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Necessities Versus Wants Concerning Bisexuality : Swingers Discussion 61173
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FORUMSThe Bi Sexual SwingerBi CouplesNecessities Versus Wants Concerning Bisexuality
TOPIC: Necessities Versus Wants Concerning Bisexuality
Created by: Dooode The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Well I can post an honest reply to this string. For reasons unknown to me my wife is not interested in swinging or even sex right now. We have been married for over 20 years and I am continually on this sight and others looking and chatting. She knows what I am doing and it does not bother her at least she does not say anything. I found my bi side because she wanted to see 2 guys together and I really really enjoy bi sex. I keep our profiles up hopeing she will come around, but until she does I will be by her side masterbating and dreaming of the fun we have had and the things I would like to do. So can a bi person stay faithful I guess it depends on how much they want to honor the promises they made to their partner. Do I get frustrated HELL YES I do, but my comittment to her is stronger than my hormones and desire to feel a cock explode in my mouth of feel my ass stretched by a hard cock, even my desire to have both at once. Trust me you will never know until you have to make the choice

V

Columbus GA
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Of course it's not a fair question and there are lots of people, into this lifestyle or not, who feel that if they can do it, then they should. They ask themselves, "Why should I give up what I want to do just because he/she doesn't want to swing?" They'll generally answer their own question with, "Shit, I don't have to! I'm grown and what he/she don't know won't hurt 'em!"

Fidelity in the relationship is now out the window, unless the relationship was an open one to begin with (a subject for another topic). But it does beg the question who's more likely to decide to quit swinging - men or women if the bi necessity goes unfulfilled?

Newark DE
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Well, fidelity in such a relationship, under the conditions mentioned, is a valid question; if I promised my woman I wouldn't go off on my own and deal with my bisexual needs after we stop swinging, then I won't. But that doesn't mean they aren't there, no more than it means that I stopped being bisexual. I like to say that just because you can do a thing doesn't mean you have to. You have to ask yourself which is more important; being faithful to your partner if you give up swinging or scratching the itch.

Newark DE
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My fiancee and I talked about this and we both decided that we could both give it up, based on the premise that just because you can do a thing doesn't mean you have to. You can stop having bi sex and, maybe if you're of a mind to, stop being bisexual but, to us, that's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Having said this, if being bisexual adds that extra something to your life - and sharing that experience with people here adds even more - then why stop doing something that makes you happy?

Newark DE
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knowing my husband is bi, has its ups and downs..i know it is much easier for him to get laid by a man...so many do it behide their wifes back...daytime meetings ..i sometimes wonder if he indulges while im working..he could and i would have no clue...i like to think i would know...but i know better...i trust that he wont...has know reason too...why would he ruin a good thing...he tells me he wants it ..and we do it...same for me....we have gone sometime without playing...when either of us get the itch..we do it together...

Lewes DE
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"But I know there are those who do choose differently. Is there anyone out there who doesn't know of someone who's swinging behind their spouse's back?"

None that we play with, but there is a bunch out there.

Mike

Bedford PA
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"If you're looking for a comparable magnitude (or as close as we can get here), it would be like a straight person giving up anal sex because their spouse doesn't want to do it anymore."

Or oral. My first wife would not do oral. Is it one of the reasons we split? Possibly, never looked at it that way. There were too many bigger reasons for the split, like we despised each other, but lack of fullfillin sex could've contributed to that.

Mike

Bedford PA
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I would say I'm a 3 on a scale of 6. I play with a lot of women every time we go to a party. I enjoy it and have fun with it. However, if my husband wanted to stop swinging .....let's even say was forced to stop swinging due to medical reasons would I continue my bisexual side and/or miss it? He might asked me to stop swinging but would never ask me to stop playing with just women. BUT.... I have found my enjoyment includes him. I enjoy the interaction with him when we play with a woman. It's not as fun when I'm just playing alone with a woman. It's our team work together that is the aphrodisiac and a large portion of my fun. Playing alone with a woman for me is like playing with one hand instead of two. I can still have fun but just not nearly as much fun with his involvement. So, I doubt I would miss playing with women....but I would miss playing with Mr Sim and I playing with women. However, I could live the vanilla lifestyle again and still be very happy and content with lots of memories.

Mountain Ranch CA
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"You say you are a bisexual 1 on a scale of 6 .. but what of someone who's a 3 or a 4? Would they tell their spouse to fuck off and do it anyway? Or would they honor their spouse's decision and live happily ever after with them (or as "happily" as having a piece missing of themselves would allow ... )?"

Doode, this seems to be the same as askin a straight person if they'd give up sex entirely for their spouse. I would if I had to, medical reason for instance. If it was jus because she was tired of sex and didn't want to do it anymore I'd have to say, "Who are you? And what have you done with my wife?".

Mike

Bedford PA
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"What about you? If you were in a relationship where your spouse said, "I'm tired of swinging. Let's go back to being vanilla."

Could you?"

Nope. Neither of us could. Enterin this lifestyle brought about a lot of openin of our minds and neither of us could imagine closin 'em again. Life without jealousy is jus far too grand to give up. This has been such a step forward for each of us that neither of us will ever go back.

Mike

Bedford PA
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TOPIC: Necessities Versus Wants Concerning Bisexuality