should i tell her or not : Swingers Discussion 175187

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TOPIC: should i tell her or not

Created by: john7361 Original Starting post for this thread:
I wonder how many man are slightly bi-curious, but fear telling their wife or long time girlfriend that they are curious. I know before i told my wife, i always thought she would think less of me or thought of me as less of a man because i was bi-curious, or how would she act to see me with another man. Since i had had a sexual experience with a bi-couple before we met, but i never told her for the reasons above. eventually as we got into swinging i decided to tell her, and found out that she is all for it because she really loves to see me happy and having fun, for the same reason i love watching her with others while we are together with another couple. I also can see where a man may be Bi-curious but learned over the years that his wife thinks its disgusting to see to men together and so never told his wife of his fantasies. i know communication is the key, but communication with your partner can also be disheartening if you were expecting a different answer from your spouse. I'm sure it also happens with a woman who loves to watch two men but know for a fact that her husband very strait. and so would never ask this of him. I was just curious how most people thought(men and women) before they told their spouse their Bi desires.

Created by: john7361
Original Starting post for this thread:

I wonder how many man are slightly bi-curious, but fear telling their wife or long time girlfriend that they are curious.
I know before i told my wife, i always thought she would think less of me or thought of me as less of a man because i was bi-curious, or how would she act to see me with another man.
Since i had had a sexual experience with a bi-couple before we met, but i never told her for the reasons above.
eventually as we got into swinging i decided to tell her, and found out that she is all for it because she really loves to see me happy and having fun, for the same reason i love watching her with others while we are together with another couple.

I also can see where a man may be Bi-curious but learned over the years that his wife thinks its disgusting to see to men together and so never told his wife of his fantasies.
i know communication is the key, but communication with your partner can also be disheartening if you were expecting a different answer from your spouse.

I'm sure it also happens with a woman who loves to watch two men but know for a fact that her husband very strait. and so would never ask this of him.

I was just curious how most people thought(men and women) before they told their spouse their Bi desires.

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User Details are only visible to members.	bi all means tell her. i kept it from my wife for 17 years even though she clams to have known. she told me had you said something sooner just imagine all the fun we would have had
Kingman AZ			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Being open and honest is what it's all about. I can't imagine my wife not knowing that I'm bi. Well, actually I can -- my ex-wife didn't know and you can imagine how that went.
Westminster MD			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	What it boils down too is how much do you enjoy this aspect of your life or is it even an aspect of your life? For me... Yeah I enjoy it and have had a great time playing on the bi side of the tracks but if it never happens again... I'm fine with that too. Would it be worth outing myself to a woman who I don't think would be into it? Nope. Not even close.I'm dating one now that I don't think would understand it but things are going really well so am I going to push the issue. Nah. Not worth it to me. And if things work out with us, and I have had my last bi experience... I'm still gonna be a happy man.
Fort Worth TX			Username hidden (62 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I can attest to that Chuck! Love you guys
Federalsburg MD			Username hidden (298 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	If I had not opened up to Cin about my bi desires, we would have missed out on a lot of fun times. Least of which we would have not met the great people we have. Open up and tell her how you really feel. You may be greatly surprised at her reaction. I know I was with Cin's, what a wild night that was!!!!!!
Easton MD			Username hidden (31 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hmmm, I would ask if your relationship was based on sex? For most of us it wasn't! There are a lot of things that draw couples together and risking that after the fact isn't always the best answer. Fortunately for us we do enjoy being bi but I wouldn't suggest to anyone to risk the love of their lives just to possibly fulfill a fantasy. I know a strong relationship should be able to endure but I would never council someone else to take that risk nor would I say they are hiding their true personality from the ones who they love. If it works for you fine but I caution those that are unsure to tread lightly. Its not for everyone, just like swinging in general.
Carrollton VA			Username hidden (166 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Really!! If your spouse, or significant other, doesn't know what trips your trigger, you really aren't that close. They probably already know, and open communication could only make things better. But hey, if living with your desires bottle up inside is your thing, go with it. sorry!
San Diego CA			Username hidden (98 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	That’s a difficult question. I am honest about my sexual orientation (except to my mother). As most all who’ve done it would agree, coming out is a liberating experience – definitely made my life better, and lowered my blood pressure. On the other hand, I have a friend who’s afraid that his wife will leave him if he tells her about his bi desires. Would he be better off if he lost his wife? The poor guy is in a real bind.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (178 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well that depends a great deal on YOUR character. Does hiding things from the one person in the world MATTER to you, Or come easy? Be open, Be Honest... Does your previous experience mean anything? That depends on your desire to CONTINUE to pursue your Bi leanings. Also ask yourself , if the shoe was on the other foot, and it was your WIFE that had bi desires, would you want to know?
Pine Bush NY			Username hidden (28 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I wonder how many man are slightly bi-curious, but fear telling their wife or long time girlfriend that they are curious. I know before i told my wife, i always thought she would think less of me or thought of me as less of a man because i was bi-curious, or how would she act to see me with another man. Since i had had a sexual experience with a bi-couple before we met, but i never told her for the reasons above. eventually as we got into swinging i decided to tell her, and found out that she is all for it because she really loves to see me happy and having fun, for the same reason i love watching her with others while we are together with another couple. I also can see where a man may be Bi-curious but learned over the years that his wife thinks its disgusting to see to men together and so never told his wife of his fantasies. i know communication is the key, but communication with your partner can also be disheartening if you were expecting a different answer from your spouse. I'm sure it also happens with a woman who loves to watch two men but know for a fact that her husband very strait. and so would never ask this of him. I was just curious how most people thought(men and women) before they told their spouse their Bi desires.
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (2072 post)

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TOPIC: should i tell her or not

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