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TOPIC: Single people joining this site
Created by: TwoImzadis
Original Starting post for this thread:
I know that there are a lot of single people out there who are truely swingers at heart and are on here to look for couples to hook up with, but what is with the huge wave of "just single people looking to meet the opposite sex"? I don't think they should be allowed to join this club if they are only looking to meet someone of the opposite sex to hook up with. And you can read it in their profile, some 32yro male, straight, just looking for a lady. Theirs nothing wrong with that but this club is supposed to be exclusively for swingers isn't it? Can't we keep them out?

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Ok I have to put my 2 cents in. When we first started in the lifestyle we were surprised to see single guys saying that they were swingers or in the lifestyle. I thought that you had to be a couple to be a swinger. I mean it was about couples sharing each others mates wasn't it. I thought single guys were just using that as a pass to get laid in "our world."

Then it came to us when during the time that we were interested in meeting guys to fuck my wife (pre aids scare) . I thought at the time that since this was major part of our interest in our open marriage was to have 3 somes that without that other male then it would be just us right. so in order to complete our swinger taste at the time of having 3 somes the guy was a essential part. so he must be apart of the swinger life as well. does that make any sense.

From that point on we understood that single guys were very much a part of the lifestyle. without them we couldn't have 3 somes or Gang Bangs. some guys were single and some in a loveless relationship looking for sexual pleasure like ourselves.

We personally love clubs that allow singles for that reason. There should be more that allow couples and single guys on friday nites and couples on saturday nights. that way every couples taste is covered.

There is nothing more frustrating then going to a swingers club that caters to couples only and having a guy that I know my wife would love to play with(she tells me so) and the guy isn't able to play due to his mate not allowing him to. with singles in the club there are plenty of guys who are not only able but willing to party with her.

This problem happens every time we go to a club. not enough guys that can play because their mate gets jealous or they have other issues. So guys we need you here.

We unfortunately are no longer looking for single guys exclusively, unless you meet Patricia's turn on's (Long hair, average or better build, clean, fat cock 5" long or longer, not rude, and can carry a conversation). We are now really interested in couples and bi fems. But hey we never say never.

Mark (that lucky guy with Patricia)

Parker AZ
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Personally, I'm NOT in favor of excluding singles, irregardless of what they are looking for. Yes, we have come across rude singles, but we've also come across rude couples. We have several close single friends now that we probably wouldn't have met otherwise. - Dave

Bryan TX
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I think singles do have a place on this site. And don't understand why others have a problem with it. Especially now with all the blocking options. I would want to continue on this site if I were to become single, too, as someone else said.

csmith02: We do meet single guys ocassionally. But we get way too many singles emailing us to even think about meeting them all. So most of them get a no thanks. Does this mean we should block all single males or not even have that we are interested in single males on our profile? I think not. It just means we can be very, very selective (not that we wouldn't be anyway). The well written, polite and creative message from a single male with a good profile and pic will certainly go a lot further in interesting us than the crude one liners, the ones that obviously didn't read our profile and have very little - if anything - in their profiles.

Duana

Clifton Heights PA
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This forum post key subject is Singles meeting Singles, should or shouldn't be allowed, I says it should, because that is how future Couples could be coming from.

But relating to the past couple posts. There are many reasons a couple wouldn't pick a single male/female. Biggest is the one liner e-mail response like like2wish said with a picture that doesn't appeal or no picture at all. A clearly written letter that shows the sender never even read the profile to see if they match that couple. Other reasons such again no picture at all, a profile with limited information about themselves, height (I am not mister tall, dark, and handsome (I think I am sort of handsome, but not what they are looking for)), weight, looks (some will say looks doesn't matter, but it actually does). Personality and first impression is what matters to most, if they don't think they will like you (here will be were you can say, if they don't write to you, how do they know they will not like you, there is more reasons, some people like people with tattoos, long hair, no hair or a lot of body hair, so on).

Now about me, I do take the time to read profile and see if I think I am what there looking for and will write a letter talking a bit about myself and point out traits I have that they maybe interested in, I do keep my first e-mail a bit brief, several paragraphs, then let the couple look at my profile and judge more if I am what there looking for. Most couples write back to me, saying I am not what there looking for and that is it, I am happy the process worked. Some don't write at all, they have there reasons. When I write to a profile that has one liners in each of the fields, very limited information, maximum of 100 words in there whole profile, I generally don't know what there looking for, so I generally don't expect a response at all, but I have met some wonderful people that do keep profiles brief.

Most part, I don't write a couple/single woman, unless they clearly say they want a single male, sometimes I will write to ones that don't write it, but there meter under single male is full (but maybe they never edited it to show there not interested, but one can't tell there not with it showing it as low or not at all). I have learned a lot from this site, some men/women/couples can be jerks, some are wonderful people, and there are many levels in between, just don't take it personal.

Final words, put yourself in the shoes of the person you are writing to and you got the e-mail you sent to them, how would you respond? I really do mean, look at it as if you are in there shoes, the quick answer for a single male is sure, I would want them, but are you answering it, with your current mind set, since you are not with someone? You get what you give, if you give no time in writing a letter that shows something about yourself and time reading about them, then why would you expect they do the same. If anyone read my profile, my postings in the forums and my e-mails that I wrote and I don't meet what they're looking for, I am fine with it. Most people do write back to me at least, but there is always ones that don't write and don't let that bother you.

Time to get off my soap box, before someone pushes me off. :)

Phoenix AZ
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Could it be that maybe you weren't the single guy they were advertising for? Oh but it couldn't be that, could it? Just because a couple advertises for a single male doesn't mean they are going to want to meet every single male that contacts them. We sure as hell don't.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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I have to agree that I just don't see any reason why a couple would object to single people using SLS to find other single people. How does that hurt or even effect couples in any way? I suppose I can see a couple not wanting to be bothered by Emails from single people, but with the new hiding and blocking features I can't see how that will be much of a problem any longer.

It seems to me that the most likely motivation for wanting to exclude singles from SLS is a desire some couples might have to set themselves off from singles as a special and privileged groups, apart from and above the singles (much like the star-belly Sneetches). This impulse is the same one that motivates some thin people to see themselves above and apart from fat people, and whatever the categories of division are, it really stinks. There are enough perfectly good reasons for animosity among people in this world without resorting to senseless and arbitrary boundaries designed to give yourself some spurious sense of superiority.

Albuquerque NM
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I don't have a problem with singles looking for singles. Why is that a problem? I don't understand why anyone cares. If I were single again I'd want to come here and shop. I would want to meet a guy who would be okay with this lifestyle.

I think it's just single MEN that people want to exclude. But how is a single female going to find a single MAN here, if she wants a lifestyle partner, if none can come here?

The other thing is, what people want changes over time. When we started swinging we only looked for single bi females or married women who played alone. Ha ha ha! We know how many of them are around. So we started looking for couples instead, and it has been great. Some single guy might start out looking for just single ladies and change his mind. I think people deserve that chance.

It might be better to focus on what you specifically want (such as blocking single men from contacting you) than trying to keep them from this site.

PEACE to all, and god bless the web masters.

Reading PA
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*gasps* For shame, I've been widowed for 8 yrs my hubby and I use to swing.........I've 'swung' with bf's through the years, and still wish to continue. Where else am I going to find a swing partner? Surely now some Joe Blow off the street. It's going to take some weeding out the ones that want little one night flings, but sheesh people everyone was single at one time, whether already in the Lifestyle or not.....that's why we have this, a place to network, meet people have fun, and if it's a single person looking to meet a partner, then FINE! Everyone's need's to stop discriminating again US poor little singles....*smirks*

Upland CA
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We like the new hiding feature but use it the same way we do the mail block feature. We are not interested in single males for our own reasons due to our own personal history and experiences. The new option keeps us from having to worry about seeing them. We choose to talk to any one that interests us just as anyone else is free to talk to us to a point. On the forums we talk to all, if our conversations lead to an interest beyond the topic at hand, then we mention that and carry it on out of the forums. I know just like every other feature that gets added, there will be good points and bad points on this one. We also know that it will be abused by people just like anything else can be. The new video feature helps to weed out some of the posers (although I know on our profile it appears that it is a single female due to all the pictures that she loves to take). Just like the forums, it will be a learning and growing experience. Whether it ends up being a good one or bad one all depends on how people use it. Zo.

Fort Worth TX
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You can now elect to hide from singles, as well as from Free Members.

Coral Springs FL
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TOPIC: Single people joining this site