From what we have experienced attending clubs and functions for the most part the single men that have been there have been nothing but respectful. I believe its because they don't want to get a bad rap and know that most single men do. We recently attended a club and felt we were mauled by people there. It was a single guy night and not a single single guy was pushy or disrespectful. It was the couples. I don't agree that this lifestyle is just for couples and that any single granted the privilege should feel special. EVERYONE feels differently and likes different things. ElisabethsCrimsonKiss I totally agree with you. Not every couple in the lifestyle has been married years and years and decided to give this a shot. Craig and I were both singles on a swing site and met through there, fell in love, and continued in the lifestyle together. I know of singles who have been introduced by a couple they would play with and are planning on getting married now. Both of us as singles had experiences with couples and other singles. We are greatful to our friends that let us join in on the fun but this is an open lifestyle. Everyone sets their own rules and has their own wants and needs. There are couples that don't like to do the couple thing. They only want to add a single once in a while. When at a club the thing we find works best for us is to always stay at each other's side. From experience presenting ourselves as a team deters most pushy people. We look out for each other. Another thing we find that works is to just lightly mention to someone at the club that we (we do it as a joke) can't seem to get any space to breath and enjoy ourselves. We don't mention names but word travels fast within the circles of the club and we find that others will then let up. Craig and Zoe

There is a group called Private Parties that has a lot of theme parties in your area and S. Jersey. If you do a search you should be able to find the website.

I don't think its really single men that make clubs bad, but the single men willing to put up with the marginal treatment some club owners and patron give single men in general. Someone who doesn't care that they are ignored, put down, and treated with disinterest is likely to be disrespectful to others. Or they are very submissive. Neither is generally seen as attractive traits in a man. The three clubs that allow single men that I attended generally herd them into a single area and basically tell them to stay there, be quiet, and wait to be picked. Remember the playground and waiting to be picked for a team? Imagine now standing there all night, looking at everyone else playing and not even being able to say "when is my turn?" I didn't notice that when I used to go to clubs because I always had a partner, if not a girlfriend a close friend who took me along for moral support and help on the three or four hour drive home afterwards. Looking back, I was guilty of ignoring those guys at the bar in favor of someone's husband or boyfriend when B.W. wanted a DP or something. I guess, in my case, what goes around comes around.

Regarding single males in swinger clubs....one thing we've found works real well for our club is to keep the actual "socials" for couples and single females only...but to have 2 meet and greets each month at area strip clubs that are open to everyone. Seems to work out real well..both as a way for single males to be involved..and in general as just a good, fun cheap night out.

Obs, too bad my hubby wasn't alive, because you'd be playing with us. :) I know as once being a part of a couple everyone is different in what they're looking for....when I was married, we swapped twice. That didn't work out. So, since I'm not bi and never will be, we just decided to just continue with the MFM situation. And it's not just single men, that are disrespectful, couples can be too. Some cannot take no for an answer as well. I attended one party just last year, as a single straight female *aka the Endangered Species*, and had to tell one couple lotsssssss of times, to leave me alone, I wasn't interested. I myself get crap from people, because I'm not bi, and won't play with couples regardless. There's different variations in the Lifestyle, it's not a rule of thumb that it must be couples looking for couples only. I've seen plenty of singles meet at parties, and even later on down the road getting married. It's not just people that have already BEEN married, then start swinging. People have to start somewhere, right? :) But now being a single female, and looking for a single male to be partners with and such, where else am I going to look? Not in the vanilla world that's for sure. So I will always welcome single males, whether I'm single or not. I just wish the bashing of single men would stop (not saying anyone here has done it), but in general. Everyone needs to get along, be open minded, and free spirited :) I know to each their own, everyone has a preference. That's great :) My friend passed the question to me and others of what's the difference between a single man having sex with the wife, and a married/commited man? Only thing I see, is no ring on the finger. Hmm I don't know, I better stop now, don't wanna ruffle anyone's feathers.

As a single male i've enjoyed going to the clubs from time to time and if i have the cash as well. A few of the clubs i've attended have set limits on how many single men may attend so its really not an issue of the club making revinue off of us though $75.00 is rather costly. Yet it i have attended clubs where they try to screen you as best as possible and this i think helps out for the most part. Plus the idea of setting up the rule that as a single guy you must let single women or couples walk up and start conversations or ect is a very good rule. Since it allows single women and couples to feel comfortable and not be stalked by some Single Male. As for myself it is an honor being their in clubs or with couples and i think there are others maybe a few besides myself who understand this. So were not all bad, but i would say use your best judgement though and have a great night at the club !

Very well said Steve & Tracey...We agree hole heartedly!!!!!!

We agree, this is a lifestyle about US. WE do this because we enjoy it, as a couple. Respecting the limitations of others should always be concidered first priority.

Steve and Tracy, very well said. I could not stress it enough....we are in this for us....... Both of us ...... Gary and Mary

Something i think everybody should realize. I take the statement i am about to make to heart and i feel everyone should take a second and soak it in. This is a lifestyle that is mainly geared toward couples and is out of the norm of what society belives a relationship should be. I feel truly privileged that my relationship has the security and trust to particiopate in such a wonderful activity. I also should remind everyone that this is a lifestyle geared mostly towrds couples and that if a single person is invited to participate in it they should deem it an honor and a privilege. That they were invited into a situation to experince it with a couple. Its a privilege not a right. Steve and Tracy