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Is honesty really the best policy : Swingers Discussion 34640101
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FORUMSThe Bi Sexual SwingerBi MalesIs honesty really the best policy
TOPIC: Is honesty really the best policy
Created by: navybiguy
Original Starting post for this thread:
For me it is. I posted my self as a bi male on my profile and it seems I have really limited my prospect value. I have been contacted my many "straight" guys trying to hook up behind their wifes back etc. But when I try to contact someone they see the "bi" and a huge red flag goes up. People dont seem to realize that Just because I am bi doesn't mean that Bi actions have to happen. I try to explain that I am willing to do what is agreed upon by all. I am not going to try to jump on a husband because I am bi. IF he wants that then he can let me know. I dont understand why couples looking for guys alienate me for being bi. Dave
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We totally understand the str8 post, but when you contact a bi-couple let them know up front you are bi and your preferences...

Webster NY
 
 
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I hear you dude. Yea, just because some is bi does not necessary means he/she is not picky! Am I right?

Mike!

San Diego CA
 
 
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Mark and DebbiHsv - You really hit the nail on the head!

Bryan TX
 
 
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Patogether sorry for the misinterpretation. We just like to meet people and have met more that we didn't sleep with then ones we ended up sleeping with. Some of that is due to the fact that we are not a meet and sleep couple and most just want to meet have dinner and jump in the sack. We even met one couple that we chatted with on here for a number of emails and made that point very clear. After dinner the guy says to us so are we going back to your place or getting a motel room. We said neither and excused ourselves.

Randy n Sherry

Boyertown PA
 
 
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bi_guy, I don't think patogether meant to be rude. You notice they indicated they avoid those profiles that say straight but bi-fem okay, as well. Sounds like their just looking for couples whose preference is straight MF or FM (FMF, MFM, etc.). They may feel they're second choice to a couple that lists as bi or curious.

Personally, we list as curious because we find that curious people are more relaxed and less inhibited. But straight play is perfectly fine with us and what we're mostly interested in. Primarily, we're interested in fun. If its fun, do it. If its not, don't. And always respect each other's limits.

Shingle Springs CA
 
 
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Patogether what do you mean by saying you don't like being second choice? I said nothing along those lines.

Randy

Boyertown PA
 
 
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Patogether what do you mean by saying you don't like being second choice? I said nothing along those lines.

Randy

Boyertown PA
 
 
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If you guys think it's hard to find a bi couple you should try to find another couple with a bi male and a str8 female. But that is what we our so that is how we list ourselves. We even state in our profile our male is bi but yours doesn't have to return it if hi's not comfortable with that. Honesty is still the best policy. We have had two single bi males but when it comes to giong out for dinner or drinks or camping, things like that, we perfer to do it with another couple then with a single male.

Randy n Sherry

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Snoopy, are you a fundamentally honest person? Honest with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, desires, insecurities? If so, you can feel other honest people. They just FEEL comfortable. By contrast, people that are not fundamentally honest feel uncomfortable.

I was on IM with a man from a couple on SLS and he was IMing his wife. Suddenly his wife IM'd me and asked to see my webcam. But she immediately turned hers on. It was G-rated, she said, because kids were in the house. But from the moment she started talking to me, I knew they were real and honest people. We'll be in bed with them sometime next week, I think.

On another occasion, someone IM'd me on here and asked to see our private pictures. Now, we have G-rated, full-face pictures on our profile but they had no public pictures, at all. I was already suspicious, them having asked for pictures basically before saying hello, so I said "you first". They refused. Clearly they were looking for pictures and that was all.

If you are an honest person and open yourself to the communication with a small dose of healthy scepticism, you can feel when they're being honest with you.

As far as the profiles being BS, there's an old saying: Believe about half of what you see and a quarter of what you hear and you just might not get taken. When it comes to websites or personals or anything in which people can say anything without being held to it, as they would in person, my experience has been that 90% of what they say is BS.

So, by my numbers, about 1 in 10 of the people you talk to online are people you might be interested in. Not the greatest ratio, I know, but it could be worse.

Shingle Springs CA
 
 
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From the amount of mail we get from so-called "straight" males proclaiming to be bi without their spouses knowledge, I would be more concerned to how many these types I had been exposed too, rather than the person who is honest about their orientation. Been in the lifestyle over 20 years and the couples where the male half is openly bi with his spouse and others, are far less likely to be out doing things they shouldn't. On the other side of the coin, guys that list as "straight" then sneak around to the other side are far more likely to run into the wrong individual.

Another observation for us anyway, is that when we hook up with another couple we tend to value that and stay with them. We've only partied with one other couple in the last 5 years, and they have only been with us, unless they have lied which is always possible, but with knowing them I think they're honest. In addition we were all tested before hand. That hardly puts us at higher risk than couples that are our notching the bedpost with new couples every weekend.

What cracks me up even more is to get an E-mail from one of those "straight" guys, then on top of it, they've got some derogatory statement in their profile regarding bi-males. I guess sometimes it's even more camouflage for that type. On the other hand, guys that are not into it need not be so fearful, and stop flattering themselves, I've never met another bi or curious male that takes liberties with another male without firsthand knowledge that its okay.

Rio Rancho NM
 
 
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TOPIC: Is honesty really the best policy