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What does it mean to be Bi and married : Swingers Discussion 103207
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TOPIC: What does it mean to be Bi and married
Created by: sng2000
Original Starting post for this thread:
A few days ago I told a male friend of mine that I was bi. He is the first friend/family other then my husband that I've "come out" to. I don't even feel comfortable using that phrase. I felt good about being able to tell someone we know about this. I then told my husband about what I did and how I felt about it. We have had some playtime with some people we've met. However I never told my husband that I had the need to talk to someone else about being bi other then him.

I guess what's puzzling me now are the questions that my husband asked about which are do I "need" to have a female in my life even if it's every once in awhile to feel like my "needs" are taken care of? Or can I go the rest of my life not being with another woman again? How can I be Bi and be married to a man? If I were to be with just my husband for the rest of my life, I would be very happy. I told him that I would still miss being with a woman. How do everyone else who may be in this situation deal with this issue?

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Hi, I am the wife, and I have liked guys and girls for as long as I can remember. My husband, like a lot of men, like that I enjoy sex with a woman. He has been understanding that there is just that extra something that is soft, unique and really hard to explain about me having sex with another woman. If anything me being bi makes for an interesting relationship; in that he has me and sometimes another woman and I'm ok with it. (As long as he shares!!! :0) )

Alamogordo NM
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It really is pretty special to share in her self-discovery. For years it bothered me to sense that that she was always holding something back. Now she is enjoying life so much more. A few nights ago she said she just felt wonderful, like a huge weight had been lifted. She's still a "good girl", just with a little secret sauciness inside.

Rolesville NC
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Thats a beautiful post and I am happy for your wife! Unfortunately her past is alot like many, many women. My personal opinion about being a "good girl" is merely a means of keeping women under control. I despise it. Like your wife and so many women (funny how not many boys are raised with these prisons) I was raised to be a "good girl"....catholic. What a crock of bullshit.


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We are dealing with it by talking about it, looking for opportunities to socialize with supportive people, and exploring the lifestyle.

We were married in our early 20', and came from a repressive religious background. For a long time she lived with a sense of guilt and kept quiet about it. It was completely taboo, morally wrong, yada yada yada. After a year or so I started picking up signals, but it was quite a while before either of us were ready and able to understand why she acted so repressed, and got depressed.

After 24 years we drifted then ran away from any connection to that repressive religious past. She was able to let go of her fears and realize there was just no reason to feel guilty, after a LOT of intimate discussion. It was like a veil being lifted.

Rolesville NC
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For me, being bi sexual isn't something I need to reconcile with my marriage. I don't fret about it, nor do I even think about it all the time. I'm not the type that is looking for a girl to have a relationship with, but I have been known to play alone with girls many times. I guess I view my bi sexuality almost like another toy!

Panama City Beach FL
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what's with scoring a 4

Middleburgh NY
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I am 43 and when I was young I knew NO one who was gay let alone bisexual . Girls in college did not experiment , at least none that I knew . I married my husband when I was 23 and we are very happy but in my 30's I bought him a subscription to a porn channel and we enjoyed watching girl-girl porn together. He eventually caught on and helped me to realize I was also attracted to women . Because of this we eventually entered the lifestyle . I tend to get very caught up in the moment and have full swapped with other couples and enjoyed it but truly we are in it for girl time. Many lifestylers take offense to that and call us dishonest but where does a married woman go to satisfy these desires? Unicorns are hard to come by and (call me judgmental ) - fit , attractive unicorns even more so . I can go the rest of my life without "girl time" but I do miss it . Could I marry a woman if anything happened to my husband ? I don't know I have always had closer emotional relationships with men . Just try to enjoy your life and keep looking for your ultimate desires , that's all anyone can do . BTW I scored 4 also )

Allentown PA
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I'm not one for trolling the forums usually, but this topic caught my eye and pulled on a few heart strings for me. I've been a Bi female since early high school, and while it was easy enough for me to avoid the official 'coming out' topic by hanging with the guys and keeping very few close female friends. It also made it a bit difficult to open up about it later on down the road. So, at least you've opened up about it - consider that step one!

Once I was out on my own and able to explore my sexuality, I realized that men are fulfilling, but women are alluring. I admitted to myself that I liked girls in more then just a passing fancy but found it hard to pick up chicks in the middle of a testosterone cloud. Unless your playing wing-man for a male friend and even that does nothing for me but get him laid.

Then I had a great one-night stand with a guy that I never thought I would see again. Until he called and invited me out to a strip club with him and some friends. Needless to say I got more attention that night then the boys did and it made me realize that being bi wasn't an issue with this guy. So I changed my status on a popular social site to Bisexual and quickly lost a good number of friends when they realized that I was serious. They all thought the new guy was a bad influence on me, not knowing that I'd been thinking about how their tits would feel since 10th grade. I even had one of his ex's write a blog pointing a finger and asking the same question you are. We later got married, and started swinging, and I quickly learned the difference between girls that are bisexual and bi-friendly. We've also moved to a rather small town in a new state and again I find it hard to be open about my proclivities to my new friends.

Long story short I agree with Simbaxxx. I love the feel of a woman and sometimes find that I have this carnal need to touch and lick and taste like only a man (or another bi chick) could understand. But I love the cock too much to ever be a full on lesbian. I like toys but the real thing is just too fulfilling to me. Your hubby should get that he makes you happy enough to say "I DO" and mean it, but every now and again it's fun to say "we do" and share a nice pussy too.

Lafayette IN
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I've been bi all my life... so when I married he knew about it as we were both swingers at the time and continued in the lifestyle. So I guess that's the easy road...

However I don't see a problem if both are in the lifestyle... as both can play with others. You as a woman can play with both men and women and he probably can play with women.

If your hubby is NOT in the lifestyle, that situation may pose a problem with jealousy, etc. It's a thorny situation... but as a woman I simply could never live my life without playing with other women I find attractive and who turn me on... So a man in my life would have to understand that. No choices here...

Michelle

Sekiu WA
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I am Bi I did the grid I read about in the past post and I am at a 4. I love my hubby and do not ever plan on leaving him but at the same time I miss the touch of a women badly. I have been trying to find a "girlfriend" that I could play with every now and again to fully fulfill my needs. My hubby completely understands my sexuality and accepts it fully. He loves that I am Bi and we check out women together but at the same time it is really hard to find a women for me to have fun with when I am married with kids. Most women out there that are Bi or lesbian are looking for something a little more then just a play date every now and again. Or at least that is what it is like around me. It is hard and I am almost going crazy wanting to feel the touch a women gives. I have even tried to get my husband to be a little more "submissive" (if you get where I am going) but he wouldn't go for that one. **laugh out loud** I guess we haven't completely worked the whole thing out and we are having our own problems with it but I think it is all going to be a work in progress thing. I just need to find a female play mate soon. **shakes in the corner weeping for a women's touch**

Adrian MI
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TOPIC: What does it mean to be Bi and married