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JOEY8199    Posts: 663
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Double standard when it comes to bi guys in the lifestyle
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Double standard when it comes to bi guys in the lifestyle       11-26-2013 12:11 PM
There have been so many posts on this. I say list your orientation based upon the primary type of play you are looking for and then gear your email toward the their preferences.; If your primary preference is women, or playing with the woman of the couple. Then it would be better to list as straight, since many couples will exclude "bi men" simply for being listed that way.; If you want to primarily attract bi couples or men, youre better listing as bi so you come up in their search.; A lot of guys are mostly into women but can be a little flexible in the bedroom under the right circumstances. Does that make them bi? Technically yes. But its pointless information to list if youre primarily looking for women.;
At what point does one become bi as opposed to Bi-Curious
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > At what point does one become bi as opposed to Bi-Curious       04-08-2013 18:18 PM
Kinky. Its not the fear of trying bi play or sneaking it in. If you read these forums. Many couples who specify "No bi men" do so because in their mind, you automatically have every STD known to man and some yet to be discovered.
Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Finding Playmates > Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers       04-08-2013 18:14 PM
Regarding what another poster said. Single guys are by far the worst at this.
What does not compatible mean when you haven't talked or met
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > What does not compatible mean when you haven't talked or met       03-29-2013 18:57 PM
Like others have said. Just a nice generic way of saying "no thank you" We'll send an email like that to someone who otherwise did take the time to read our profile and they likely do match our basic criteria but for whatever reason we are not interested in that particular person.
Is Everyone Just Too busy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Is Everyone Just Too busy       02-27-2013 07:49 AM
VA Beach. Exactly!!
Are swingers the rudest most inconsiderate people out there
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Finding Playmates > Are swingers the rudest most inconsiderate people out there       02-19-2013 11:20 AM
We can be very hit and miss at times. Take a while to read and respond to email, take a while to followup, etc. But we SAY that. Both in the profile and in our initial conversation when we start chatting with someone. Another one to chalk up to "Just be honest"
Pitiful treatment of single males
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Pitiful treatment of single males       02-19-2013 11:03 AM
This is what I mean by communicating and treating people like PEOPLE on here. Single guy cancelled on us last night that we have played with before. WE'RE NOT MAD! With plenty of advance notice he got ahold of my wife and just said he got up real early, we were planning on meeting real late, and he had to be up real early the next morning, and was not feeling the energy to get up and go out after he got home. Not a problem!!! No BS lies. No BS excuses. He was just honest with us like you would be with vanilla friends. To us, that is "life happens" We feel the same way sometimes. Just dont wait until we're showered, dressed, and ready to go, and make up some lie at the last minute.
Are penises getting bigger
FORUMS > General Discussions > Open Forum > Are penises getting bigger       02-19-2013 10:43 AM
Looking at the statistics for penis size (most are in the 5-6ish range) I have however made an observation. Is is just me or do younger guys under 30 or so, seem to have larger penises? This isnt an old vs young thing and I dont fit the "big ass shlong" category myself but if you look online there do seem to be more larger penises than average, and i mean picture wise, not going by self stated measurements. Im wondering if the average american penis is actually getting bigger. I could just be seeing things or it could be coincidence, and I might be totally wrong, but I do notice it.
She likes it small
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > She likes it small       02-19-2013 10:37 AM
To me its not a big deal....lol big deal.... But it is true that the MAJORITY of penises are in the 5 something range. When have you seen someone admit to 5 something? I just send pics and if you like it, have at it.
Pitiful treatment of single males
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Pitiful treatment of single males       02-17-2013 15:03 PM
You just dont know whats behind the profile. A "single man" with a wife a wife and kids in the next room. A couple where the other half has no idea Single females who are god knows what. There is the "life happens" part too. Many times we have set up meetings for a future date and when that time comes, all we want to do after the day we had was put on pjs and curl up on the couch. We just dont feel like getting showered, dressed, and going out much less playing. In those cases however we do one of two things. Usually we go and meet simply out of principle because we hate being canceled on. Or with notice we will talk with them like PEOPLE and tell them just the honest truth. No "getting stuck at work" no "grandmas in the hospital" We'll simply say, its been a hell of a day, we're running behind, and would be more into meeting another day. If people would be honest with their intentions and their situations, things would be much easier on here. Not that I support cheating, but I would rather a guy say he had to sneak out and cancel because he couldnt get out of the house instead of thinking he is "single with roommates" and "Got an emergency call to come into work at 10:00pm at Sears"
She likes it small
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > She likes it small       02-17-2013 14:01 PM
Who knows. 9 out of 10 seem to say they want "well hung" Im reluctant to respond to anything stating that because, compared to quite a few I see, I dont match that. But we get an awful lot of messages that state they are "well or very hung" and I got them beat. So who knows.
How to arrange a 1st time safely
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > How to arrange a 1st time safely       02-15-2013 14:23 PM
Just put it right in your profile. Unless youre saying that "without the partner coming along" really means "without my partners knowledge" Then you either need to make a separate profile or use CL or a more male male oriented site. Not that I condone the idea of playing behind your partners back. But if youre going to do it, youre going to do it. So thats how.
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       02-15-2013 13:51 PM
If we email a "straight" guy, we just send a generic, "Hi, we find you attractive. Check out our profile and if you happen to be into how we like to play, feel free to write us back" A few will write back, "Sorry but I really am straight" MOST...LOL... MOST Write back all for it. Profile tags are useless
Is Everyone Just Too busy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Is Everyone Just Too busy       02-15-2013 13:47 PM
My topic of choice to write about. lol Simple. Its not a "schedule conflict" There could be many reasons, but odds are you are not talking to 2 people in a couple who are serious, and ready to meet. We now are very quick to set a meet. G-rated. Public place. No expectation to play. But nonetheless meet in person. Any more than a few emails or contacts without a commitment to meet, we move on. The pattern is the same. Night after night, week after week of chatting and they are "home hanging out, doing nothing" Bring up meeting and its "Ohhh boy...I gotta check my schedule...Its a busy time....Maybe we can try next friday night, I think ill be free" Or if they set to meet, 9 out of 10 will cancel. 80 hours is not a rare work week for me. PLUS I work part time jobs here and there in addition. My wife works 3 jobs part time. If we want to meet, we make it happen. Its always the same type of people. Cant schedule a meet, but like clockwork they still want to chat online every night.
Pitiful treatment of single males
FORUMS > General Discussions > Men Talk > Pitiful treatment of single males       02-15-2013 13:36 PM
Kind of repeating most things already said. Ive written for years about our single men experiences. As a couple, single men are predominately what we look for. I completely agree that GOOD, REAL, single men are just as much unicorns as single females. I believe that most single men buy into the "get laid tonight" or "there are 200 horny females waiting for your dick right now" advertisements and their social skills go right out the window. The quality of most email we get just plain sucks. One liners with no pics. Why do they even bother? Everything else I think boils down to just plain social anxiety. The THOUGHT of meeting someone online for sex is great! However when it comes time to leave the computer and actually DO it, MOST single men bail. When time after time you get the same cancels, same last minute (grandma in the hospital, stuck at work) excuses, it gets old. When you spend a lot of time chatting and texting, and really looking forward to meeting someone, and they disappear like the others, it gets old. Yes, the number of single guys on these sites far outnumber everyone else, so you would think its a "lottery" But the overwhelming majority use these sites for porn and fantasies, and while many think they want to actually do it, dont have the balls to in reality. We're not super picky. Dont have a list of "requirements" a mile long, and dont expect to have any money spent on us. We just want someone who talks to us like a person, and actually shows up to meet. With that said. I realize I just speak negatively on here. But there are great single guys out there, and yes, we do meet them, and we do play. We have had awesome experiences. But if youre the one guy who legitimately has to cancel on us because you're taking grandma to the hospital. I apologize in advance that you will find yourself blocked next time you sign on. 12 others this year ruined it for you by telling us that.
Where to get Tested when no Insurance
FORUMS > General Discussions > Safe Sex > Where to get Tested when no Insurance       02-15-2013 13:14 PM
Most local health departments offer testing and in my experience its always been free. Thats usually where I go.
In total disbelief
FORUMS > General Discussions > Getting Started > In total disbelief       02-15-2013 13:11 PM
We say "no play on the first meet" also. That gives he/them and us an out if we're not feeling it. At the same time, we're prepared and ready just in case. Many times its just clear we all want to and are ready, so then we just go for it.
She likes it small
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > She likes it small       02-15-2013 13:07 PM
The percentage of the male population with a penis larger than a REAL, not INTERNET 6 inches is very small, Online everyone claims to have an 8 incher but its statistically impossible for anywhere near that number of people to have one. Im not 8 inches, yet have had plenty of 8 inchers show up that are smaller than mine. Soooo. Just ask for pics and throw the measurements out the window
House Party
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > House Party       02-13-2013 12:41 PM
Depends who you are trying to attract. Since your profile is blocked from couples I assume you want either a gangbang (if its open to single guys) or you somehow think you will pack your house full of single women from here. Neither one is going to happen how you envision. If you invite 10 single guys, maybe 1 will show. And you can invite 100 single women and not one will show.
Profile Help
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Profile Help       02-13-2013 12:34 PM
Kinda repeating others. Pictures are number 1. We dont even open an email if there are no pictures on the profile. I would write in your profile a paragraph about your understanding of the lifestyle, your understanding of your role with a couple. And emphasize your seriousness about meeting for real and having fun. (Without sounding pushy) Keep something in mind. A couple gets a ton of emails from single guys, young, old, hot, hung, ugly, skinny, built, fat, you name it. You need to set yourself apart from them. While yes. A young, built, hot, hung guy will get our attention. He also will turn us off in 2 minutes when we realize he is too new, scared, and shy to leave his computer. We would rather meet an "average" but REAL person than go back and forth playing word games with "hotties" that will just waste our time. This is not downing myself. But as a guy, Im not ugly or fat by any means, but I also know that I wont be a couples "first choice" when they are looking at profiles. (when i had a single profile) But Im ok with that. I write a profile and an email that they wont respond right away, it will sit in their inbox. They will go through the "hot and hungs" and after a while of nothing but games and frustration, they will come upon my email again. And BAM, a day later im in their bedroom. And thats just fine with me.
bi sexuality in swing clubs
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi sexuality in swing clubs       02-13-2013 12:26 PM
In my experience. Many disagree. But for years I have stuck with my opinion, based on being in the lifestyle for years, that very few men are totally straight. Personally. I think if some bi play occurred in club play, nobody would say a thing and very few if any would have a big problem with it. If it were reasonable, and done in the course of straight play also, no big deal. I think if 2 guys started going at it one on one full on. That probably would not go over well. That would change the element and make some uncomfortable. As a bi guy myself, very vocal about it being acceptable, I WOULD NOT want to go to a regular swing club and see that myself. Its just a different dynamic and would be out of place. Now if there were a group of men and women or 2 guys and a girl and they were all playing and exchanging some incidental bi contact at the same time. I wouldnt have the slightest problem with that nor would I think many others would.
bi sexuality in swing clubs
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi sexuality in swing clubs       02-12-2013 16:01 PM
I havent seen where clubs prohibit it but at the same time Ive never seen it occur. We play "straight" at the clubs ourselves and if we were going to involve bi play we would take it into a private room.
Are swingers the rudest most inconsiderate people out there
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Finding Playmates > Are swingers the rudest most inconsiderate people out there       02-07-2013 11:55 AM
Probably close to 90% of our first time in person meets are either no shows or last minute cancels.
Rape Fantasy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > Rape Fantasy       02-06-2013 13:30 PM
ANY scenario can be played out in role play. As long as everyone is into it and wants it, its fine. I think we're all (most of us, lol) aware enough that there has to be an element of pre-planning and discussion. If my wife had the "van fantasy". Same thing. I could have guys "kidnap" her and leave her in the woods. But you bet your ass its going to be well planned, with trusted people, and safety measures in place. And she will know its coming. There is a HUGE difference between a "rape fantasy" roleplay and a REAL rape. Her jogging along and getting yanked into a van, knowing her husband set it up and she is not in REAL danger is a lot different than her just thinking she is on her morning jog, and it happening out of nowhere. Even that if it was set up, and she didnt see it coming, could be traumatic as hell. This is not something I would even consider setting up with a stranger or someone from online.
Who pays for what
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for what       02-06-2013 13:17 PM
Ok Ill clarify what I said at least. If my wife went out for dinner and a room with a single guy, yes, I would "expect" that he paid. It would NOT be demanded or discussed beforehand, and she wouldn't go out without money, and if he said split it, she would. I would "expect" that simply because as a guy I could not possibly imagine not doing that myself. I wouldn't even think not to. So if he didn't, I wouldn't be mad, wouldn't demand it, but I would just be surprised. That's not prostituting. She is more than capable of paying her own way and wouldn't demand or ask anyone to pay for her. Again, it would just surprise me. Honestly the money topic never comes up unless its a single guy saying he cant meet because he doesnt have money for gas. Personally, I enjoy doing little things like picking up the tab, no matter who it is. We dont go out with people often but when we do, especially with friends that we know had to save up for a night out, I love to sneak off and pay the bill before the waitress comes back. When we meet a single guy, and the check comes, I just hand it back to the waitress with my card without even looking at it. What the heck is an extra $15-20 bucks that his food may have been? I envy those whos biggest problem is these types of logistics in this game. We cant find enough people who will actually show up, for this to be a problem.
Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Finding Playmates > Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers       02-06-2013 12:53 PM
In most cases we find with a couple that they are not both equally involved. Maybe they tossed around the idea and he made a profile and ran with it, then when the meet is set shes like "WOAH, wait a minute? We just kinda talked about it a bit" We have met a couple before where she had no idea why we were actually meeting, he figured once we had dinner and hung out "we could seduce her into it" I think with us personally, there is usually a less than above board reason why they dont meet or cancel at the last minute. We make it sooo easy and laid back. We generally have a "no play on first date" policy, unless they really want it. Its just meeting at a public place and having dinner. And we make it extremely clear there is no expectation beyond dinner. I can understand anxiety and cold feet, but the way we do it, there is no real legitimate reason not to meet us after we agree. Yes, life happens, things come up. But with the frequency that we get canceled on, we have heard the same excuses so many times that we honestly dont believe anyone anymore.
Who pays for what
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for what       02-05-2013 14:10 PM
Party. Now. If my wife were to meet and play with a guy one on one (which she can/has) then yes, it should not cost her a dime. He should cover dinner, room, whatever, just like he would on a regular date. Especially since hes pretty much guaranteed to get laid. For a 3sum. Yes, it would be nice. Yes, I offer when I play as a single with a couple. But we dont get bent out of shape if he doesnt. Now, when HE asks US to pay his share or give him gas money to meet......Then its time to tell him where to go. And yes, surprisingly that happens. Again, we dont expect single guys to drop to their knees, beg, and worship the fact we chose them. But we have had the other extreme too where they are too arrogant and feel we should be lucky he chose us. Just be a real dam person and conduct yourself like you would with vanilla friends.
Rape Fantasy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > Rape Fantasy       02-05-2013 14:03 PM
Depends how you go about it. I sure wouldnt advertise it as such and wouldnt do it with a stranger. Im setting up a scenario with my wife which isnt quite a rape scenario but might give you an idea. We have a few single guys that we have or do play with and she would want to play with again. What im going to do is have her tied up and blindfolded, and have it set up for one of those guys to come over and "have their way" with her. She wont know who it is, but its someone that I already know she approves of. Ill be in the other room watching on webcam. Again, this is milder than a "rape fantasy" and its in a controlled environment where she is "alone" but not really and a "stranger" is taking advantage, but not really.
Who pays for what
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for what       02-05-2013 13:49 PM
I agree with both sides here. 1. The single male is "the lucky one" due to supply and demand. HOWEVER!!!!!! HOWEVER!!!! 2. We have learned supply and demand are not what they appear online. We may get flooded with single males emailing, however, the number of single males who will be truthful, real, make a commitment, and show up, are probably not far off from the number of "unicorns" So while its nice for a single male to offer to contribute to the evening, we are happy to find one thats just respectful, fun to be around, shows up, and is who he says he is. That puts him no different than us. He is asking to join in our fun, and we are asking him to join us. At that point, we want him as much as he wants us. My biggest complaint online is that hiding behind the computer screen you lose all the courtesy that you would have in real life. Why cant people just be real and upfront like the would be with vanilla friends? When we are supposed to go hang out with friends and we just for whatever reason dont feel like it. We call and say..."Hey, we just dont feel like going out" We dont come up with some far out story to lie. If you get cold feet. Just say so!! I can totally understand why some couples are pretty short and demanding when it comes to single guys. Hell, single guys are mostly what we want and the work that it takes gets us frustrated and short too. But a good single guy is bringing as much into your play as anyone else and should be treated as such.
Who pays for what
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for what       01-31-2013 16:54 PM
While its nice for the SM to offer. We pay our own way, and for the room. And most of the time the whole dinner bill. One of the biggest excuses SM use when they cant meet us is that they dont have money for gas. So we certainly dont expect them to lay out any cash when 15 minutes in the car burns up their life savings.
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       01-24-2013 16:31 PM
I prefer to ask questions instead. I myself prefer not to play with most bi men. Yes. True. The guys we play with are typically the "orally friendly" type. AKA straight. We both share his and they both share mine. Zero additional risk having sex with ANY of us. My wife would be sucking his, and she sucks mine. So what the hell is the difference if she AND I suck his and She AND he suck mine? What scares me is......The number of STRAIGHT listed guys, who will read our profile and send us something to the effect of....."I want to fuck you and have your husband fuck me at the same time and cum in my ass" Now those are the types of "bi" guys WE try to avoid. I scroll a lot of different sex sites. Classifieds, CL, here, other swinger sites, gay sites....And one thing I notice is people use the same few pics everywhere. I know "straight" guys on here looking for couples or women for straight play and even say things like "NO MEN!!!!" Then I can show you their profile on a gay hookup site as a bareback bottom taking all loads. Its just like condoms. Its complete bullshit that when those topics come up 10 to 1, everyone is SAFE ONLY. We're not active every week but we have had our share of experience over the years and it is 100% fact that no matter who we have met, couple or single, no matter what we discussed in advance, either my wife or me had to stop things as they were getting ready to slide in or slide on. Condoms were not even a thought in their mind, be it first timers, or experienced that we met. My wife pointed out at the swing club that of all places, condoms were very seldom used. And we watched people meet, hookup, swap, move on to others, and not a rubber in sight. (Yes there were some, but there sure were no shortage of complete strangers who didnt even have a profile to view, just sticking bare) I watched one woman take on at least 5 guys, and the ones that approached her with a condom on, she pulled it off. Nobody walked away. Some people flame me for my "opinions" but thats reality, like it or not. I dont believe for one second that all men listed as straight are except for almost every single guy in a 50 mile radius. So if we are getting emails from almost every guy in our area, and they are cool with bi play. Do you think theyre not emailing "no bi men" couples? Is it just coincidence that nobody has ever showed up with condoms? And nobody has ever brought it up unless my wife had them scattered within arms reach. And that most will ignore the rubbers all over the place and still try to "let it slip" So just explain to me how thats all possible. When you read the forums and bi men are supposedly the outcast minority and everyone shows up with a 30 pack of trojans.
Why so many men listed as straight suck cock
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Why so many men listed as straight suck cock       01-24-2013 10:34 AM
I agree. Im not disputing that one bit. There is a revolving debate that has gone on here for years about guys listing as straight when they are in fact open to bi play. In my fact based opinion, from years on here and other places, the number of guys open to light bi play far outnumbers guys who are totally 100% straight. But reading the tags on the profiles, you would not think that was the case. Some couples will automatically reject a guy if he is open to that even if it is a small part of his interest and he is perfectly content playing straight. So for those who are mainly looking for straight play, but can be flexible if the situation warrants, they will list as straight but then explain in an email that they are open.
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       01-23-2013 20:25 PM
I still dont feel the slightest bit wrong or guilty about it. Youre a single female. So if we were going to play one on one, bi doesn't even come into question. You dont have a penis, youre not bringing another penis, so that would be flat out straight male/female sex. In that case, if you were interested in me, and attracted to me. Telling you that I could also play a little bi in the right situation would be totally useless information. We're meeting for straight one on one sex. Do I need to tell you I can rebuild a truck engine? Whats that have to do with anything? How about that I can use an iron if I had to? If someone was looking for a welder, I can do that. Im not a landscaper, but if you needed the lawn mowed, I could pull that off too. I wouldnt bother telling you any of that unless your profile said, I want to have sex with a guy on an ironing board set up on fresh cut grass. There are a million things that I am capable of doing if I am asked to. I dont see any need to list those. And I see no reason to tell someone that I was going to have straight one on one sex with that I can be flexible if a couple wanted a guy to play with both of them. Just useless information.
Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Finding Playmates > Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers       01-23-2013 20:02 PM
Ive just learned to accept it as part of the game. The overwhelming majority of people that we talk to and then set up to meet, back out. There are many possible reasons, but it is the reality. We have sadly become less personal lately with people and more of a "numbers game" mentality. We wasted countless amounts of time emailing, chatting, texting, only to have people cancel last minute, or no show, after we practically became best friends by text. So now, we exchange a couple of emails and then want to meet in person, G-rated, no sex, just hang out, grab a bite and chat that way.
Why so many men listed as straight suck cock
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Why so many men listed as straight suck cock       01-23-2013 19:53 PM
If you are even semi-active swinging, youre playing with bi men. If youre more comfortable because they check the "straight" box. No problem. But dont think for a second you avoid bi men that way. We only play with orally bi guys. I cant think of a guy that we have played with that has listed as bi. I can count on one hand probably the number of guys who we have emailed in the years we have been on here listed as straight, that when we say "Hey, we know youre listed as straight but by chance are you into......" where they come back and say no. The whole "risk avoidance" while I understand it, its laughable to think that its effective.
how does a single woman put together her own GangBang
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinging Single > how does a single woman put together her own GangBang       01-20-2013 13:01 PM
I imagine it would be tough if you are selective. By selective I mean just a normal person who wants to know who they are going to be with. It will require a ton of work, and giving the OK to a far far higher number of people than what you are looking for, so that maybe a few will show up. There are groups that are established which would probably be more dependable and you can probably have an easier time that way. The other way obviously is to go to a club or something and just not be selective at all
Multiple Guys Fantasy
FORUMS > General Discussions > Fantasies > Multiple Guys Fantasy       01-20-2013 12:53 PM
We're into that but it is sooo hard to get even one guy to actually show up and not cancel, that its going to be a lot of work to get more than one together.
Why So Few Nice Single Men
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Why So Few Nice Single Men       01-20-2013 12:47 PM
We're primarily interested in single men and have the same problem. This is going to sound bad but our experience is that by far MOST single men are clueless when it comes to swinging. With very few exceptions. Most live this as an online fantasy and go from sex gods to scared shy boys as soon as we say, "lets meet" We have 2 clubs in our area. One is expensive for couples, very expensive for single guys and also very restrictive in how single guys can participate. They cannot approach couples, interact with them etc unless invited. There is a dress code and this club is overall a fun place. We went and for the first time my wife played with 2 single guys who she was into. I like to watch and stay pretty invisible. I love watching her play like im not there so I dont "chaperone" Well the whole time she played with these 2 guys, I spent dealing with guys who did not take a polite "no thanks" from her. It was unbelievable that so many people did not know the first basic rule of "ASK PERMISSION AND IF SHE SAYS NO, DONT TOUCH" That was complete BS. Instead of watching my wife have a hot time, I had to play security. She couldnt enjoy herself fully because she had to keep checking to see where hands were coming from. That right there will turn off couples to single guys. We wont even go anymore to the other club in our area. They have no dresscode, its cheap for single guys to get in, cheap for couples, and single guys have free roam and access. You would think that would be perfect since we want single guys. Not when its nothing but guys wearing xxx sports jerseys, hats sideways, and dressing and acting like they just came from the ghetto. This club lets anybody come in and honestly its just not appealing. I wish the other club had more single guys but I can see why they dont. And I dont think I would want them to change their policy either. If I were single, I would not go and pay $100 to get a wristband and sit on a barstool, not allowed on the dance floor or to leave the bar just hoping some couple comes over and picks me. But I blame the guys. They get treated like second class "swingers" because that is how they conduct themselves. Again....Not all...So if it doesnt apply to you, great. But im not dreaming this up.
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       10-30-2012 11:27 AM
I agree with everyone on all opposing sides here...haha Personally when I had a single profile, I listed as bi. Started as straight and my inbox collected dust. Changed to bi, and got plenty of activity. And personally I would rather play with a bi couple than a straight couple. So there was no downside to me listing like that. Like I said, the profile listing used to be a deal killer. But I now look at the profile tag as "What type of play are you primarily looking for" If you are looking to play in the manner that the people you are contacting are looking for, your orientation listing is meaningless. If a couple is looking for straight play and I want to play straight with them. There is no reason whatsoever that I need to say that Im bi. Completely useless information. I dont disclose that in real life. I dont walk around with a t-shirt that says "Im bi" When I have the occasional "random girl encounter" or hookup, I dont tell a single girl.....By the way, Im bi..... So to me its not a big deal.
Single Men Single Women
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Single Men Single Women       10-11-2012 14:58 PM
Many times we have had it happen. Usually not right off the bat but my wife does most of the chatting once we decide we are interested in someone. (Its from a couples email that we both use) And more often than I would think it happens. I would say more guys try to hint at that than dont. Thats an instant deal killer right there. Just asking is an automatic spot on the "do not fuck list"
Follow up, Single Men Women Woman time
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Follow up, Single Men Women Woman time       10-10-2012 19:23 PM
Hell its hard to find people in general.
one on one male play
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > one on one male play       10-10-2012 19:21 PM
Thanks Bill :)
one on one male play
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > one on one male play       09-24-2012 12:03 PM
Bill That has been my experience anytime I have been interested in one on one.
Why is it the single males chicken out
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Achieving Single Male Success > Why is it the single males chicken out       09-24-2012 11:58 AM
Same here We have actually had much better luck with the impromptu "one email and come over" ha but thats extremely rare. Thats where the frustration comes from. The guys disappear or chicken out AFTER all this back and forth for days or weeks. Emailing, texting, chatting, then the last minute back out and you never hear from them again. We tried a different approach a couple weeks ago. We had a few single guys we were interested in and had plans ourselves to go to a club. So anyone we were talking to, we invited and a few were "on their way" Not one showed. Its just online in general. I dont think most have sinister intentions. I think they really do make an account and plan to have fun. But when it comes down to it theyre shy and scared.
Why is it the single males chicken out
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Achieving Single Male Success > Why is it the single males chicken out       09-23-2012 09:29 AM
I think its a little of everything. In my opinion way more people call themselves swingers or think they are. In reality i think most just chicken out when reality sets in. They are really expected to meet strangers for sex. I dont think most single guys are that open and ballsy when it gets right to it. If all you have experienced is sex in a relationship or maybe a "one nighter" that just happened , this is a whole different ballgame. People are trained that sex is private. I think most just panic when d day arrives
Question to all you Bare Back only folks
FORUMS > General Discussions > Safe Sex > Question to all you Bare Back only folks       09-19-2012 13:45 PM
A seatbelt wont save your life in EVERY accident. A condom wont ALWAYS prevent an std transmission. But the statistics on both show that regardless of the percentage, your odds are better with them then without them. Its like cops wearing vests. They can get shot in the head and the vest was pointless. The odds of getting shot in the first place are small. But if im putting myself in a situation where i could possibly encounter a bullet heading my direction. Ill take a vest over nothing. Others dont wear them because theyre hot, itchy, restrict movement and dont feel good in their opinion. Thats their choice. Im not taking mine off because they dont want to wear one. Its up to the individual how much risk they are comfortable with. Always remember. You are fucking strangers. You have no idea what they do when they are not with you. I cant count how many "safe only, straight" men ive seen online on sites like this. Then you look at CL or another site and find out they are bisexual blindfolded bareback bottoms taking all loads. You just dont know. So its up to you if you want to take that risk or not. All it takes for most is someone saying they're ddfree. Thats it. We say that. And we do get tested. But never once have we been asked to prove it. Just a "You guys are clean right?" us. "Yep" "ok cool"
Best way to get things going
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > Best way to get things going       09-19-2012 13:17 PM
Sure it scares away the couples that have "NO BI MEN" rules. But thats ok. Even though we play straight, and we have no requirement, we have no shortage of people who are better matches. So why be upset about the ones that arent?
Did the cum in your mouth the first time surprise you
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Did the cum in your mouth the first time surprise you       09-19-2012 13:14 PM
Well when you make it to nashville........I think we could show you around the area.....of our bed...haha
Single guys who dont keep to the rules
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Single guys who dont keep to the rules       09-19-2012 13:07 PM
Now I may be a swinger. And I love my wife "doing other guys". But that does not take away the fact I am a protective husband. My wife makes the rules. Its her body. Just let someone try and disregard or ignore that and Ill have a heck of a police report to explain...haha
No Response to Emails
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > First Contact > No Response to Emails       09-19-2012 13:03 PM
Back in the beginning it was "send an email and wait for a response" "Wait, theyre online....why havent they responded its been 2 days? I honestly dont pay attention now. When we get a dialog going back and forth then I get into it. Otherwise I have no idea who I or we emailed and never give a second thought to it. The only time I do is when we already have a back and forth going and then they fall off the planet. People just need to be upfront and honest on here. Thats it plain and simple. If youre new and shy. Say youre new and shy. Since we dont have these long stretches of not coming here like we did before we do respond to everyone now. "Thanks for the message but we're not compatible" 9 out of 10 times it works like a charm.
No Response to Emails
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > First Contact > No Response to Emails       09-08-2012 11:59 AM
Great post Sav Though I did get a laugh out of the line "If we contact you our privates are opening immediately" haha
Did the cum in your mouth the first time surprise you
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Did the cum in your mouth the first time surprise you       09-08-2012 11:50 AM
Dammit biboy. When are you coming to TN. Jeez...haha
jumping in or take it slow
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > jumping in or take it slow       09-03-2012 18:00 PM
Or even better. We have at least some pics on here public that give you an idea of what we look like in general. I love here and everywhere else when we get a profile with NO pics or only private pics and the first thing they ask is for US to unlock.
jumping in or take it slow
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > jumping in or take it slow       09-03-2012 09:39 AM
Most of it while technically not spam I would call spam. Im bordering a "metro" area so when I speak of the high number of responses Im not exaggerating. But CL is just like anywhere else, worse actually. You post: No pics, no age, no location - we WILL NOT RESPOND. No matter how many times you say that. Most will leave out some or most of those things. I think most people go fishing on there, at least the regulars. Just respond to every ad that comes up and hopes for one to stick. Im certainly not saying we get a huge response because "we're so hot everyone wants us"....lol Its just the area we're in. I think we could put an ad up that said "looking for a guy to clean up the yard after our great dane" and if it said MF4M we would get about the same response.
jumping in or take it slow
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > jumping in or take it slow       09-02-2012 18:15 PM
We are similar to what you are saying and it does make it tough sometimes. I (he) am spontaneous, random, and really just want to get down to business and if I had my way it would be an every weekend thing. I like to talk to a lot of people at one time since i know 9 out of 10 will flake If I had my way, we would be sitting home on a friday night at 8 and I wouldnt think twice about coming online or CL or something and having someone over within the hour. Pic exchange, if we all like, a little discussion to see if were sexually compatible and off to the races. My wife on the other hand has hot and cold interest. Prefers to chat with one person at a time. We will put an ad on craigslist, get 100 replies, then not do anything with them for weeks, and then 2 weeks later send one a response, and so on. So its very difficult for me because I have just enough to know its possible but I have to wait until the couple of times a year she puts a little effort into it. yet everytime we do it she loves it.
No Response to Emails
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > First Contact > No Response to Emails       09-02-2012 15:49 PM
It can be awkward. Nobody like rejection. You chat back and forth for a while, seems like a perfect match. Then you get a pic and youre really not into it. What now? You're basically responding, "Sorry, youre ugly, I lost interest" Ive been on both ends of this. Emailing back and forth then i send pics and they disappear. Well it doesnt take a genius to realize what happened, so me, personally I prefer the no-response. I dont take it personally and i just move on.
Single male cheaters!!!!
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Single male cheaters!!!!       09-02-2012 15:38 PM
I agree with what everyone said and their reasons. Personally. Im cynical about it. I dont exclude cheaters. Maybe morally wrong but in my opinion its not my problem. I look at everything in one way. We only know what people tell us and how honest they are with us. Who does a full background investigation on potential playmates? So all the guy has to do is say he is single. And most of the "no cheater" crowd will accept that at face value. If he is honest that he is attached and cheating, he will be excluded. Its just that simple. I prefer someone who may be lying to someone else but is truthful to us vs. someone who claims to be single then we find out when a rock comes through our livingroom window that he is not single. Same with bi men. "DDfree" and so on. We accept or deny based on words of strangers that we dont have any way to verify. For that reason, I look at each person individually regardless of their situation.
Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Is it ever OK to be rude in your response       09-02-2012 15:30 PM
Im rude to those who deserve it. I feel disregard or not reading our profile is rude, so that receives a rude response. Or trying to meet my wife alone. Rude again. But someone who writes a nice email and we just happen to not be interested, will get a nice "no thank you" response. Not rude in the slightest.
Open minded
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > Open minded       08-20-2012 09:58 AM
That's one of those things you dont know what it means. When we were active and would send outgoing emails, usually to single guys listed as straight but we were interested.....if we wanted bi play.....We would send something like. "Dang you look like fun. Too bad you're straight. Far more often than not they would respond. "Wellllll the profile isnt entirely accurate...." Thats a way to not disregard what their profile says but to find out what you want ti know. I would not do that as a single guy though, only as a couple. I feel if they list as straight they do not want single mm play and i would respect that. But for many, rules are different for couples.
one on one male play
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > one on one male play       08-20-2012 09:48 AM
Its not first on my list but if the situation came up i would play one on one. I dont seek that out online but have played one on one with friends. Thats where i get my view of "never met a straight guy" lol. When it comes to bi play i personally am more comfortable one on one. But our play is 99% straight so its just a little added fun. What i dont like is half a couple looking to meet us as a couple because they want to try a guy without their wife knowing. (To me that is different than a single/cheating profile ) in that case i respond that i would meet them without my wife as well. Never been taken up.
Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Is it ever OK to be rude in your response       08-19-2012 11:28 AM
Had a talk. Supposedly we're both on the same page. So just hanging back to see the results at the moment.
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       08-14-2012 09:56 AM
Regin. Been there many times myself. I hear ya. Many playtimes have been cut short because of it. We even tried the "guys meet first time then next time couple meets" But the flip side to that, there are a lot of single guys who pose as couples and use that same line and that second meet never happens. So i see where that policy would set off the BS alarm on their part too. I now just find that making it a topic that gets discussed a lot and made VERY clear from the start works. We just flat out say. "We're looking for you to play with BOTH of us and that is how we play. If we get the slightest feeling that you have other intentions, you will find yourself in a very uncomfortable embarrassing situation" We make it so clear that we are aware of the bait and switch that it scares off anyone with those intentions in advance. Otherwise if they werent bi when they showed up, they sure will be when they leave...lol
Why is it the single males chicken out
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Achieving Single Male Success > Why is it the single males chicken out       08-14-2012 09:44 AM
Obviously or so i thought. I was making a generalization. There are plenty of legitimate people and plenty of times that legitimate reasons come up to have to cancel. We've done it ourselves. I may sound like one in the forums but we're not hardass jerks. But we have been doing this long enough to see a pattern and can usually spot when something is bs or not. Its just a fact that we find most single men do not end up showing. A phone call with an apology and sounding sincere, would never be a problem for us. But thats rarely the case. Most of the time its simply cold feet. Which that too is understandable. But its very frustrating to alter our schedule, make arrangements, shower, shave and get halfway to where we are meeting and get a "i just got called into work" text from someone who is a cashier at walmart. I have a dozen employees. Try even getting one to answer the phone on their day off let alone drop everything (sex especially) and run into work on 5 minutes notice. There are exceptions to every thing i wrote. I realize that. But no doubt i was poking fun at real red flags though. And were talking "single" men. We are much more inclined to believe couples if they cancel. Which is extremely rare to have happen last minute. Ive gotten heat for saying we dont automatically exclude cheaters and such. Thats because we dont automatically exclude honesty.......with us......yes they are lying to someone. Excluding certain groups like cheaters and bi guys in my opinion encourages them to be lezs than truthful. And the fact is those 2 groups make up a very large portion of the people you find on here. The odds are very dgood if you play with single men, you will likely be with ones who are not sjngle. Me, id rather have that on the table. Have them say, "i cant get away from the wife" instead of "im stuck at work" and 2 hours later they're jerking off on cam cause wifey went to bed finally. If most single men kept their commitments we wouldnt be having this discussion. I just pointed out what i believe are the common reasons they dont.
Being blocked
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Being blocked       08-12-2012 14:38 PM
I can see using blocked like that. Id like to see an "ignore" feature added. To make them disappear, not show up in searches, and like they are not even here, but not saying "YOU ARE BLOCKED"
Kind of strange to me
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Kind of strange to me       08-12-2012 14:34 PM
Thats basically a twist on the one ive experienced many times. Answer an ad or a profile for a couple looking for a bi guy for an MFM. Always includes pics of a hot ass chick. Very enticing. Then comes... "We will meet first and play. Then if it goes well, she will join us the next time" Translated "Im a bi/gay guy who is having trouble getting someone on my own" If you want to do it. Ask to meet him and his wife G-rated first and find out from her if thats the deal. Now. It may be just me but: Somehow I dont picture a woman telling her husband, "Honey, I want a threesome. But I want you to rent a hooker, and try the guy out first, then let me know how it goes"
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       08-12-2012 14:25 PM
To add to that. I dont feel its lying. I am most interested in play with a couple. I am perfectly capable of playing straight. You would never know I was bi if i didnt tell you. I wont be chasing your man around the room trying to blow him if thats not what you want. So what is the point in telling a straight couple that Im bi, if it will have absolutely no effect on how we play? Im a contractor fulltime. I occasionally do towing also for a friends company. When people ask what I do for a living, I tell them Im a contractor. Thats my primary job, thats what I do with 99% of my time. I dont tell them Im a "contractor who also runs a wrecker on occassion" But if someone is looking for someone who can run a wrecker, I can step up and say "Hey, I can do that" Most of the play im looking for is straight. If youre a couple that is looking for someone who is a little more flexible.....Well, "Hey, I can do that" But if I represented myself as a tow truck driver......That would do nothing to benefit my contracting company. Its not relevant. Nobody is going to hire my company because I can drive a tow truck. And it may hurt me getting hired because people would think that the towing may interfere in what im being hired to do. I also used to think "what else are they lying about" But I now put this in a separate category. This lifestyle is full of lies. Condom only couples who are anything but. Std free. Who have never been tested. Extremely active couples "new and testing the waters" Couples as singles Cheaters You name it its here and in mass quantity. Its a matter of how far are you going to dig into someone life and how well are you going to get to know them before you play? Me. Im out for myself. Im in it for the sex. Im interested in the couple hours we are going to be together. I try my best to limit risks, try to avoid people I dont want, and play in a manner im likely to remain safe and ddfree. But the whole time knowing that mostly i can only go by what Im told. If a guy presents himself as single. How many people really do a through investigation to confirm that? But if he says hes married and cheating, they will exclude him. How many people require recent std results or just go on the profile saying "clean, ddfree"? We've never been asked for proof. Most everyone goes by what is said on the profile. Thats just a fact. Most times honesty has the opposite effect. Its unfortunate. A cheater will cheat. If he tells you hes single. He will get action. If hes honest and says hes cheating. He wont. It may not be the "morally acceptable" thing to do. But again, Im selfish. Im not looking for a spouse, or a close friend. Im looking for a couple hours of fun. So to me. The wife and kids at home, your problem, not mine. Im not hiding from my wife. So I cant get in trouble. So the risk is all on you. My criteria is "Are we going to be compatible for the few hours we will be together?"
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       08-12-2012 13:57 PM
After spending time in the forums I have become much more tolerant of some people and their profiles. I now understand why most bi guys list as straight and am not so quick to blast them over it. I know how to, in advance, "scare off" straight guys who lie about being bi thinking we will overlook that when we play. An honest email can overcome a single with a couple profile if it has to do with bi play. But dont approach as a couple then change it at the last minute. Where I didnt before. I now feel there is a difference in what people advertise vs. what they email and im not so quick to get uptight about it. I used to see listing as straight the same as "lying" until i realized that if you are only "situationally bi" and most of the play you want is straight, that you will be automatically excluded. I feel if you are looking to play as a single though, at the very least have a single profile. It is still a turnoff to get emailed from "half a couple" That raises too many questions. Is it a bait and switch? Is there really a couple? Does she know her private parts are all over the internet? Would much rather get emailed by a "married and cheating" single profile than half a couple profile. Personally if I were to play here as a single again. I would probably list as straight but while not talking bi, I would word the profile that I am VERY openminded and able to conform to the wishes of the couple. Then if I talked to a bi couple I would be open that Im bi. To others looking for straight play, Im an openminded straight guy. Many will blast me for that. But I see no problem in presenting your profile in a manner to attract what you are looking for vs. being excluded because you can also adapt to other situations.
Explain to Me Again
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Males > Explain to Me Again       08-12-2012 13:45 PM
Like others said. Ive argued the point for years on here. Couples have their reasons for not wanting bi guys. Some think they may be a higher risk for disease. Others think they may not be capable of not also screwing the man in the couple. It leads MOST bi men on here to list as straight. Which I used to have a big problem with but dont anymore. My advice. If your primary interest is bi couples or bi people. Stay listed as bi so you show up when they search. If your primary interest is straight play but you are bi flexible, list as straight, and then just tell people the real deal when you email them if thats what they are looking for.
the Bottom Line is, Single Males are not Welcome in most Areas
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Achieving Single Male Success > the Bottom Line is, Single Males are not Welcome in most Areas       08-12-2012 13:32 PM
Ducati Great observations. I see it as an employer. Nowadays with social media, and our lives based off computers and smart phones, people, especially the younger generation do not have the social skills developed that previous generations have. Kids have 10,000 facebook friends, but spend summer vacation inside, never playing with the others in the neighborhood, making forts, and using real life imagination. Even adults are so used to everything they want being available in the palm of their hand on a little device. Where I used to go to meetings and make presentations to sell a job, 9 out of 10 times now, its all done by email, video conference, text messages, I never see or talk to anyone in person at all. With the electronic life you just push a button and can demand anything you want right at your fingertips. If thats all you know, or thats what you have become used to.....You dont know what to do face to face.
Why is it the single males chicken out
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > Achieving Single Male Success > Why is it the single males chicken out       08-12-2012 13:25 PM
Discretion - Dont call or text me, my wife might see "My job" - Oh yes, god forbid someone finds out you have sex. That'll get you fired. Unless everyone is a politician. "Roommates" - Wife and kids "Roommates alternate" - Parents "Daytime play" - Wife work days I dont "Got called into work cant make it" - Wife stayed home tonight I cant get out "Got stuck at work" - Wife made dinner plans for us "Email only" - Wife gets the phone bill "no call no show" - Oh wow, Im really going to have to get naked with these ppl? Yikes! Then the others: I blew my load thinking about it now im not horny. I was horny a week ago but now Im not feeling it. I dont really match my pics Im not really 9.5 inches I cant "go for hours" Im not an "oral god" I really do have to play with the guy part of the bi couple And overall regardless of the "common reputation" guys are like most people. Most are not as straight up and able to have "sex on demand" and "always ready to fuck" like you commonly think. They can be just as shy and nervous as anyone else. I know even me, being experienced, and not a shy person. Playing as a single, I still would get that rush and bit of anxiety when it went from talking about it to, "Im getting showered and have to meet them at 7" There were times I would have to push back my initial anxiety and thought to cancel to go through with it. And im not a newbie. So I imagine for guys who have never done it before, its not as easy. I think thats the number one thing honestly. Once it becomes "real" it can be intimidating. I just wish more were honest about it and didnt make up BS. I/we would never get mad at or exclude someone who just said "Guys, now that the time is here, Im not sure Im ready" Instead of telling us you got mandated to come into work at 11 pm as a waiter at Cracker Barrel.
Who pays for room
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for room       08-12-2012 13:06 PM
Some couples look at it like this: Youre getting to fuck the wife. Thats our contribution. You got picked out of dozens of others. The least you could do is make the accommodations. Kind of like if you were a single guy meeting a single woman. Wouldn't you pay for dinner and a room? I can see where they are coming from. But in my opinion its more of a nice gesture, I would never DEMAND it.
Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Is it ever OK to be rude in your response       08-12-2012 12:52 PM
I get a laugh. Click on our profile now. Its been like this for some weeks now. Explain to me with what it says, and no pics, why are we still getting emails? Serious emails looking to meet. Ones that say "i think we would be a great match" What exactly in our profile would lead someone to take the time to email us? We're not "flooded" with emails but do get a few here and there.....Why?
Seeking some tutoring
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Seeking some tutoring       08-12-2012 12:49 PM
As everyone else said. With the profile you have. Anyone you email, its just going to get the delete button.
Single men, WTF
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Single men, WTF       08-12-2012 12:47 PM
Randy its just tough all the way around. Real, serious, attractive, single men are tough to meet with for the simple fact that most do not follow through with the meet. Its a fact. I conclude that from years of experience on here and other sites. This is especially true for the "young, hot" guys. I think people also tend to set standards that are higher than they themselves meet. So for an "average nice guy" who may be serious and follow through, people will tend to overlook him. Sometimes reality has to set in. I always wondered as a "young slim" couple why we would get so many emails from men who were more than twice our age and weighed more than both of us put together. Not being mean, but I wondered why they would email us. At the same time you see couples who would blow the tires out of a honda if they both sat in it, demanding "young, hung, and fit" For me, playing as a single guy, my success was my seriousness, and the fact that Im bi. I fit a smaller group. Im average all around, slim but not a gym body, not hung like a horse, and I realize im not most peoples "first choice" But I am bi. A lot of couples are looking for that. And i am one of the few that when they say "come on over" ill be showered and out the door in 20 minutes. Meanwhile all the other guys they chat with "get called into work" "dont have gas" or some other bs. Im also selfish. While I make sure to provide a great time, I dont really care why I get "picked" I just run with it.
Wow, do we need to move
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Wow, do we need to move       08-12-2012 12:33 PM
I dont think its "easy" anywhere. I have female friends and ones who enjoy...um...a variety of people in their sex lives, and none of them have problems finding guys in regular life. They dont need to look. So it just leads me to believe most dont pay for online memberships to find something they run across all the time. Most of the real single females i have found online, either appeal to a specific type of person, and maybe not everyone. Or they enjoy the communication aspect such as the forums and chats. With so much demand for single women, you just have to have an element of luck involved. If she is attractive, she has a full inbox of couples and men of every body type, every age, you name it. And unless she is going to hook up with 2 a day all year, your odds of being "the one" are slim. This is one of the reasons I took our profile down. Since we were looking for single men, and my wife was the "decider" we had a ton of traffic. But she talked with one person at a time. So 50 emails and she would strike up convo with 1 person and everyone else would be ignored, even if they were matches. I didnt like that.
no communications from girls
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > no communications from girls       08-12-2012 12:23 PM
In our case my wife would do all the communicating and we usually played with single guys so it was just natural. In the case of couples, most couple we experience, the guy, is a little more assertive than the woman in the couple, and in our case, my wife was the more assertive on communicating, so it worked out the way you describe. I personally dont have much interest in chat and "leading up" and all that stuff even though its a necessary part. Plus working 90 hours a week, I just dont have the time. I like to get a brief summary and get told when to show up. Im much more random and spontaneous than most. So a long chat actually does the opposite for me, I lose interest.
Best way to get things going
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > Best way to get things going       08-12-2012 12:09 PM
That does limit things. Even though almost all the guys who emailed us for bi play listed as straight. If we did a search we would only contact guys listed as bi. Even though we knkw that most "straight listed" guys would be interested. We just wanted to be repectful of their profile wishes. I guess my experience was different here when i had a single profile. I listed as straight......no emails. I changed it to bi....bunch of emails... So i dont see the downside to listing as bi.
Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Is it ever OK to be rude in your response       08-04-2012 11:31 AM
We've had the opposite too. Emails to her like i dont even exist. Itz like.....hellloooo? Did you miss the bi couple part? Thanks for the nice words how hot she is and you cant wait to meet her. Hope its not a surprise when she takes my dick out of her mouth and puts it in yours. Ahhh......missed that little piece of info huh? Lol
Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Is it ever OK to be rude in your response       08-04-2012 11:31 AM
We've had the opposite too. Emails to her like i dont even exist. Itz like.....hellloooo? Did you miss the bi couple part? Thanks for the nice words how hot she is and you cant wait to meet her. Hope its not a surprise when she takes my dick out of her mouth and puts it in yours. Ahhh......missed that little piece of info huh? Lol
Standards too high What to do
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Standards too high What to do       07-30-2012 13:47 PM
4 out of 5 couple WE turn down is because the my wife finds the woman too attractive...lol
Is it ever OK to be rude in your response
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Is it ever OK to be rude in your response       07-30-2012 13:45 PM
Profile doesnt have anything right now. But it was very single male friendly.
bi males and honesty
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > bi males and honesty       07-30-2012 13:36 PM
We overlook the profile tags now and just make it clear in conversation what we are looking for. If in the end when we meet they were lying about their bi interest we have no problem showing the door. We will play with a straight guy, but thats not always what we are looking for, and usually not our first preference. So if someone says theyre ok with bi play then thats what we expect.
Wow, do we need to move
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Wow, do we need to move       07-27-2012 13:53 PM
Youre part of the 99% of the site competing for the 1%. To find a female without a male involved is more like finding a hay colored needle that could be in one of 100 haystacks in the field. Ha
Wives with Boyfriends
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Wives with Boyfriends       07-25-2012 07:40 AM
Im not a fan of bringing someone in on anything more than a purely sexual level. Some people can do it and it works. We had a bad experience bring a sm in too close so in our case it won't go beyond being an on call sex toy.
Paid vs Free
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Paid vs Free       07-24-2012 13:58 PM
Or just reverse what they are doing now. Allow them To view profiles but have to sign up to communicate.
Paid vs Free
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Paid vs Free       07-24-2012 13:55 PM
I will say that on another site we do not bother with free members I agree that free members should have some restrictions on any site obviously. But what really irritates me on the other site. They allow Free members to communicate But they do not allow them to view the profiles of the people they are communicating with. I get tired of answering the question" What are you guys looking for?" When we already laid it out in a 2000 word profile. Personally instead of offering the free restricted membership I would rather them offer a full access trial period. I think that would do more to increase membership.
Paid vs Free
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Paid vs Free       07-23-2012 23:54 PM
After years on here. Until you brought this up, i dont think i have ever noticed who was paid or free
Who pays for room
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for room       07-23-2012 14:04 PM
Oh. And i cant tell you how many times ive made this stupid mistake knowing better. Dont get a room before youre both physically there. Since i can be pretty spontaneous ive jumped on the "lets skip dinner and get to business" dates before. And ive ended up paying for rooms that never got used.
Who pays for room
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > Who pays for room       07-23-2012 14:00 PM
My personal opinion. If we meet a single guy. We usually pay for the simple fact they usually complain off the bat they are broke. But its nice if they offer and we wont turn it down. But dont expect it. Couples prolly should split. Thats fair. If im meeting a couple. I have no problem and offer to pay. If my wife is playing alone. Call it just plain arrogance on my part but if she comes home with a hotel bill on the credit card or expends any money for the evening i would be pissed. If youre going to have sex with my wife, it better not cost ME money....lol
Straight wife with Bi Curious Husbands
FORUMS > The Bi Sexual Swinger > Bi Couples > Straight wife with Bi Curious Husbands       07-22-2012 00:15 AM
I much prefer playing as a couple but im going to venture off on my own again and hopefully i find some of those couples and groups myself..lol
CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > CHEATING MEN - Why dont you like them       07-22-2012 00:08 AM
Im about to take a crack at playing solo again myself. In my case someone could meet my wife in advance if they wanted to....there are people that really can play on their own. We're an example of that. As far as who i play with. To be honest i dont personally care. If they want to keep it a secret... fine with me. I dont have to sneak around so there is no risk on my part. They are a grown adult. If they make a decision to screw someone else and theyre going to do it anyway. Might as well be with me.
Best Ever
FORUMS > General Discussions > Senior Swingers > Best Ever       07-20-2012 10:36 AM
Going by your age. 69 isnt a big stretch for your wife and within her attraction. Hell i fully plan on my last day to be probably a viagra overdose during the group party at the nursing home..ha If the attraction ia there. Age doeant matter really. My wife has a cutoff around 35. But she has flirted and found friends of mine attractive and "doable" and suprise surprise when i say....hes 47.
My girlfriend is Bi only when
FORUMS > General Discussions > 3-Some > My girlfriend is Bi only when       07-18-2012 17:06 PM
I wouldnt get her drunk and then try to get her to do it. I guess it depends on to what extent you are talking. Sounds to me you should just leave it up to her. When my wife drinks. Not to the point of falling over, but just has a couple, she tends to get flirty and horny. And she also tends to want to play if someone is available. Given my situation, I dont mind one bit. But its a fine line. A few drinks and feeling good while still in control, but just loosened up is one thing. I take advantage of that myself. But if she goes beyond that point where she is drunk. Im the complete opposite. I wont let anyone near her or her near anyone else in that capacity because unless I dont want her doing anything that she would regret when she was sober. And as the husband, and always sober...lol, I have that responsibility. I like when she has a couple drinks for that reason. She is more in tune to the topic and she gets a little more courage to do something SHE wants. But I would never get her drunk to do something that "I" wanted.
FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question       07-17-2012 08:37 AM
Nah Still going to be swinging. Just going to let her set the pace for a bit. We've been hit and miss lately and have enough people we're talking to so leaving the novel of a profile up right now would be misleading
Rude behavior
FORUMS > Successful Swinging > First Contact > Rude behavior       07-16-2012 15:36 PM
And they can likely have her. I wont even touch them. Heck, sometimes I even like to just watch or be in the other room. But emailing and telling ME (the husband) their rules for me to abide by to play with MY wife. That dont fly.
How many couples are totally in it together
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > How many couples are totally in it together       07-16-2012 15:14 PM
To answer for others: We started out with couples and originally were one of those "no single men" couples ourselves. While we are still open to couples, my interest has faded mostly due to logistics and such. Like others have said, couples are many times mismatched in the "looks department" I dont mean this as arrogant, but my wife is really hot with a great body. Im a skinny average guy who is not fat at all but not a gym body and im hung to what i admit is average. Its hard to find couples to match in our age range. If a couple has a really hot, worked out, hung guy. Im intimidated because we are going to swap and shes not exactly upgrading. Same in the reverse. When we find couples where she is hot and fit and he is overweight and small. Then my wife gets the bad end. And with my wife looking the way she does, its hard for ME to be interested in a lot of others too. I cannot perform with someone who is overweight. So that rules out the hot guy with the bigger woman couples. Please understand I dont mean this as knocking myself. I have no problem with how I look, and have no self esteem problems. Im perfectly comfortable getting naked with anyone. But we have run across enough couples that once pics are exchanged have tried to get my wife alone. So Im a realist in saying someone who regularly has sex with a 9 incher attached to a gym body, is not going to jump all over me. With that said also, when I have played as a single, I was surprised at the action that I did get by myself, and was invited back to, with couples who in my opinion were quite up there on the hotness scale. But I think my experience, the fact that I dont look like I hit the ugly tree, and the fact that Im the one that actually is no BS and shows up is why I was "selected" and called back. Thats why I tell guys on the forums here to read, be real, respond, follow directions. Even if youre overweight, not hung or insecure. Ill be honest and say......I know I probably havent been peoples first choice. But after dealing with the BS, they get to me. And Im real. I show up. And I perform. IM TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT. Ive been laid many times in my life with women who I wondered how the heck I pulled that off. But hell, I dont care. I still dont know how I got a second date with my wife almost 10 years ago. With that said. You have to be at least close to a match. When a couple is looking for a young bi guy in my age range, slim or fit, and doesnt specify he NEEDS TO BE 13 INCHES. I fit that. So I would email. I am a match, if they look at the pics and decide they are attracted. But like I find silly here. I didnt waste time emailing people who were not even close to a match. We're a young couple with a hot fit young woman. And specified we were looking for a young (preferably bi) hung guy who was somewhat local and such. Not to be mean, but I never understood the endless supply of 45+ year old overweight, small hung, men who would email us. There are people for them too. Hell Ill probably be one in a few years myself. But why take the time to write to people who you already know wont be a match. In all these years Ive never seen a young hot, gym bodied couple post looking for "Balding, overweight, small endowed, hairy men, 25 years our senior" And thats not an insult to those men. What I HAVE seen is balding, overweight, small endowed, hairy men, 25 years our senior, with no shortage of recent certifications. So that gives me hope when I get there...haha
FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question       07-16-2012 14:52 PM
I didnt realize you could email off a search without opening the profile until today. So when I always said did they "read the profile" I had assumed that they at least skimmed it but just didnt pay attention. Now I realize they can email without opening it at all. So they really are cut and pasting. Im going to have some fun with this.
FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question       07-16-2012 10:52 AM
Make that 2 more since ive been online. Im tempted to change the profile to read. "We are both 450 pounds each with terrible body odor and no teeth" We are looking for a single guy to bring home to our house that contains 60 cats and no litterbox. Please be cool that we are hoarders and have the ability to climb. We have a neighbor with a really large penis with some nasty oozing rash on it, and our fantasy is to watch him do you bareback up the butt. Id love to do that. Then sit back and read the "Im soo into your profile" responses...haha
FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > FINALLY!! Answered the do people read profiles question       07-16-2012 10:46 AM
I opened the mailbox this morning and Im laughing. But I finally answered the question. And its a big fat NO!!!!!!!!!! Take a look at our updated profile. I changed it a couple days ago, since Ive decided to back off the swinging topic and leave it 100% up to her. Those who know me in here, know some of the little frustrations Ive had with her being so "hot and cold" so I decided to pull the plug and let her handle everything 100% on her own. So now our profile has no pics. And just a couple sentences that we are going inactive. Yet this morning, there are 7 emails (yes less than usual) but still 7 emails from guys asking to meet. And some even say. "Ive read your profile and think we will all get along great" "Im interested in your profile" So.........Youre interested in holding off on swinging, like we are???? Interesting, thanks for emailing to tell me that. So finally proof positive that many people dont read profiles and DO IN FACT use a cut and past email and email just off the "whos online" page and never actually open the profile.
How many couples are totally in it together
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > How many couples are totally in it together       07-15-2012 12:45 PM
"That killed plastic for the night" I have no idea what that means. or why its there...haha Well Ive been back and forth in the forums, complaining one minute, and then reporting a change the next day and again and again. Finally last night I decided to call it quits on my end. The reality is that we are not on the same page and it causes us problems. And we do have trouble communicating when it comes to talking about the subject. So I decided to just cool it on my end. My problem is that I get upset when she doesnt show the same desire with couple swinging as when she goes away and has certain encounters on her own. It took me a while to realize why, and that they are not really the same thing. The buildup, excitement, sneakyness, and passion that comes from an encounter like she will have away, is a totally different experience than as a couple coming online looking for an extra dick for the night. Its all the excitement and rush you get from an affair or "doing something wrong" except that in the end, she can tell me and have no negative consequences. In my world before. After telling me about a weekend like that, I expect her to be all revved up to go as a couple, and wonder why where not online with the same drive. And that would upset me. But again, I realize the two are not the same. She says she enjoys swinging and wants to do it. So Ive decided to just back right out of it and see what happens. I made our profiles "inactive" and Im just not going to bring the subject up. Now its totally up to her to bring it up or do anything with it, so we'll see what comes of it.