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FORUMS The Bi Sexual Swinger Bi Males Finding couples with bi-curious men why so difficult
TOPIC: Finding couples with bi-curious men why so difficult
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Hotbi, I made that post. Here it is.

"In 2006, Florida ranked second among states in the number of reported acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) cases. New York reported 5,495 (14%), followed by Florida with 4,932 cases (13%), then California with 3,960 cases (10%).and Texas with 2,998 cases (8%). Florida ranked fifth among the 38 states that reported human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) cases in 2006.

"We don't want to play with anyone from Florida. It's nothing personal but it's outside our comfort zone. The risk of disease is too high for us.

";-) "

My post was totally tongue in cheek. I had taken a post by by another member who was talking about how they did not wish to play with BiMales and changed a couple of the words; the point I was trying to make was this: play with whomever you like, avoid contact with whomever you don't, but don't imagine that you are significantly reducing your risk by doing so.

As we all know there are many males on here who are dishonest about their interest in other males. Yet the "no-bi-men" folks rely on how males self-identify. This does not guarantee that you'll never play with bi-males, only that you'll never play with *honest* ones.

There are many females in the lifestyle who engage in exactly the same behaviors (unprotected fellatio and anal sex with strangers or casual acquaintances) as bi males.

There are many males who self-identify as straight who engage in exactly these same activities as well (I know this because we have been propositioned by literally dozens of them).

There are many swingers who make no bones about engaging in unprotected sex with strangers or casual acquaintances.

There also are many swingers who say they require the use of condoms, but who also are known to play with couples who say they do not. Do these people *always* use condoms?

My point is that anytime you play, your play partners might be any of these people. Your play partners' last partner before you might have been any of them.

If you have sex with strangers or with casual acquaintances, there is no way you can ever know what level of risk you are accepting. The only sure way to reduce your risk is, before you play with anyone, to know who they are (not just who they say they are), how they play, and whom they play with. And then always use condoms.

Just because someone self-identifies as bi-male does not make him a greater risk per se. It is the activities a person engages in that creates risk, and bi-males have no monopoly on risky behavior.

Lineboro Cpo MD
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I find all the drama about bi males a bit bizarre. The stigma is ridiculous. We list Jack as straight, because basically, he is. When you consider that 99.8% of the sexual experiences in his life have been with women, it's a bit of a stretch to call oneself "bi" because of the 0.2%.

We do say in our profile that we aren't opposed to a little M/M oral activity when we meet a couple or a single male, which is as far as we go. There is no more risk because a male mouth sucks a cock than a female mouth sucking a cock. Again, the stigma...

Nothing surprises me anymore though. I recall reading a post on this site awhile back in which the poster stated they don't swing with anyone from Florida (because Florida is the state with the highest incidences of aids). Alas, irrational assessments of risk abound...

Westminster MA
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Who are you referring to?

Osterburg PA
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What crap! You dont list as bi or bi curious because you dont want to be turned down by those who dont care to have you as a playmate. You think you should be accepted but you dont care to give others the same respect. The problem is that some dont want to play with you because your bi or bi curious and that is thier right, just like its your right if you want to be bi or bi curious. But, it is never your right to lie and betray others just so you can be what you want.

Spring TX
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This has nothing to do with the topic but guys my age in our area of GA somehow got the term cock turned around and used it as slang for pussy. Weekends, we'd say something like "Let's go out and find some cock". Newcomers and visitors would instantly decline and we just thought they were not interested in wild women. I don't know what we would have done if one accepted and made a pass at one of us.

Hoover AL
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John. you're not the only one aware of that, far from it.

JandT, having grown up in a religeous community it didn't seem so strange then. A little extreme, perhaps, but there were many of similar mindset. I knew quite a few who couldn't/wouldn't sit three across in a pickup truck.

Osterburg PA
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I would say that about 7 or 8 out of 10 couples that contact us the male is listed as strait, and almost all of them don't want people to know that they been with a bi-couple so we never post any certs for each other for their fear that they would be labeled as bi also. there is one couple on here that constantly comes in the bi area and makes fun of bi's and talks about how dirty bi's males are and how the CDC says we are very high risk, and yet a couple they been with is one of those couples that contacted us and didn't want anyone to know they were bi. Go figure. so all the Bi bashers are actually hurting themselves by being so homophobic they keep bi-couples from coming out and they don't know who they are sleeping with. at least we bi couples already know who we are sleeping with.

Philadelphia PA
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there's huge stigma attached to bi males, even in the supposedly open minded swinging community. curious though, how many single and married "straight" guys contact us. not making judgements, it can be very difficult coming out.

Nutley NJ
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I worked with a guy with a similar attitude. He was married to his first & only sex partner, and he claimed he hadn't touched her pussy since the first time he fucked her, reason being his dick had been there, never ate her for the same reason. Claimed he never touched his own dick, ever. Of course the resident smart ass had to ask how he peed & washed. He said to pee he jus aimed, and washing he used two washcloths to provide enough barrier. Same smart ass asked him if his wife ever sucked him, he said if she ever tried to suck his dick he'd divorce her for being a lesbian. He said that his dick has been in her pussy, if she'd put her mouth where a pussy had been, she must be queer. That guy was about the most homophibic I ever met, well, at least in my pre swinging days.

Osterburg PA
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I worked with a guy that once announced at (a martini) lunch that any man that would eat a pussy would suck a dick. Well, we got him out of there alive and years later I was telling a girlfriend about it and she asked if it didn't bother me eating her, knowing she might have fucked a guy the night before. "You're putting you mouth where you know good and well lots of cocks have been". I guess I was bi before that but it stuck in my mind. How does a guy deny it when he knows he's licking up where other cocks have been? Also there is a term "passive bi" that means - basically - he doesn't suck but a male fondling and sucking him is ok. That is more appealing to me although "active" participation is definitely not out of the question. Depends on the guy. We'll see.

Hoover AL
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TOPIC: Finding couples with bi-curious men why so difficult