had a playmate in the lifestyle that we were "sweet on." It's a major reason why we went to parties and why we played with other couples as well - we didn't want the ones we were "sweet on" to become too important to us. Jim
Stamina of the other husband
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Stamina of the other husband       02-09-2013 18:16 PM
Here's my thought: one of those two things is inevitable!!!!! Jim
Christians
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Christians       02-03-2013 15:43 PM
Atheists don't communicate telepathically with their Imaginary Friend. Jim :-)
Men Should Act Like Men
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Men Should Act Like Men       02-03-2013 15:41 PM
Or our rightful place as arrogant pigs? As Paula often says "Men are pigs!" Jim
Superbowl Sunday
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Superbowl Sunday       02-03-2013 11:14 AM
Same here! LOL Jim
In total disbelief
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > In total disbelief       01-28-2013 10:22 AM
At a first meeting we make it clear that playing is probably not in the cards, but we don't rule it out completely. Very rarely we have played with a couple at the first meeting, but that is a really unlikely occurrence. Jim
what's a nice, lite pre play date meal
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > what's a nice, lite pre play date meal       01-19-2013 09:33 AM
We hit on a solution that works just great for us. When we're with a couple who has become good friends, we play first and eat afterwards!!!! Life is short. Eat dessert first! Jim
What is your best way to relax your cock when alone
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > What is your best way to relax your cock when alone       01-05-2013 09:19 AM
When I'm alone, my cock never gets tense, so there's no need to relax it! Jim
Grumpy Old Man Complex
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Grumpy Old Man Complex       12-29-2012 20:17 PM
Hmmm. Is somebody on here grumpy? Just sayin' Jim
Grumpy Old Man Complex
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Grumpy Old Man Complex       12-28-2012 20:32 PM
I find myself sometimes thinking "What in the world is the world coming to?" Especially watching the stupid commercials on TV. And marveling at how true Newton Minnow's dictum "Television is a vast wasteland" still is. Even with 800 channels there is often nothing worth watching. And I think the country has been dumbed down by our educational system for so long that the dumb generation is now holding sway. And that the younger generation is ruining the country. And then I remember that's what my father used to think back in the revolutionary 1960s, when I was in high school and college. And his father before him. And every generation in history, most likely. I think it's just the passage of so many decades leaves the world a vastly different place than that in which we grew up. That's a bittersweet realization. Much of the change is good, but much also isn't. You can't ever go home again. Don't make the mistake of going back to visit some place that made you happy when you were a kid. Keep the memories of what it was. And I think we "grumpy old men" reach a point where we can't tolerate poor work ethics and indifferent performance, especially by retail sales people, restaurant servers, etc. who are paid to SERVE. Hmmmm. Congress could remember that, too. So our grumpiness isn't just because of decreased testosterone. It's because the world, and the people in it, aren't the way they used to be when we were young. And maybe we're pissed because the lovely young things don't even give us a glance anymore, except perhaps to pity the poor old man. Sigh. But life is still wonderful, and we have GRANDCHILDREN to bring us joys we never had when we were young. And we appreciate the deep love that comes from long companionship with our beloved spouse. And we recognize that Dad was right when he told me on my 13th birthday, "Son, when you start to think about a woman, pick one with a face you can stand to look at across the breakfast table, and with something between her ears, because from there on down they all have the same equipment." LOL It's Paula's mind that I've grown to appreciate more and more strongly over the years (and perhaps as mine slips slowly away!). I love her body, too, mind you, but I recognize that lovely bodies are far more abundant than lovely minds. And I've learned that the secret to a long and happy marriage is to learn to readily say "You were right, dear. I was wrong. I made a mistake." Even when I wasn't wrong! LOL You know, every age has its blessings as well as it's hardships. Life ain't all downhill and shady! But I have truly enjoyed every decade of my life. There were some really wonderful years, and some years of travail and hardship, but together they made me the person I am. And I rather like who I am. At least enough that I won't be shooting up any elementary schools! Behind every grumpy old man is a lifetime of experiences. Many people do grow grumpy as they get older. Others, and those I most admire, become more pleasant, more open-minded, more compassionate, and more able to express their love for family and friends before it's too late. Happy New Year to all, from one such grumpy old man! Jim
Not willing to share
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Not willing to share       12-20-2012 18:58 PM
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Jim
Are you really a swinger
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Are you really a swinger       12-16-2012 12:19 PM
One of the most important lessons in life is to never let someone else define who you are. Jim
Lets bless our friends and Families in Newtown Conn and around
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Lets bless our friends and Families in Newtown Conn and around       12-15-2012 09:38 AM
Every parent in the country grieves with those in Newtown. Jim
figuring things out
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > figuring things out       11-12-2012 18:54 PM
A rule that usually works well is "proceed at the pace of the SLOWER of you." Jim
Labia Minora
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Labia Minora       11-04-2012 16:25 PM
This would be one of the most irrelevant factors I can imagine regarding whether I "liked" it or not. It's the WOMAN that matters, not some trivial part of her anatomy considered in isolation from her character and personality. Good Lord, if a woman has let you SEE her labia minora, count yourself lucky and don't be picky! Jim
Threesome Question
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Threesome Question       10-29-2012 14:47 PM
The two of you should have discussed this possibility in advance. Discuss it now before you try a sleepover threesome again. I see nothing wrong with it if you two have talked about it and agreed it's OK. In fact, it's pretty hot. I would have joined in and made it a 3-way party. Jim
Sandy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Sandy       10-28-2012 21:10 PM
Federal Government in DC area is closed Monday. Metro rail is also closed. Nobody's going anywhere. We're battening down the hatches and chaining everything down so it doesn't blow away or get washed away.
Sandy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Sandy       10-27-2012 21:10 PM
I think Sandy is taking dead aim at us! Jim
younger couple vs older couple who would you like to play with
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > younger couple vs older couple who would you like to play with       10-25-2012 15:42 PM
We have one simple rule about age of playmates. Older than our kids. Younger than our parents. Jim :-)
Happy Thoughts 2012
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Happy Thoughts 2012       10-22-2012 09:02 AM
Shelly, you have no need to be concerned about confidence. Heck, we were 50 years old when we started swinging! To our surprise, we found that we were still attractive to enough people (that were attractive to us too) that we were kept quite busy. P was very worried that at her age, with a hint of gray in her hair, wrinkles starting around her eyes, and a bit soft in the abs that she would be compared constantly to all those hard-bodied, smooth-skinned 20-somethings and 30-somethings. Nobody wants to be compared to people with far better bodies. But aha! It turns out that men over 40 often are very attracted to mature women with flaws too, especially when they have intelligence, wit, and kindness. It's called being attracted to the WOMAN, not just her BODY. In fact, what I learned over the years is to judge a woman from the neck UP, not DOWN from there. P found she had more guys interested in her than she could possibly accommodate at the parties we attended, and was able to be extremely selective. She, too, chose the men who appealed to her from the neck up. There's got to be a nice face (personal concept of "nice," not everybody's) and a personality and intelligence in there. We aren't looking to fall in love with anyone, but we do like to fall madly in bed with our partners. And for us, that means having a PERSON in that body that is fun and kind, and a PERSONALITY to tease and play with. Everybody has a body. Trust us, Shelly, you are only just entering your best years. Jim
Are kids effecting your sex life, or have they in the past
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > Are kids effecting your sex life, or have they in the past       10-21-2012 16:16 PM
The kids years are for sure dominated by the kids' needs, but they fly by so fast you can't remember it. And then the empty-nester years begin, and oh does the sex - and swinging - get good! :-) Jim
Whatever happened to good ole' fashioned common courtesy!!
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Whatever happened to good ole' fashioned common courtesy!!       10-20-2012 11:11 AM
"Common courtesy" is an oxymoron. Courtesy is anything BUT common! Jim
How long do you last
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > How long do you last       10-13-2012 10:49 AM
How long I last is inversely proportional to how long it's been since I last had sex!!!! Jim
guilt
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > guilt       10-13-2012 10:48 AM
I think the best perspective on guilt I've heard is from a book by Claude Steiner titled "Scripts People Live." He explains how all of us are "scripted" as little children by the "big people" in our lives - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, clergy. Before we reach kindergarten we are already given a script which we are expected to follow in our behavior. We don't even know we've been scripted. Our feelings of guilt arise when our actions are inconsistent with our script. Unless we are made aware that the script exists, most of us are unable to ever dodge the guilt, or "conscience," that nags at us. Once you are made aware that you were indeed scripted, you are free to choose your OWN script, and live your life mentally and emotionally in a more comfortable place. As an undergraduate who hated his major at a time when the alternative was to go to Viet Nam, I once visited the campus counseling center. The counselor "fixed" my dilemma in one session. He said: "Picture your mind as a giant warehouse, as big as four football stadiums. Now see that every square inch of wall space is covered with pictures hanging on it. Our job is to figure out which pictures YOU hung on those walls, and which ones SOMEBODY ELSE HUNG THERE FOR YOU!" You don't have to throw away every picture. You do need, though, to take each one down, examine it, and decide if you like it and want to keep it on your "mind's wall," or if you want to replace it with another of your own choosing. Jim
Some folks should just quit the lifestyle
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Some folks should just quit the lifestyle       10-08-2012 20:40 PM
Hmmmm. Just sayin' here . . . . maybe the folks who should quit the lifestyle are the ones who tell others what they should do. Jim
Started, Stopped, Starting Again Maybe
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > Started, Stopped, Starting Again Maybe       10-05-2012 14:44 PM
Don't worry too much about it. In15years we've run into exactly one acquaintance at a party - and they ran into us, too! All of us valued discretion, so we all were discreet. Relax and enjoy! Jim
Do you like Autumn
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Do you like Autumn       09-28-2012 09:26 AM
Personally, I like hot and wet. Oh, you were talking about weather!!!!! My bad! Jim
1st time halloween costume
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > 1st time halloween costume       09-28-2012 09:20 AM
Him: Wear only a pair of roller skates and go as a pull toy. Her: Stick a raisin in your navel and go as a cookie. You're welcome. :-) Jim
the blue pill ot something else
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > the blue pill ot something else       09-26-2012 17:43 PM
It's not about marketing. It's the damn FCC rules that won't let them show a man and woman naked together in the same bed or hot tub. Thus his & hers tubs are the best they can do. We get the idea. :-) Jim
Life, death and evolution
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Life, death and evolution       09-23-2012 18:02 PM
"After all, the job of evolution is to creat the more perfect being." Actually, evolution doesn't have a job. Evolution HAPPENS, and has no direction or intent. In fact, there is a tremendous amount of pure serendipity, pure chance, in the direction things go. So much that if it were possible to rewind the evolutionary clock and start again, a vastly different outcome is likely. Environment, competition, and chance determine outcomes. And life is such a probabilistic thing that there is virtually no chance that the same levels of competition, environmental factors, and chance outcomes would result. Probably the major force in human evolution today is "cultural evolution." Jim
Paying for it
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > Paying for it       09-23-2012 17:55 PM
Sounds to me like a "Happy Meal!" Jim
One more on GMO from Natural news
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > One more on GMO from Natural news       09-20-2012 21:02 PM
The claims AGAINST GMOs are either blatantly false or unproven. Genetically modified crops provide resistance to devastating crop pests, WITHOUT USE OF REPEATED PESTICIDE APPLICATIONS. That in itself is a boon to the environment. The alleged damage to the environment is all hypothetical and not proven in actual scientific experiments. About fifteen years ago I was one of several dozen ecologists from across the country who were invited to visit Monsanto's St. Louis headquarters facilities where genetically modified corn and rice were being developed. We were shown the actual crops, shown the entire process, and directed to the publications in peer-reviewed scientific journals that addressed GMOs in crops. Crop yields have risen dramatically. Without the multiple pesticide applications, the agricultural environment and water tables are much safer. Food prices are much lower than they would be otherwise because of the savings on pesticides and the dramatically increased crop yields. The world's human population can be better sustained because of the larger crop yields (you can debate whether THAT is a boon or not!). Bias is an ever-present threat to human understanding. We are given such snow jobs in commercial ads and political ads that everyone should KNOW they should view ALL ads as at least potentially biased, and then see who is paying for those ads. That's the bias you are being given. Natural News???? Now THERE is a dependable, unbiased, scientific rag, don't you think? Sorry, but the claims against GMOs represent the Chicken Little nightmares of the scientifically illiterate. And they are further proof, if any is necessary, that we are living in an anti-intellectual era. Jim
Where are the older swingers
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > Where are the older swingers       09-14-2012 15:26 PM
We're getting ready to retire. Juat finished and closed on our smaller retirememt house in the foothills of the Blue Ridge. About 18-20 months and counting down!
Multiple Cialis
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Multiple Cialis       08-28-2012 13:26 PM
If you take four of those, do you get an erection that lasts 16 hours?
Poison Ivy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Poison Ivy       08-23-2012 14:27 PM
Here's a hint. Don't grab a handful of it to wipe your ass like our son did! It took cortcortisone to fix.
same room or separate rooms
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > same room or separate rooms       08-01-2012 18:23 PM
Or too many cocks, either, huh? LOL Jim
Wives with Boyfriends
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Wives with Boyfriends       07-26-2012 11:16 AM
After years of swinging and also years of reading the Forums on this site, we have observed how prevalent it is that people think their way of playing is the "right" way, and anyone else's way is the "wrong" way, and there is obviously something wrong with everyone not just like them. And they are perfect, of course. Weird! Jim
Where are the older swingers
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > Where are the older swingers       07-24-2012 09:44 AM
Similar age group is more comfortable. There has to be something to talk about besides "was is good for you?" It's hard to have a meaningful conversation with people too young to remember the Viet Nam War and who were born after the Beatles broke up!!!! Jim :-)
WHO'S ON FIRST
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > WHO'S ON FIRST       07-21-2012 08:10 AM
Peghey, your comment about crying reminded me of a story - one that made me laugh so hard! At her wedding reception, my daughter told everyone that she had only seen her husband - a physician who grew up in Manhattan - cry twice. Once was the morning after 9/11. He had spent the night at the site of the Twin Towers, searching desperately for people he could help or even save. When dawn came and there was noone left he could do anything for, he broke down and cried. The only other time was when the Yankees lost the World Series! LOL Equal tragedies, apparently. Jim
WHO'S ON FIRST
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > WHO'S ON FIRST       07-20-2012 17:44 PM
I'm old. Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon just a couple of weeks after I graduated with a degree in Aerospace Engineering. A bunch of the engineers in my Unit gathered at our boss's new house to watch it happen. And my dad worked on the Apollo program. Fake? Not a chance in a million! Jim
Exceptions to profile rules
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Exceptions to profile rules       07-12-2012 19:21 PM
I inform such folks that unless they expect me to depants everyone in the restaurant where we are going to meet, there's no way I can identify them without face pics. Jim
WHAT'S YOUR FETISH
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > WHAT'S YOUR FETISH       07-09-2012 15:37 PM
Not sure if it qualifies as a fetish, but I do love women with red toenails!!! :-) Jim
Attention Whoring 101
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Attention Whoring 101       07-09-2012 15:16 PM
Shells, you've had MY attention for a long time!!!! Jim
First Party
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > First Party       07-06-2012 18:25 PM
I guess I'd advise first timers not to EXPECT anything, but to decide before you go what you are, and are not, comfortable doing. Then just go and have fun and enjoy the sexual ambience. You can flirt, you can dance, you can kiss, and see how things go from there and whether you want to go with the flow or back off and observe. We've attended a lot of parties, and after we learned never to EXPECT anything, we had a lot more fun. Occasionally we had pleasures we never expected! And if you don't feel comfortable yet with anyone at the party, then just take your own partner into a room and get it on in front of other people! You can have a lot of fun if you go to flirt and don't EXPECT anything to happen beyond that, and the chance to meet couples you might want to hook up with another time. Have fun! Jim
Loud or Quiet
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Loud or Quiet       07-01-2012 10:09 AM
We're betweeners. Neither loud enough to annoy the neighbors or "barely making a peep." We vocalize enough for our partners, but not for those in the next room, let alone the neighbors. Unless, of course, it's the neighbors we're playing with! Jim
The Den
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > The Den       07-01-2012 10:06 AM
Our solution is to invite the neighbors over for our cooled down "hot tub." Only the rule is they have to be naked to get in!!! :-) Isn't neighborliness fun? Jim
Are there ANY Straight Women
FORUMS > General Discussions > Straight Couples > Are there ANY Straight Women       07-01-2012 10:01 AM
Paula used to say she was fine with OTHER women playing together at parties, because it meant "more men for ME!" Alas, the aggression toward her by other women, even when they KNEW she is straight, became a real turnoff. She got sick and tired of having women tell her "Oh you are too bi, you just don't know it yet." It beats the hell out of me how women can scream bloody murder about being touched in a group situation without having invited the toucher or given permission, yet can aggressively paw or attempt to go down on another woman without HER consent or permission. What's the deal with that???? We now largely avoid parties (unless we host and it's only our invited guests) and stick with "dates" with another couple. Jim
What do you think about CHEATING WOMEN
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > What do you think about CHEATING WOMEN       07-01-2012 09:55 AM
"What do you think about CHEATING WOMEN" Not much. About the same as what we think of cheating men. Swinging is all about mutual trust and complete honesty with your spouse/partner, and is done by mutual agreement with the knowledge and consent of your partner. Cheating is deceitful and requires disrespect for your spouse/partner, and instills dishonesty and mistrust into your primary relationship. One is fun for both partners. The other can destroy your relationship. We know a couple who decided to become "exclusive" with another couple. They were together every weekend. Despite that, the "other guy" and our friend's wife decided they needed to cheat and get together during the week as well. Of course they were discovered. Of course it devastated the two spouses and severely damaged their marriages. You can fuck as part of a swinging adventure, but fucking in secret without your partner's knowledge and consent is a whole different animal. Trust, once broken, is very hard to reestablish. And why on Earth would anyone who is getting together every weekend in a swinging relationship as couples need to fuck each other during the week as well? Jim
How Much Did You Pay For Gas Today
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > How Much Did You Pay For Gas Today       06-30-2012 19:09 PM
$2.99 in Warrenton, VA. Lowest price we've seen in a year or more. Jim
Thoughts,Opinions
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Thoughts,Opinions       06-23-2012 09:40 AM
I read somewhere recently that everyone alive on Earth today is 50th cousins or closer to everyone else. Don't know how much truth there is in that (it's still being debated), but clearly we all came from common ancestors. Analyses of mitochondrial DNA (inherited only from mothers) tell us that everyone is descended from a woman who lived about 100,000 years ago in northeast Africa. All other female lineages have died out. And analyses of Y-chromosome DNA tell us that we are all descended from a man who also lived in northeast Africa 60,000 years ago. All other male lineages have died out. So we are clearly all cousins, folks. Don't know yet for sure if it's 50th cousins or less, but we are all cousins nonetheless. So, dear Shelley, you have been kissing your cousins all your life!!! LOL Jim
The Den
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > The Den       06-22-2012 14:01 PM
Damn, Frank! And all this time I've been thinking that SEX in the swimming pool was the best way to beat the heat!!!! Jim
First date rules of engagement
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > First date rules of engagement       06-22-2012 13:59 PM
The "first date rules of engagement," I think, depend a whole lot on whether you and the couple you are meeting are new to swinging or have years of experience. We started out with the "no play on first meeting" rule, but learned that we knew within the 1st few minutes of meeting whether or not we were interested in playing. So if it turns out we are, and they are too, then why waste a good opportunity? We also learned to "strike while the iron is hot." We've discovered that the longer you wait after meeting a couple, the less likely that you ever get together. Jim
What's wrong with us
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > What's wrong with us       06-14-2012 17:28 PM
Well, since you asked . . . . First of all, your profile virtually screams "Don't bother with us." I mean, you TELL people you aren't the kind that people play with. I suggest rewriting your profile, removing everything you put in red font (it's mostly negative stuff - and nobody finds that attractive). Second, you should realize that your experience is TYPICAL. Most people would prefer to BE approached rather than do the approaching. That allows them to avoid being turned down. But if everybody sits around waiting to be approached, then nobody is approached. Your negativity may be sending vibes to people, too. You need to work on being more positive and upbeat and outgoing and above all, full of smiles and warm greetings. I hope this doesn't offend you, because I'm only trying to help you. And remember, NOBODY is everybody's cup of tea. So no matter how warm and friendly and smiley and upbeat and positive you are, you will experience your share of "no thank yous." Cheer up a little, in person and in your profile. Your luck just may change for the better. Jim
Who's viewing your Profile
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > Who's viewing your Profile       06-14-2012 17:20 PM
I think your friends were confusing this site with a different swinger's site. Jim
Swinging is it a gateway to fetish play
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > Swinging is it a gateway to fetish play       06-13-2012 18:30 PM
I think for a certain percentage of people, yes. We have witnessed that progression in some long-time friends that we don't play with anymore. But for most people, I don't think so. Jim
Magical cut off age
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > Magical cut off age       06-08-2012 10:35 AM
I sure hope nobody cuts off MY magic wand whatever age I am!!!! Jim
Question(s) about same room
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > Question(s) about same room       06-03-2012 15:39 PM
And there is another reason why some people (like us) prefer separate rooms. The distraction of the bouncing and sounds from another couple can make it really difficult to stay focused. And for Paula, lack of focus = guaranteed no orgasm. So we prefer the separate rooms in order to avoid distraction. If we play in the same room, we'll still have fun, but we know it won't lead to orgasm, at least for her. So if we encounter a same room couple, we offer them a deal. This time your preferred way, but next time our preferred way. If they won't meet us halfway on that, then bye-bye. If people insist on "my way or the highway," then it's the highway for us. NEXT!!!!! Jim :-)
how about wedge pillows
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > how about wedge pillows       06-03-2012 09:15 AM
Never tried wedge pillows for sex. Personally, I prefer sex with a woman! :-) Jim