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Pleasing a lady : Swingers Discussion 34485
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FORUMSThe Bi Sexual SwingerBi FemalesPleasing a lady
TOPIC: Pleasing a lady
Created by: noname726
Original Starting post for this thread:
I have read comments by a number of ladies that a man cannot please them as well as a lady can. would any of you care to go into greater detail on that? Is it that we men don't take enough time, or won't ask directions, or is it something physical? I would appreciate your comments.

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"I prefer to please in those situations, take my time, explore, pretty much everything you say, when with a woman."

That's wonderful. It doesn't make you a woman. It makes you a sensitive guy. FF sex is not a group of acts that can be learned, ways of being/touching/acting that can be copied. Nor is it something a bi-situational, liquid lesbian, bi while swinging only chick can copy.

Bi-FF sex comes from the heart and mind out. It's about energy exchange. Wallowing in another's being. as an equal..dancing. The Vulcan mind meld..if you will.

A man can't replace a woman. A woman (w/strapon) can't replace a man. That's what bisexual means when I use it.

I'm surprised you didn't dismiss my generality as not applying to your specific situation. I find it interesting you needed to clarify that you don't belong to that group.

Have I been judged? You betcha. Not for what you think. Most folks accept homosexuality, cheating with men (having bfs while married). What gets me the most grief? When people (non-swingers) find out I don't cheat. I'm honest with my husband. That he has met my friends. Bottom line. It's OK to cheat. Polyamoury is a huge NO-No. Causes them to foam at the mouth..

Oh...and then...mention BDSM in swinger circles..Ha! Damn good thing I've learned to blow off all that doesn't apply including generalities about bi women and BDSM.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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Male part of cpl:

It is a generality. It's correct. I'm referring to swinging and "normal" marital situations. I know men who don't fit that mold. Yes, I've stayed in bed with a man all day long. It was a LONG time ago. 20+ years ago. That's one reason I like BDSM.. BDSM is ritualized, prolonged, foreplay.

In general, I tend to stay in bed with ladies that I click with.. for a very quick 3 hours at a time. That time flies. I have and can do quickies..20 minutes.. or so.

In general, MF play is about +/- 15 minutes. That means some are less and some are more. I stand by my statement. That, over the long run, MF play is much shorter than FF play. See my post on stopping at the beginning.. Let's face it. In general, most guys.. stop being sexual after their orgasm.

That het male time table is not an insult. Very simply, I can't fuck for hours. It bores me. Men are immediate in their need. "It" forces you to deal with it. Women are more subtle, there is no rush. Besides, my first orgasm is merely the jumping off point.

I'm rambling. I'm glad you don't fit the mold. Many don't. Cool. Did I answer your question?

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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It's apples and oranges. Vixen does a great job of describing the differences. It's not all about oral sex technique. It's not about oral sex at all. Nor is it about intercourse. It's about:

-Attention. Giving and paying attention to detail

-Time. No, 15 minute heterosexual, male time table.

-Touch. Going everywhere. No quickly getting to the "real". Want to piss me off? Focus in my nipples and genitals.

-Clothing. Removing it slowly, Leaving it on. Using it to alter the touch sensation. Sex doesn't need to be naked. Try running the buttons of your shirt (that you normally discard) along her nipples. Catching each button, in turn, on her.

Stop her when she peels her shirt over her head. This is light bondage. Arms are up out of the way. Blindfolded..by her shirt...

-Looks. Watch her--watching you. Connect. You don't need to know her name to connect. Triples the fun.

-Talk. Whisper niceties in her ear. How soft her skin is. How she looks. What you like..her hair...don't use words like pussy..etc. Whisper questions..to get/give feedback. More? Less? softer? harder.

-Awareness. Of: her, surroundings, mood, energy level changes.

Women do many things with other women. Most of all we pay attention to the other, molding ourselves to her, she to us, developing a dance, practicing it.

I love men. I have several in my life. But women are the icing, the core, the thing that allows me to enjoy men for what they are. I don't want my gentlemen lovers to become women. I merely sometimes wish they understood my needs better. Sigh..it's seems they are hard wired to be they way they are.

Mischief....

Glen Burnie MD
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LOL Well as my englinsh prof. has pointed out. (my hubby) I have not used the right words or I didnt complete my sentence's. Oh well surely if you read it you will get the jest of it.............lol. sorry for the non-writing abilities and non-spelling. lol

Aurora MO
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That question really is't fair. (now dont get mad at me) I mean thats like asking a bi male do i suck dick better then your male friend. lol No seriously i think that you do have to communicate with each other. Im sure they're men out there who think some ladies dont know how to suck. So there for he might try to tell them how. If it hurts your feelings thats crazy cause females know that if someone aint eating you right then you just aint going to let them eat all night. You are going to say something or be a little afraid for them to go down. Some people say a woman knows what a woman wants but do they really? I think a woman knows hows she wants her's ate so there for she is going to eat it that way. Alot of times it may depend on the situation and mood they are in. I know that i have never had anyone person eat it the same everytime so just about all the time that someone its mine IT'S ALL GOOD.:)

Aurora MO
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I admire your determination Vixen :D

I also stand by my post in another topic: COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!

Be it male or female partner, how are they going to know if you like it unless you inform them?

Hattiesburg MS
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Vixen, Thanks for taking time to reply, I appreciate your thoughts. Any other ladies want to chime in?? Here's a guys who asks directions, I thought thats what you all want?

Yukon OK
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Ok...This is a complicated question..and my answer will not be as straightforward as you might have been looking for.

I can only answer from my own experience...and in my case, I am bisexual right down the middle. I am most happy when I can have my cake..AND my pie, though not necessarily at the same time.

I get very different things from being with a man and from being with a woman. Sex with a man is about contrast...rough against smooth...hard against soft...a primal and driving experience that involves the woman allowing the man into herself...literally opening herself to him.

Being with a woman is a meeting of equals..soft and smooth against same. A woman has the same parts, obviously, as her female lover. If she knows how to please herself..and is familiar with how a touch will feel to certain parts, she has an advantage in pleasing her female partner.

Does that mean a woman can ALWAYS please another woman better than a man? No. Absolutely not. There are some ladies who have barely looked at their own parts in the mirror..let alone have a clue what to do with them on another girl. Also, all women are different...so what might feel good for one woman may be too rough/soft/deep for another. Sometimes even bi females have to wing it.

As I said...I think women have the advantage when it comes to learning how to please another woman. But a man who communicates with his female partner..or watches her as she pleases herself, and learns where she touches and how she likes it...can be just as satisfying. Have your partner use your hand on her...find out how much pressure..and where.

Also, if the woman is bi, she obviously desires men as well. There are sensory things that a man provides that no girlfriend will satisfy...no strap-on will match.

But as I said...every woman is different....sometimes we all have to wing it.

~Vixen

((I'm really annoyed, because this will be my SECOND attempt at replying to this topic. The Forum told me I used unacceptable words ((??)) in my previous post...which was VERY long....and then it erased all of my text when I tried to see what was wrong. Let me try again....))

Harrisburg PA
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I have read comments by a number of ladies that a man cannot please them as well as a lady can. would any of you care to go into greater detail on that? Is it that we men don't take enough time, or won't ask directions, or is it something physical? I would appreciate your comments.

Yukon OK
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(8 posts)
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TOPIC: Pleasing a lady