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FORUMS The Bi Sexual Swinger Bi Couples bi males and honesty
TOPIC: bi males and honesty
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--"bi males and honesty"

All Bi Males lie !

Did I just lie ?

Philadelphia PA
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I prefer to ask questions instead. I myself prefer not to play with most bi men. Yes. True.

The guys we play with are typically the "orally friendly" type. AKA straight. We both share his and they both share mine.

Zero additional risk having sex with ANY of us. My wife would be sucking his, and she sucks mine. So what the hell is the difference if she AND I suck his and She AND he suck mine?

What scares me is......The number of STRAIGHT listed guys, who will read our profile and send us something to the effect of....."I want to fuck you and have your husband fuck me at the same time and cum in my ass"

Now those are the types of "bi" guys WE try to avoid.

I scroll a lot of different sex sites. Classifieds, CL, here, other swinger sites, gay sites....And one thing I notice is people use the same few pics everywhere.

I know "straight" guys on here looking for couples or women for straight play and even say things like "NO MEN!!!!" Then I can show you their profile on a gay hookup site as a bareback bottom taking all loads.

Its just like condoms. Its complete bullshit that when those topics come up 10 to 1, everyone is SAFE ONLY.

We're not active every week but we have had our share of experience over the years and it is 100% fact that no matter who we have met, couple or single, no matter what we discussed in advance, either my wife or me had to stop things as they were getting ready to slide in or slide on. Condoms were not even a thought in their mind, be it first timers, or experienced that we met.

My wife pointed out at the swing club that of all places, condoms were very seldom used. And we watched people meet, hookup, swap, move on to others, and not a rubber in sight. (Yes there were some, but there sure were no shortage of complete strangers who didnt even have a profile to view, just sticking bare)

I watched one woman take on at least 5 guys, and the ones that approached her with a condom on, she pulled it off. Nobody walked away.

Some people flame me for my "opinions" but thats reality, like it or not.

I dont believe for one second that all men listed as straight are except for almost every single guy in a 50 mile radius. So if we are getting emails from almost every guy in our area, and they are cool with bi play. Do you think theyre not emailing "no bi men" couples?

Is it just coincidence that nobody has ever showed up with condoms? And nobody has ever brought it up unless my wife had them scattered within arms reach. And that most will ignore the rubbers all over the place and still try to "let it slip"

So just explain to me how thats all possible. When you read the forums and bi men are supposedly the outcast minority and everyone shows up with a 30 pack of trojans.

Mount Juliet TN
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(663 posts)
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Joey, I agree. There are those who believe they can avoid disease by avoiding bi males, and they would consider that information not only useful, but necessary. There may be those who believe they can lower their risk by avoiding welders, landscapers, optical engineers, and Indian chiefs, so they would consider that info required as well. Or maybe they just don't like Indian chiefs, so they come in here ranting that all Indian chiefs must list that on their profile, so they can avoid them without making their prejudice public.

Osterburg PA
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(425 posts)
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I still dont feel the slightest bit wrong or guilty about it.

Youre a single female. So if we were going to play one on one, bi doesn't even come into question. You dont have a penis, youre not bringing another penis, so that would be flat out straight male/female sex.

In that case, if you were interested in me, and attracted to me. Telling you that I could also play a little bi in the right situation would be totally useless information.

We're meeting for straight one on one sex.

Do I need to tell you I can rebuild a truck engine? Whats that have to do with anything?

How about that I can use an iron if I had to? If someone was looking for a welder, I can do that. Im not a landscaper, but if you needed the lawn mowed, I could pull that off too.

I wouldnt bother telling you any of that unless your profile said, I want to have sex with a guy on an ironing board set up on fresh cut grass.

There are a million things that I am capable of doing if I am asked to. I dont see any need to list those.

And I see no reason to tell someone that I was going to have straight one on one sex with that I can be flexible if a couple wanted a guy to play with both of them.

Just useless information.

Mount Juliet TN
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"and I ask in a way that suggests we are" now there is honesty for you. Good luck with that!

Carrollton VA
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That is why I flat out ask every man that contacts us if he is curious (and I ask it in a way that suggests we are). That is the only way to get a truthful answer. I know some of you think it shouldnt matter if you are playing straight but it does matter. If you have herpes but no outbreak you probably wouldnt tell your new potential partner because you are sooooo cool with hiding the truth to get what you want.

Dallas TX
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I agree with everyone on all opposing sides here...haha

Personally when I had a single profile, I listed as bi. Started as straight and my inbox collected dust. Changed to bi, and got plenty of activity.

And personally I would rather play with a bi couple than a straight couple. So there was no downside to me listing like that.

Like I said, the profile listing used to be a deal killer.

But I now look at the profile tag as "What type of play are you primarily looking for"

If you are looking to play in the manner that the people you are contacting are looking for, your orientation listing is meaningless.

If a couple is looking for straight play and I want to play straight with them. There is no reason whatsoever that I need to say that Im bi. Completely useless information.

I dont disclose that in real life. I dont walk around with a t-shirt that says "Im bi" When I have the occasional "random girl encounter" or hookup, I dont tell a single girl.....By the way, Im bi..... So to me its not a big deal.

Mount Juliet TN
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Sweet, I think you said it best! There are so many people out there. You shouldn't have to lie to get some play. There are people who want to play with the real bi you. It just isnt everyone's cup of tea and you try to take away their choice when you lie about it.

Dallas TX
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I see it as a personal preference. You don't like liars, don't meet with them. Simple!! Many who have said they are str8 and have become comfortable with the wife and I have tried oral bi and like it but don't want others to know. I'm fine with that because it's their life and their choices as it is mine to invite people to play or not. We both list honestly and wish all could, but I know for a fact there are too many hangups out there about it. Now the guy who can't tell his wife, that's different. He's living a lie and we don't want the drama.

Port St Lucie FL
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(21 posts)
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The larger issue was touched on in an earlier post and that is (at least in my opinion) a persistent homophobia within the "Life Style" community which to some extent mirrors non life style society. I for one will deal with the men who list as straight but turn out to be bi, but will encourage them to alter their listing. The claims that they will get "less action" can be argued by pointing out that they get far more if they come out. It is also up to each of us to try to make the change we would like to see. Things have changed to the extent that there are now a few bi male friendly parties and I see some gay couples listed on life style boards. Giving some other listing options might help as well. For example heteroflexible is one option as is pansexual. In the long run we must all do what we can to make being bi a comfortable, safe choice in the long style community.

Forest Knolls CA
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(5 posts)
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TOPIC: bi males and honesty