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complaint about bi-curious : Swingers Discussion 927181091
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FORUMSThe Bi Sexual SwingerBi Femalescomplaint about bi-curious
TOPIC: complaint about bi-curious
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That is where the problem lies because I also view bi-curious as mostly a one way situation, and normally not interested in those type encounters.

Maybe everyone should push for SLS to add a bi-friendly for those who love to give as much as receive, yet don't feel comfy with being bi. I'd still be looking for bi-fems personally, but it would be nice to have a term other than bi-curious for others to use.

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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I tend to think similarly. Frankly, I'm leaning towards just staying with women who are very openly bi (or at least "bi-curious" with a number of experiences). We've had so much fun with couples where the other woman also has experiences as opposed to yet again being some nervous woman's first time. I've had situations where I'm kissing a woman on a dance floor at a party and she seems to know what she's doing, then we all go back to a room and I find out it's her first time. I guess we all have a first time, but personally I'd just like a break from popping other women's "bi-girl cherry".

Manchester CT
 
 
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Never thought of using the bi-curious designation (rather than bi) to mean she enjoys full-on sex with women, but wouldn't want a woman as a life partner. Ironic, since so very few are here to find a life partner. (The vast majority of swingers avoid emotional strings & commitments.) After all, "bi" doesn't mean "lesbian". When I see "bi-curious" on a profile (if it's been around for any length of time) I usually take it to mean she will let me go down on her, but she likely won't reciprocate. It usually also means she is unsure and tentative about having sex with women. (Especially if there is nothing in the narrative to suggest otherwise.)

Pismo Beach CA
 
 
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Yes, Raven, understand that completely. My point and that of others here is about labels not being easy because they don't flesh out the story, as you just did in your post. For someone who is not 50/50, but still enjoys playing with women, as Tort has described, the label bi might not seem as right for them as it is for you. They may feel they are doing the bi label a disservice by claiming it for themselves when they don't feel 50/50 and feel they only could have a partner relationship with men. Say they feel 25% for women and 75% for men, what label would fit them best? I can understand their reasoning for choosing bi-curious.

Personally I feel using the bi label is fine if you enjoy playing with women no matter the level of bi you feel. Bi is inclusive and includes not just those who feel 50/50 toward women and men, but those who feel far more toward men than women yet enjoy playing with women. And using the bi-curious label is fine too for those who feel less than 50/50. It's not the label that counts, it's the communication you use in playing.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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DandJ,

I am 50/50 into males and females. It took me years to realize I could have a female for a life partner just as easily as a male. I always looked at myself with males, and that mostly had to do with how I felt those that mattered around me saw me too. I have comes to terms with that and no longer see their opinions as an issue. It is the relationship that makes me happiest that matters in the end. I'm open to possibilities. My attraction to females is something that I have always been and always known, same as my attraction to males.

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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Well forest, if you are in the minority, then so are we. We are/were in the similar situation as you. She was curious when she first thought of being with a woman, but then the more she thought about it, the more she decided she was completely bi. The hubby in this situation had no interest at stake, either way. We are just as complete with or without this situation, but she wanted to explore what it would be like. A little while back she decided that she was and changed her's to fully bi, and recently she has gotten to have an oppertunity to be with a female, actually 2 different ones, and is positive she is. But there sometimes is a generalization to being bi-curious, and it doesn't always have to do with the husband wanting it. Sometimes woman just see another female and go wow I wouldn't mind getting a little of that to myself, and then again some try it and it isn't for them. Sometimes it is just a matter of trying it and seeing if it is for you.

Niles MI
 
 
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Once again the problem is with labels. None of us are labels and no label describes even a tiny portion of the being we are. Each person has very different definitions of what bi means. I like the Kinsey definition that is a scale of bi, a spectrum rather than a yes or no. He envisioned attraction to the same sex on a scale of one to ten, with five being evenly bi. In other words at five you are equally attracted to males and females. At one you are only attracted to the opposite sex, and at ten you are only attracted to the same sex.

So where are you? For me I'd say around 2.5, in that I'm definitely more attracted to women and would likely only form a relationship with a woman, but I do enjoy very much going down on both woman and men. Raven seems more a 5.

My love and I both list as bi because we've had some real amount of experience and feel more than just curious. That label says nothing about preferences in who of the same sex we find attractive. We all have preferences in attraction, whether they be picky or any and everyone. And we all have preferenced for both sexes.

Certainly if you're not willing to go down on a woman or a man, I'd say you're not bi and probably not bi curious. Enjoying only when the same sex goes down on you and not you on them, has less to do with your sexual preference than it does with your desire to be pleasured.

This is my opinion only and not a RULE. Your own opinion is what counts for you.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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men, men, men...most if not all want to see there female mate in bed with another woman. but after 10-20 times it grows old with them and all they want to do is get in on the action asap. just my opinion but I believe men want there wifes to be bi to bring another woman into the bedroom so he can enjoy a fmf.

Nazareth PA
 
 
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I haven't read the other responses yet, but actually think the very same thing why others list bi-curious on their profile. Some bounce back and forth so many times from straight, to bi curious to bi, and then straight again as well, that always leaves me scratching my head, but hey to each their own. The reason I list bicurious is very simple. I have not yet had a full blown bi experience solely with another woman. Most women that i have met in the past 6 years of being in the lifestyle, always claim bi or bi curious on their profiles but I have yet to actually meet one. Most are "show bi's" meaning exactly, they are not really into it, but will appease their partner to an extent. I don't consider kissing another woman, bi, not in the least but quite a few I have met, well, that was very bi to them. Others I have met who claim to be "bi", well, let's just say I was way more "bi" with them and they honestly didn't seem bi at all. I know attraction is huge in my world of looking for females to experiment with in my sexuality, and maybe every time and every couple we have met of the woman being bi or bi curious, just didn't have that attraction for me, which I highly doubt. Our very first experiences in the lifestyle are the only exceptions where the woman was truly bi, but I was just beginning, and I thoroughly enjoyed those women. Since that time, well over 4 years, I haven't met one bi or truly bi curious woman.

Jan

Jerome PA
 
 
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Hi... Laura here. I'm new to these forums, but have been on SLS for a while. I have "bi-curious" on my profile because at this point I'm exactly that. Curious. I am VERY physically attracted to women... and the thought of being with a woman excites me beyond belief. I AM just as interested in performing oral sex on a woman as I am in having her "do" me... apparently unlike most "bi-curious" women. My question is, should I change my profile, or maybe include somewhere on there what the term means in my case? Since I haven't actually experienced sex with a woman, I hesitate to say bisexual.. but maybe I should.

Albertville AL
 
 
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TOPIC: complaint about bi-curious