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Confused : Swingers Discussion 93181
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TOPIC: Confused
Created by: az_cpl_4_friendz The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Cheating means a lack of communication. I feel cheating is never the answer, but at the same time judging it is not the answer. There are many ways to lack communication in a relationship besides cheating. And there are many reasons people are driven to cheat. One of the most powerful is sexual orientation to the same sex. That can be very difficult to reveal for many and not accepted by many more. I am not inclined to judge a person who has not been able to reveal a sexual orientation to his mate.

At the same time I would always encourage such a person to do so. Keeping secrets always costs more than revealing them. Communication is the only way to bridge gaps. And if the other person refuses to bridge, then you can begin the separation.

Enosburg Falls VT
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I learned so very long ago unless I have proof of such a thing, especially from you own partner that would be the very first step I would take. If they are true, then I would have aproblem a large one of the lie, not being bi. One thing I will never tollerate again in my life is having my significant other lie to me. Honesty is probably the most important thing to me in a relationship, and I have actually found a partner who is brutally honest, sometimes to where being truthful is more painful, but that is the only way I would want it. So, there would be no confusion if my partner lied, to me, that is worse than hiding his sexuality.

Jan

Jerome PA
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56/m 50/f in York Pa area looking for fun Let us know sometime

Wrightsville PA
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You mention someone TOLD you your husband is bi, but that he "still" lies to you about it? Just curious, but if this is only someone's say-so, why do you believe them, over your husband? (Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but are you so sure?) If he has been hiding his sexuality from you, why do you suppose that is? People tend to hide things from their spouse because of fear - real or perceived. If he has been deceptive, he is very much in the wrong, but it also says something is deeply wrong with your communication as a couple. If true, this is a tough situation, but it is also an opportunity to become closer - if you see it as a stepping stone (rather than a stumbling block.)

Pismo Beach CA
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K thanks for the notice will drink plenty before meeting :)

Baltimore MD
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This is off the subject but just wonder if anyone really know what you could do to make your cum taste good or better, hear allot of people complain about the taste (not talking about myself as of yet lol) just wonder if anyone had any real input. Happy Holidays to all !

Baltimore MD
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Talking is absolutely necessary. This is an opportunity in your relationship. By talking, really communicating perhaps in a way you never have, it could be the opening to a new level of communication and love. At the same time if you can't communicate, if you can't feel comfortable with what he tells you, then it is an opportunity to decide whether this relationship is worth it.

It takes both of you to get to the positive.

Enosburg Falls VT
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I am in complete agreement with Torta on this one.

Windermere FL
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I can understand your being very hurt to be lied to. Personally, I cannot stand when people do that.

Speaking from personal experience, it is VERY common on this site for men to say they are straight when in fact they have bi interests. Speaking to posting as straight, I think most men are afraid of the bi-hating backlash on SLS. It is so much easier to say you are straight and only admit you are bi when you are around accepting bi people. It is called being in the closet.

I do not know why he never told you, but he might have gotten the impression you would not accept his desires. People are very funny about their personal desires. It sounds like the two of you have had an important discussion. It may take time to let it sink in where you can talk about it in more detail.

Indianapolis IN
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Lies are not a good thing.

and not to start shit but if he's bi sexual, why do you have him listed at straight on your profile.

Lake Worth FL
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TOPIC: Confused