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new to bi sexuality testing the waters : Swingers Discussion 109565
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TOPIC: new to bi sexuality testing the waters
Created by: ohhboy46 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Tort...those are meant as 2 different thoughts.

Rochester NY
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I get more scared after reading shit like this.

*Then you should label as such.*

QFT

Rochester NY
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If you are looking to engage in bi swinging, your best bet is to post as bi.

Indianapolis IN
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Peggy & Kevin,

We do understand where you're coming from and find it very refreshing to see both of a couple list themselves as bi. But we also understand the hesitancy to do so. After all it is outing on a sitewide basis. And it can affect pre bi friendships, as we have experienced. To us it is more important to be accurate and we don't give a damn what others think, but not all of our friends feel so strongly.

We have met some nice couples listed as straight who enjoyed tastes off the straight and narrow. Yet they still considered themselves as straight and our interactions as something unique to our foursome.

Besides we've been in the discussions about the uselessness of labels, and bi is one of the most misunderstood and misused labels.

Thanks so much for your comments. They mean much to us.

Enosburg Falls VT
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DandJ:

Thanks but I believe you misread (at least) our intentions. If someone contacts us as str to play str, we have no problem with that. Its when someone llists str on their profile but contacts us saying they are *really* bi, then we normally do not meet with them.

We have many reasons, we listed only one. We would question their comfortability factor which is to us "attractive", we would question their honesty (when the first thing they tell us is that their profile is less than correct ... what else would they choose to hide like maritial status ...). It goes on and its just not worth all the efforts to find out.

Peggy and Kevin

Guerneville CA
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I have to respectfully disagree with two of our bi compatriots in this thread. People can be completely comfortable with themselves sexualy and simply not want bi. As a couple we have no problem with such people and not being bi with them. So we would never require bi in profiles in order to meet. And we've found a small share of those listing both bi who weren't that comfortable to be with.

As to the OP, many bi couples would be happy extending a helping hand in discussion and play to help you discover where your sexuality lies. Some who enjoy bi found that out early in their lives. Others warmed to it through sexual experience over the years. There is a whole lot of social programming to overcome in order to accept bi, especially for males. Sexual insecurities can magnify discomfort instilled by social programming.

Patience offers many rewards in learning one's sexuality. Some in the lifestyle aren't patient and want to get to the sex right away. Don't be pushed. You will meet those who will recoil as soon as you utter the words both bi, but that's their problem. Move on. It takes time to meet someone who is truly interested in discovery.

Enosburg Falls VT
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"..approach the idea of bi sexuality with a couple and not scare them off..."

We're a bit confused at that one.

Does it mean you would rather lie to a couple about your true feelings if they don't like bi-sexuals?

Or does it mean you would be fine playing with someone who doesn't appreciate you for your own sexual desires?

Or ... ? I guess we are just confused.

If they don't want to meet you for who you are, why would you want to meet them? Do you really find someone like that attractive?

And I think this question was really for the male half since you have been certed by three couples where the female is bi, I would think it would have been easy to explore female bi-sexuality with them.

Hornydevils and us have always seen eye-to-eye on this one. If you really don't want to put that label of "bi-curious" on your profile, figure at least 50% of the bi-(male) community (at least) will shut you out. And before you jump to a conclusion as to why that is, it is simple explanation. We want to meet with folks that are comfortable with themselves and their sexuality ... that is what is *really* attractive. Those that cannot express this are, well, not attractive to us. And that really applies to people, not just bisexuals -- going forward to meet someone you feel is attractive and sexy, without any lies/half-truths or anything else in the way.

Peggy and Kevin

Guerneville CA
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You can always look for a bi couple or single and let them know of your interests and curiousities. Chat for a bit, and if comfortable meet for a drink. Make sure the person is easygoing and not pushy before you get together for the real thing.

Hardy VA
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Excellent question:

For me, being bisexual is being attracted to the person first and what they have between their legs second. So it means I'm attracted to the person then the specific set of genitals they have.

I suggest you venture out the same way. Don't look for sex first. Look for PEOPLE who turn you on. Someone you would like to touch. Proceed very slowly. Don't get all hung up in what you would do, how you would do it. That stuff comes naturally. Don't drink to make it "easier".

For the lady, try dancing with women who attract you. If they move hard on you, explain that you are just starting out and want to move slowly. Be careful.

Many swinger chicks are play bi. They will move on you like a man would. Direct and straight to the "main three". These are the ones who will grab your tits and ass. Avoid them.

When in a group situation slowly move on the other. Make sure you feel comfortable before you go further. If "they" get mad that you won't go there. You have picked the wrong person. Never say yes in that situation. They are there for themselves...not you.

Regarding him. The general stuff I said about going slow applies here. The guys are best to answer it. But.. I believe men use eye contact to connect. He can repeatedly engage in eye contact to gauge the receptiveness of the other. Explain that you are totally new...and you require slow moves.

Become entirely versed in safer sexual practices of same sex couplings. The standard gay mantra. "On me, not IN me" is a good place to start. Consider getting lots of on-line info on safety info.

Remember Mischief's first rule. Play safe, Have FUN!!!

M.

Glen Burnie MD
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TOPIC: new to bi sexuality testing the waters