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Evolutions in Swinging : Swingers Discussion 66583
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TOPIC: Evolutions in Swinging
Created by: Poohba
Original Starting post for this thread:
My fiancee and I were having a conversation once about how, in my opinion, finding partners to play with has become both easier thanks to the Internet and a lot more complicated than it was when I first got into it more than 30 years ago.

Back then, it would often be as simple as entertaining company where, after a few drinks, the conversation would, invariably, turn to things sexual and, if my (then) wife and I were interested in checking them out, a test question would be floated and if things went well after that, then it was on; if not, the matter was dropped without the other couple even being fully aware of what had just transpired or, at the worst, they'd leave with the thought in the back of their minds and, somewhere along the line, they'd ask for clarification. More often than not, that inquiry would lead to having fun with them and it was all good; back in the day, concerns about STD and the like wasn't much of an issue because the people we'd have fun with were well known to us by the time the fun started.

Today, the Internet gives global access to people who want and/or love to swing and one would think that finding suitable partners would be a lot easier - and that doesn't seem to be the case. In our experiences to date, Linda and I have been finding that even though there are people who want to be intimate with us, they'd prefer to do it without really getting to know either of us making it, in my opinion, a lot less impersonal than it should be; everyone wants to fuck you but not everyone wants to really get to know you.

A lot of people don't want to talk about anything other than when we can get together to fuck. I actually saw a profile on another site that said they weren't looking for a friend and not looking for anyone to hang out with; maybe they'll correspond or talk on the phone a little but, basically, all they wanted was a fuck buddy. The profile went on to lay down some rules, like, "no kissing in my mouth" and "no cumming in me, my mouth or on my face" which are obviously coming from the female half of this couple.

What happened to the intimacy that doesn't have anything to do with sex, like kissing or getting to know the people you're thinking about having sex with? Linda laughs at me when I say I don't seem to understand how folks want to be sexually intimate with you - but don't care about you outside of that. With the way I was raised to respect people in this regard, it was considered to be quite rude to treat someone like a mere piece of ass. Seems like people want to get really personal with you - without being personal.

Comments anyone?

Rob

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Thanks for the respect, cpl4 - it's appreciated.

Rob

Newark DE
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Our opinion, is most that have tasted this uninhibited and exciting side of life, know that the open minded free spirit is nearly non- exsisted..the one thing I come to this site for is this....otherwise chatting and such only shows the many,,,many ,...unfaithful men or the teasing young girls...other wise this site sucks a@@... Poohda..i respect your posts...I may seem a bit forward...but I take pride in this

Lewes DE
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Dooode, I guess there's the letter of the "law" and the spirit of it, huh? You get into the lifestyle and you play the game along with everyone else; otherwise, why bother, right?

It's just I can remember a time when you were making love to someone's wife or girlfriend and you knew her and shared things with her other than just bodily fluids; the guy bonking your wife or girlfriend was just as much a known item and you were at ease watching them together because you knew, beyond any doubts, that you could trust him 'cause this is the guy you played cards with or basketball or fished with - stuff like that.

Occasionally, you'd be at a party, get to talking some heavy shit with another couple and, with enough wine (or one's favorite intoxicant), you'd get to enjoy the thrill of having sex with someone you knew little and/or nothing about. Back in the day, that was more the exception than the rule but, today, well, it is the rule: Minimum information in the hopes of maximum satisfaction.

Brings another topic to mind, now that I think about it...

Dooode, let get a couple of bottles and to hell with the glasses!

Rob

Newark DE
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A church social, Occi? Laughing my ass off on that one; the church folks I know and worship with would have a massive stroke. I can live with today's attitude well enough - was just wondering where that "togetherness" went as compared to days gone by. Work, family, other commitments - those things haven't changed much from back in the day 'cause even back then, people still had other things that had to be done; I posed the question because one of the things I noticed in joining the web communities was the lack of that "personal touch" with another couple.

A lot of people do see friendships - or knowing something about you other than the size of your dick or tits and all that - outside of the bedroom as being a bother and don't even require it to swing - just show up, give up the booty, and see ya later... maybe. Me and Linda are cool with this but we were both just wondering where that particular bit of intimacy got to...

Rob

Newark DE
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Agreeing with occa on finding a church social or matchmaker dot com which by the way I believe has an adult/alternative section as wel. I believe also in the day it was easier to find suitable playmates, but it was like everyone was more at ease about it than how the swingers of today are so uptight or looking for those very personal friendships, many do not wish to form. For many, and this includes us as well, with work, family, regular friends, etc., we don't have the time to internet date or date someone a few times before we are granted to included in their sex lives. If there is a sexual attraction amongst four people, there is nothing wrong with the fuck and flee, but if friendship develops, that is an added bonus, but is never a requirement. We prefer to find local couples that fit our preferences, but usually have to go long distances to find first off real couples who will at least meet for a drink to see if the attraction is there for all, let alone playtime. This is only an extra activitiy in many lives, for fun and enjoyment. We have many lifestyle friends as well which are just that, the best friends we treasure, minus the sex, but we never require friendship to have some fun.

Jan

Jerome PA
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My fiancee and I were having a conversation once about how, in my opinion, finding partners to play with has become both easier thanks to the Internet and a lot more complicated than it was when I first got into it more than 30 years ago.

Back then, it would often be as simple as entertaining company where, after a few drinks, the conversation would, invariably, turn to things sexual and, if my (then) wife and I were interested in checking them out, a test question would be floated and if things went well after that, then it was on; if not, the matter was dropped without the other couple even being fully aware of what had just transpired or, at the worst, they'd leave with the thought in the back of their minds and, somewhere along the line, they'd ask for clarification. More often than not, that inquiry would lead to having fun with them and it was all good; back in the day, concerns about STD and the like wasn't much of an issue because the people we'd have fun with were well known to us by the time the fun started.

Today, the Internet gives global access to people who want and/or love to swing and one would think that finding suitable partners would be a lot easier - and that doesn't seem to be the case. In our experiences to date, Linda and I have been finding that even though there are people who want to be intimate with us, they'd prefer to do it without really getting to know either of us making it, in my opinion, a lot less impersonal than it should be; everyone wants to fuck you but not everyone wants to really get to know you.

A lot of people don't want to talk about anything other than when we can get together to fuck. I actually saw a profile on another site that said they weren't looking for a friend and not looking for anyone to hang out with; maybe they'll correspond or talk on the phone a little but, basically, all they wanted was a fuck buddy. The profile went on to lay down some rules, like, "no kissing in my mouth" and "no cumming in me, my mouth or on my face" which are obviously coming from the female half of this couple.

What happened to the intimacy that doesn't have anything to do with sex, like kissing or getting to know the people you're thinking about having sex with? Linda laughs at me when I say I don't seem to understand how folks want to be sexually intimate with you - but don't care about you outside of that. With the way I was raised to respect people in this regard, it was considered to be quite rude to treat someone like a mere piece of ass. Seems like people want to get really personal with you - without being personal.

Comments anyone?

Rob

Newark DE
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(129 posts)
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TOPIC: Evolutions in Swinging