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Listing as bi turns people off - How do you know : Swingers Discussion 47097101
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FORUMSThe Bi Sexual SwingerBi MalesListing as bi turns people off - How do you know
TOPIC: Listing as bi turns people off - How do you know
Created by: rbigger The original post for this thread was deleted.
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i am bi male and i get a lot of flack from couples here that they are afraid of me, put in yurn i get so many hits from so many so called str men wanting a blow job because there wife will not give them one, and so many woman want to see men sucking men as that is the last of the so called taboo left in swinging i guess. at least i am honsent about my sex and what i like and at my age what i can do without any hassle begacuse all the drugs i have to take to stay alive, sometime the equipment don't want to work, but my mouth is always able to work andi can bring off a lover be it female or male to there pleasure

Belmont NY
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I've been in the Lifestyle almost 20 years, 14 of them with a man (my late husband) who was bi. So I'm in a good position to tell you that there is unquestionably a bias against men who are "out" as being bisexual. All the reasons given are accurate. Some couples (rightly or wrongly) think bi men are more likely to have HIV. Some people are just turned off by the very thought that a man has had sex with other men. Sometimes that's the woman, but in my experience more often it's straight men who are very nervous about being around bisexual men. It's like they think subconsciously that it's going to rub off somehow.

We definitely got more replies when we posted profiles or ads where we didn't say my husband was bi. But he almost always chose to be upfront about it. Partly because he was just an honest, straightforward person. Partly because he believed strongly that the way to fight this particular prejudice is for men like him to be honest. He was 6-2, big and muscular, a college decathlete who stayed in good shape, not the slightest bit effeminate. This probably also made it easier for him in that he never had any worries that anyone would question his manhood; he was the kind of guy for whom that's just a joke.

In purely strategic terms, we would have had more responses from straight couples if he'd been dishonest. But the people we REALLY wanted to find were other bi couples and being upfront made that a lot more possible.

Springfield VA
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meanwhile, back at the topic... As we're said before here, you're more likely to get what you want if you make it clear up front what you're looking for. Yeah, we get fewer responses to our profile, but the ones we do get are closer to what we're seeking.

Weiner AR
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I find that I get many men e-mailing me with a bi interest when their profile lists "straight". When they are part of a couple, I ask if their partner knows of their bi interest and they usually say yes. I think it is just the fear of going "public" with their orientation. They think becoming known as bi closes some options.

Manlius NY
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i don't believe its fear that they will get turned down i believe its fear because they are not comfortable with their bi side and its fear that someone they know may find out that they are bi or have bi fantasies. for some reason in our society it seems very taboo to be comfortable with our sexuality. we have met several couples who post as the male str8 but in fact he is very bi. when we ask why we get two different answers one which we totally believe and understand is the fear that someone outside the lifestyle finds out that he is bi like a family member or someone at work. some jobs do have morals clauses which this life style of being bi or swinging is a serious violation against that clause. and than of course there is family matters and lets not forget religien aspects. i don't know if the company would win in court but the trouble of going through the process would ruin most peoples life so it would be easier just to say str8 and secretive. we seem to live two life one of the lifestyle where we have our "special" friends who know about us and how we like to play. and the other is our "responsible" life style were we try to live life to the moral standard, this seems more important if you have children. i always compare it to superman lol clark kent during the day but than superman at night lol

the 2nd answer is that when they post bi they get less responses. which we really don't know if that is true or not, we used to have a post on connection on line and we posted that we are both bi just like on here. do we get a lot of replies to the e-mail we send or from our ad? that a tough question we really have nothing to compare it too. would we like to have more replies lol hell ya lol but not only do we have to be compatible with our personalties but since we are dealing with sex we also must have some attraction to the other people we are planning on having sex with. so rather your profile says bi or str8 if the other person or people you are responding too or they are responding to you and there is no attraction than it really doesn't matter what sexuality you are.

lol i know i kinda babbled on for this and i really don't know if i was able to put down what i was thinking into what i have written i hope it makes a little bit of sense.

Mentor OH
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TOPIC: Listing as bi turns people off - How do you know