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Gender Roles at Swing Clubs : Swingers Discussion 57605
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TOPIC: Gender Roles at Swing Clubs
Created by: Dooode The original post for this thread was deleted.
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The ones that succeed in playing with me are self-confident and the chemistry is there. Some of the single men are hoping they'll get lucky with whoever will spread their legs and that is their intent; then there are other single men that are looking for a mate/long term playmate. Where is the right or wrong in either statement? Personally I'd like to see the ratio of males and females to be 50/50... equal number of single men to single women. I enjoy going to on-premise swing clubs because that is the only place I honestly feel comfortable with the idea of a 'one night stand'.

Gulf Shores AL
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Even though this is an 'old' topic (33days) I had to say.... Men definitely have a tough row -to-hoe when it comes to swing clubs hetro or otherwise. How are they supposed to behave without being mistaken for a 'masher'? My hubby generally lives for the slow songs so he can invite a lady (who has been smiling, winking, chatting) to dance and cuddle a bit and see if she and partner are interested in us. He also likes the meet-n-greet mixer dances so he can chat with the new-comers, etc. I try to smile at and ask-to-dance the men that most women pay little or no attention to...WOW! I have met some totally awesome men and hubby is much happier when the women are a little 'forward' with the men. It really isn't necessary to go overboard but it IS very helpful to say "hi'....feels much less insulting than "fuck-off" later...lol. Mrs.2tot

Lewisburg PA
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Renee - "strange eyes?" From what I can see you do have beautiful eyes but what really sets them off is your eyebrows and how you can arch them. You have perfect eyebrows and they really frame your eyes! I have a terrible problem in locking eye contact with men or women very long. I can in normal conversation but when it comes to sex or flirting...forget it. Can't do it. If I lock on for more than about 10 seconds I can "feel" them and thats extremely unsettling to me...and very intimate so I can't go there. Those rare occassions anyone has commented on my eyes its always been along the lines of "your eyes are burning a hole through me".....and thats exactly how THEY feel to me....they are burning a hole in to me!

Well... now that you are prepared for married men to approach you under those same conditions...it won' t happen!! LOL!!! I don't think I have ever encountered it because most men are afraid of me (for some unknown reason). Before I was married it was hell getting a date!!! Maybe its the vibes I give off....LOL!!!!!

Mountain Ranch CA
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simba thank you........all of them have seen me with my hubby....he was sitting watching some porn at the time :)..........that is why it bugged me so, they know who he is, and i felt that they all waited until wifey and my hubby was out of sight so to speak.........i have done what you said to other women, and single guys, it never occurred to me nor was i expecting any of that so i guess i was a little dumbstruck, speechless. at least if it happens again i won't be so caught off guard......but that is the reason i have such issues with men, and sometimes women, i swear i stupefy them with my eyes :) and i have heard everything. last night a girl asked me if i had insight? witchful tactics, since you are more into eastern views i think you know what i am saying......i asked her why and she said i had strange eyes.....sigh.......oh well, maybe some will get past my eyes, i guess i mesmerized them, and see the rest of me........thanks again simba.......renee

Coleman TX
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Renee where was you husband during these encounters? Did these men maybe think you were single and alone upon their initial contact? Since you were attracted to all of them.... what do you think would have happened if you had said to him "Well I'm attracted you so why don't you go get your wife and bring her over her so all of us can get to know each other better because we don't play separate.." What do you think his reaction would have been? Unfortunately... I have never had a married male to this tactic to me.... so for it to happen to you so often I'm wondering if your husband is right there next to you.

Mountain Ranch CA
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ok flirty maybe i am just ignorant to the male cause :) i will be more specific and maybe some words of wisdom will come about......... last weekend a married male approached me, told me what sexy eyes i have, grabbed my butt and attempted to make out with me. i told him thank you about the eyes thing and proceeded to tell him that i thought his wife was very pretty. he said thanks and then said i would really like to go to one of the rooms with you. i told him that we never play alone, and walked away.....this was done in 3 accidental bump intos on the way to the restroom. i have seen him several times before and we have made eye contact before as well. so why didn't he introduce me to the wife or something? if we were both single i would have taken him up on the offer. single guys have done almost the same thing before, but i didn't find this to be offensive, hey they are trying, but why do the married men go this route? and to make things worse, he was the third married guy to do this that evening. not one single guy approached me that night. the sad thing is, i found all three men attractive, which is difficult for me, and their wives were attractive as well. how often does that happen......lol..... so is there something i am missing or am i right in saying that some men are just pigs and really don't respect any women? what opinions do others have? renee

Coleman TX
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there's a difference between an aggressive man and a pig......yes men should be more assertive, but to grope and not initiate anything but groping sucks..........after a grope i will mention their wife, i.e. i have a hubby hey let the four of us chat and grope......it just seems too one on one for me when a man is aggressive.....when a woman is aggressive she eventually remembers there are two others around.....now this opinion only pertains to couples. single men can be as aggressive as they want to be, i never forget my hubby, and we decide together if we play or not as a team. i pick our potential playmates, then i expect the men to be aggressive. my hubby is very passive until a potential playmate(s) is picked, then he is much more assertive. so perhaps others do it that way too? renee

Coleman TX
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I think we ladies are our own worst enemies. We bitch, moan and complain that the men are not foward and aggressive enough to approach us...so we have to approach each other (girls/girls) and yet when a man does approach and compliment and pursue we immediately think he is a stalker or a dink. We can't have it both ways. I would love women to be more "forgiving" of the foward man and give him a chance..... it's hard for them to sit on the fence. There're damned if the do and damned if the don't. I feel bad for guys.....and I admit I do it too.... I love an aggressive man but as soon as one comes up and starts feeding me the lines I do have to repress my initial "back off" alerts and consciously make an effort to allow him to pursue and not pre judge him in anyway. Poor guys!!

Mountain Ranch CA
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TOPIC: Gender Roles at Swing Clubs