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When to tell : Swingers Discussion 57800
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TOPIC: When to tell
Created by: Local_swing The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Ah, to tell or not to tell... If you're just going solo then why put pressure on yourself to tell somebody - you've already told the most important person - yourself! If you're in some form of a relationship, that get's a little trickier because of possible health issues. One of the first things I told my fiancee when we met was that I was bi, choosing to get that out and said up front; I knew that she could have a stroke and go running away screaming at the top of her lungs and that's a chance I had to take, feeling that if she didn't accept this about me, then there was no need for us to keep seeing each other because I am what I am.

Coming out to other people is difficult, especially to family and friends; I've even heard that there are times when where you live can make coming out a hazard to your health. The best "advice" is to be careful and pick and chose the people you want to come out to, keeping in mind that they may or may not accept your sexuality.

Rob

Newark DE
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well my gf knows i am bi and think it okay,she don't swing but never stop me from meeting people all she asked is to let her know where i going and when i be home, she and i have a very secure relationship, i told her before we meet in person we meet in a chat room and talked a week before the first date, she is knowing i will come home to her and it is just for sex i meet with others, i know this is not your normal relationship but it works for us.

Belmont NY
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Whether or not you are bi, tri, quad, or 240V polar reverse isn't going to be so much an issue as fidelity. If a woman wants a strictly monogamous relationship, then what difference does it make if you're also sexually attracted to men, other women, farm animals, or whatever? In our opinion, it is much more important to tell a woman (or man) that you're promiscuous and desire for her to be your partner in adultery--uh, swinging. However, before you drop that bomb on her, you should really ask yourself how important swinging is to you. Is it more important than your relationship with someone you're in love with? Does this lady mean enough to you that you'd be willing to be monogamous with her? Regardless of your sexuality, she is going to want to have a secure relationship with you and be able to trust you before she will consider promiscuity. Even if she is bisexual, she will still want the secure relationship first.

San Francisco CA
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my husband told me he was bi on our second weekend together..it was hot ...and still is..i really never thought good or bad about two men haveing sex...but when i saw it, it was one of the hottest moments ive had...i am very thankful he included me in that part of his life......if not maybe he would be doing it behide my back..and honestly that would be worse then him cheating with a women..and after reading what i have written he would like to add, that you will no who, and when....you have to feel it...good luck man

Lewes DE
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Here is the way I see it, if you are talking about a girlfriend that you are dating, I'm sure she would appreciate it before you have sex with her. Some people don't care for bi-sexual men (this isn't meant to criticize anyone, it's just a fact of life). Now if you are refering to people in general, I wouldn't tell them unless they asked and I trusted them. Some people just don't need to know, unless you are having sex with them. Honesty is always the best policy

Mike

Mount Wolf PA
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TOPIC: When to tell