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Should we include racial preference as part of the user profile : Swingers Discussion 35069
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TOPIC: Should we include racial preference as part of the user profile
Created by: luvhanamai
Original Starting post for this thread:
Sure seems like a lot of people are game for a little adult fun, that is until they see that the other cpl is of mixed race. Sure would be nice if we had a way to search for the swingers for which race is not an issue. Just an idea???

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A feature which allows you to search by race is no different from searching by ages. It would be nice to search for couples that are both straight, too.

None of this is bigotry, it's PREFERENCES. When you're talking about people you would be interested in having sex with, you have PREFERENCES, and are not bigoted because you are, or are not, interested in someone of a particular age, race, ethnicity, or size. You're not even bigoted if you prefer someone with all their teeth, or someone within a WEIGHT range or HEIGHT range. Or even if you would like to search for someone who isn't dirty, sweaty, smelly and unkempt!

Some other swinger sites do permit you to do a search by race, or specify couples by sexual preference (straight or bi or curious females, usually). All these search options only make it easier to find what you are looking for, and we see nothing wrong with that.

Some people only want to find couples as similar to them as possible in race, height, weight, etc. Others want to experience some VARIETY and deliberately seek couples of other races or body types or colorations. There's nothing wrong with either approach. People join swingers' sites to find what they want, and anything that helps them to do that is a plus.

South Riding VA
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We don't think there is a problem with putting in a racial preference search feature. Part of this lifestyle is fulfilling one's fantasy. If you have a desire to be intimate with someone of a different race, that doesn't make you a racist, it just means that you find that specific race/ethnicity attractive.

Being an interracial couple (she's Jewish, he's Puerto Rican) we've had a few cases of people not being into us because of it. Thats fine with us. When it comes to meeting couples, we don't care about race. As long as there is an attraction and chemistry we're good to go.

Lexington KY
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We see nothing inappropriate about including a statement about racial preferences in swinging playmates, just as we see no problem stating that you are looking only for couples with bi females, or couples not older than 40. We get around this in our profile by including a statement that says "race or ethnicity is not an issue for us."

I can understand that a white couple may NOT be bigoted, yet may not feel sexually attracted to people of other races, and vice versa. I don't know enough to understand how we develop a special attraction to particular "types" such as blondes, brunettes, redheads, dark skin, light skin, long hair, short hair, big breasts, small breasts, tall & thin, short & stocky, etc., etc. But I think it's at least a reasonable hypothesis that it has something to do with the people we are most exposed to during late childhood and early adolescence, as we first become aware of sexual feelings. And those developing "preferences" are reinforced by the "types" with whom we have our first sexual experiences.

Anyway, sexual preferences don't require defending. They just ARE. There are many people of ALL sizes, shapes, colors, races, and ethnicities with whom we can be great friends, but only a minority of those appeal to us sexually. And that appeal is not based on race, ethnicity, color, etc.

So we see no problem with stating what "type" you are looking for, or not looking for, in your profile.

South Riding VA
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We feel there is plenty room to state your racial prefrences in your profile. We have run across plenty profiles that state that they are not looking to meet with other races. (both ways) Placing an option to search by race could place the webmaster into a situation where he could be sued, and we're sure there are some people just waiting for that chance.

Philadelphia PA
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Hey rdy2playwu - You forgot blue toenail polish! I know what You mean. My searches tend to be pretty broad. Don't want to overlook anyone - Dave

Bryan TX
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Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having ethnic origin as a search tool. It's not something that Cat and I would use, because race is not a concern for us. But, to some it is, so why shouldn't they be allowed to use such a tool? If you can search for me as hetro or bi, why not also caucasian, latino, african american, or martian? Of course, that is just my opinion, and we all know what that means! - Dave

Bryan TX
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Your apology is well received (by us anyway), but still an 'option' for this type of preference is just that as well - an option - use it if you want, no one will force any one to make use of it. If implemented, its there to use.

But I think you're still missing the point - lets take your profile like2wish for example. How would you state that you do not want men under 40 without stating it verbatum? A lot of himim and hawin thats how.

While your opinion on this issue is good conversation, I still sense a tinge of wanting to imbibe your particular likes and dislikes upon the rest of the community in your last 2 statements. You almost have a good argument except for the fact that your ideals could impose constraints others may find useful in their personal quest for sexual enjoyment. A simple statement like "we wouldn't use it" from you at the offset would have sufficed just as well to make your point.

For one, I am all for more options even down to eye color and perfume/colgne LOL. The better the tools to build something, the better the results - even this could apply to searches. We buidling a search right? This doesn't mean I am going to use all the options provided.

The racial aspect can be very disconcerning for some, the objective here is a discussion on 'profile/search options'. It is not my intent to infer any type of racism, it is my intent to highlight the inclusion of personal preferences as acceptable regardless of the usage of any preference setting, both as a profile item(s) and as a search parameter.

I (zig) hope no one reads this post as being too harsh.

Frederick MD
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We'll apologize for the jerk remark. And perhaps there are better words than bigot. But let's take a step back. Physical aspects are one thing. Certainly, someone could be more attracted to fair skin. But, for example, many Latinos, are fair skinned. So, shouldn't each Latino be judged as an individual, rather than simply stating that someone isn't attracted to ANY Latinos?

One could like long legs, big bosums, dark hair, a certain age, whatever. None of which any race has a monopoly on. Searches based simply on racial preference shouldn't be an option. Let photos and profiles speak for themselves.

Upland CA
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like2wish - and the difference between an age preference and a race preference is? None - its just that.

Like I said in our profile, we prefer to not play interacially - just like you so strongly state that you (like2wish) won't play with men under 40 - call it discrimination if you will, its just a preference to us.

If you stating preferences like age, height, weight, hair color, shoe size, dick size, titty size, smell, and what kind of gum you chew - why not include race?

Its a preference - it in NO WAY infers we are racists or prejudiced. We entertain and social interracially, we just chose not to have sex outside of our preferences.

So (pardon me for my criticism) - if you feel that us bigoted jerks are just that, then I can confirm that based on reading your posts's that if some one's ideals aren't in line with yours - they are beneath you. Many of your posts infer that your view points are above those of other posters and you take personal issue with views that differ from your own.

Thank ghod for America - we're all different. Enjoy it.

Frederick MD
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"Bigotted jerks just because they don't find people of another race attractive?"

Yes. Making blanket statements about an entire race is bigotted (we added the jerks as a personal comment).

"If that's the case, then we're ALL bigotted jerks, because we ALL have our own preferences regarding physical/mental attraction."

No. That's an illogical jump.

Upland CA
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TOPIC: Should we include racial preference as part of the user profile