Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

FORUMS The Bi Sexual Swinger Bi Couples bi males and honesty
TOPIC: bi males and honesty
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Start   47 to 56 of 76   End
User Details are only visible to members.
I agree with everyone on all opposing sides here...haha

Personally when I had a single profile, I listed as bi. Started as straight and my inbox collected dust. Changed to bi, and got plenty of activity.

And personally I would rather play with a bi couple than a straight couple. So there was no downside to me listing like that.

Like I said, the profile listing used to be a deal killer.

But I now look at the profile tag as "What type of play are you primarily looking for"

If you are looking to play in the manner that the people you are contacting are looking for, your orientation listing is meaningless.

If a couple is looking for straight play and I want to play straight with them. There is no reason whatsoever that I need to say that Im bi. Completely useless information.

I dont disclose that in real life. I dont walk around with a t-shirt that says "Im bi" When I have the occasional "random girl encounter" or hookup, I dont tell a single girl.....By the way, Im bi..... So to me its not a big deal.

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Sweet, I think you said it best! There are so many people out there. You shouldn't have to lie to get some play. There are people who want to play with the real bi you. It just isnt everyone's cup of tea and you try to take away their choice when you lie about it.

Dallas TX
Username hidden
(12 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I see it as a personal preference. You don't like liars, don't meet with them. Simple!! Many who have said they are str8 and have become comfortable with the wife and I have tried oral bi and like it but don't want others to know. I'm fine with that because it's their life and their choices as it is mine to invite people to play or not. We both list honestly and wish all could, but I know for a fact there are too many hangups out there about it. Now the guy who can't tell his wife, that's different. He's living a lie and we don't want the drama.

Port St Lucie FL
Username hidden
(21 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
The larger issue was touched on in an earlier post and that is (at least in my opinion) a persistent homophobia within the "Life Style" community which to some extent mirrors non life style society. I for one will deal with the men who list as straight but turn out to be bi, but will encourage them to alter their listing. The claims that they will get "less action" can be argued by pointing out that they get far more if they come out. It is also up to each of us to try to make the change we would like to see. Things have changed to the extent that there are now a few bi male friendly parties and I see some gay couples listed on life style boards. Giving some other listing options might help as well. For example heteroflexible is one option as is pansexual. In the long run we must all do what we can to make being bi a comfortable, safe choice in the long style community.

Forest Knolls CA
Username hidden
(6 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.

Been there many times myself. I hear ya. Many playtimes have been cut short because of it.

We even tried the "guys meet first time then next time couple meets"

But the flip side to that, there are a lot of single guys who pose as couples and use that same line and that second meet never happens.

So i see where that policy would set off the BS alarm on their part too.

I now just find that making it a topic that gets discussed a lot and made VERY clear from the start works.

We just flat out say. "We're looking for you to play with BOTH of us and that is how we play. If we get the slightest feeling that you have other intentions, you will find yourself in a very uncomfortable embarrassing situation"

We make it so clear that we are aware of the bait and switch that it scares off anyone with those intentions in advance.

Otherwise if they werent bi when they showed up, they sure will be when they leave...lol

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
The contacts we have had normally start out with Straight guys saying that they are bi! It is just so that they can meet with the female only! No intentions of being bi! It has happened to us! So now It is a requirement that they prove the bi with me first! You would believe that most "Bi" guys will not do that! LOL!

Union NJ
Username hidden
(8 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Excellent post Joey

Osterburg PA
Username hidden
(430 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We've been hit or miss with the guys who say they are bi. Some are obviously bi - some obviously are not and were lying.

To answer your question, Joey "are we going to be compatible for the few hours we are together?"

If they are lying, we won't be. (in our case) It basically ruins our evening and wastes time/money.

And of course it is lying if their first email is "I know I am listed as straight but I am really bi." What else could that possibly be besides hiding from something?

So, for the few guys out there who really have to hide their true identity by listing themselves as straight, we sympathize. But the reason you have to hide is someone's homophobia. We feel for you, but we won't be taking part in perpetuating it so we won't be meeting you under this pretense.

For the guys who are using the "I'm really bi" line to try and get in with more couples -- we are taking a stand. We won't be meeting you either.

When it comes to the sheer number of single males, we aren't limiting our own play time and there is no other reasonable way of protecting our own investments (time and money in LS meetings).

Sure, there are lots of lies out there but we can control most of the others. We only play safe, so that one is covered (literally) and if a guy is married he isn't hurting anyone but his own relationship. The others are misrepresentation and that is taken care of on sight.

As we said before, this may only work for us and we are OK with that. We mention it only because there is a way to get rid of the stigma-- that being people need to realize just how many truly bi guys there are out there.

We will get there eventually.

Cedar Rapids IA
Username hidden
(73 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
To add to that. I dont feel its lying.

I am most interested in play with a couple. I am perfectly capable of playing straight. You would never know I was bi if i didnt tell you. I wont be chasing your man around the room trying to blow him if thats not what you want.

So what is the point in telling a straight couple that Im bi, if it will have absolutely no effect on how we play?

Im a contractor fulltime. I occasionally do towing also for a friends company.

When people ask what I do for a living, I tell them Im a contractor. Thats my primary job, thats what I do with 99% of my time. I dont tell them Im a "contractor who also runs a wrecker on occassion"

But if someone is looking for someone who can run a wrecker, I can step up and say "Hey, I can do that"

Most of the play im looking for is straight. If youre a couple that is looking for someone who is a little more flexible.....Well, "Hey, I can do that"

But if I represented myself as a tow truck driver......That would do nothing to benefit my contracting company. Its not relevant. Nobody is going to hire my company because I can drive a tow truck. And it may hurt me getting hired because people would think that the towing may interfere in what im being hired to do.

I also used to think "what else are they lying about" But I now put this in a separate category.

This lifestyle is full of lies.

Condom only couples who are anything but. Std free. Who have never been tested. Extremely active couples "new and testing the waters" Couples as singles Cheaters

You name it its here and in mass quantity.

Its a matter of how far are you going to dig into someone life and how well are you going to get to know them before you play?

Me. Im out for myself. Im in it for the sex. Im interested in the couple hours we are going to be together. I try my best to limit risks, try to avoid people I dont want, and play in a manner im likely to remain safe and ddfree. But the whole time knowing that mostly i can only go by what Im told.

If a guy presents himself as single. How many people really do a through investigation to confirm that? But if he says hes married and cheating, they will exclude him.

How many people require recent std results or just go on the profile saying "clean, ddfree"? We've never been asked for proof.

Most everyone goes by what is said on the profile. Thats just a fact. Most times honesty has the opposite effect. Its unfortunate.

A cheater will cheat. If he tells you hes single. He will get action. If hes honest and says hes cheating. He wont.

It may not be the "morally acceptable" thing to do. But again, Im selfish. Im not looking for a spouse, or a close friend. Im looking for a couple hours of fun.

So to me. The wife and kids at home, your problem, not mine. Im not hiding from my wife. So I cant get in trouble. So the risk is all on you.

My criteria is "Are we going to be compatible for the few hours we will be together?"

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
After spending time in the forums I have become much more tolerant of some people and their profiles.

I now understand why most bi guys list as straight and am not so quick to blast them over it.

I know how to, in advance, "scare off" straight guys who lie about being bi thinking we will overlook that when we play.

An honest email can overcome a single with a couple profile if it has to do with bi play. But dont approach as a couple then change it at the last minute.

Where I didnt before. I now feel there is a difference in what people advertise vs. what they email and im not so quick to get uptight about it.

I used to see listing as straight the same as "lying" until i realized that if you are only "situationally bi" and most of the play you want is straight, that you will be automatically excluded.

I feel if you are looking to play as a single though, at the very least have a single profile. It is still a turnoff to get emailed from "half a couple" That raises too many questions.

Is it a bait and switch? Is there really a couple? Does she know her private parts are all over the internet?

Would much rather get emailed by a "married and cheating" single profile than half a couple profile.

Personally if I were to play here as a single again. I would probably list as straight but while not talking bi, I would word the profile that I am VERY openminded and able to conform to the wishes of the couple. Then if I talked to a bi couple I would be open that Im bi. To others looking for straight play, Im an openminded straight guy.

Many will blast me for that. But I see no problem in presenting your profile in a manner to attract what you are looking for vs. being excluded because you can also adapt to other situations.

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Start   47 to 56 of 76   End
TOPIC: bi males and honesty