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Search Function : Swingers Discussion 2210011021
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ST; I agree that many profiles contain 'outdated' ages for the people that the profiles belong to. Nothing that anyone can do about that, short of requiring all members to update their profiles annually and I don't see that happening. <lol> Given that the profiles are what they are, we just have to work with them the best that we can. The point to having the 'range of interest' in the profiles is to tell other members whether they're within our preferred age range...which is important to some (but not all) members. I can't guess which members are flexible in their preferences and which are inflexible, so I must assume that if we're outside of their stated preferences that they don't want to hear from us. We have no problem with that. As our profile states, "if our ages are a concern to you, your maturity may be a concern to us". It just grates on me to have to scroll through page after page after page of "you're too old" to find the few who're actually willing to consider that being 50+ does not equate to dead-below-the-waist-and-above-the-neck. That's what the search function filters are supposedly for...to eliminate profiles that don't meet criteria. Just like eliminating from searches those profiles who live 3-days 1-way driving distance. :-)


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Jack,

I understand your frustration. I'm hugely amused by people who are 54 and 52, and set their range to 30-55. It apparently doesn't occur to them that if they don't want even a few years older, the people who are 30 are more likely not to want people who are 20+ years older.

But you've missed my last point. I don't think people put any thought into the age range, or at least not much. They fill it out when they join and most don't give it another thought. Perhaps when they've been on SLS a while and have a sense for who wants to meet them, they may adjust the range, but look at all the profiles that are 5 years old and are the same as the day they were first written: "we're newbies," "we just decided to try this," "we're nervous about doing this" -- and they have five certs!

So I think you're being too literal. Our experience is that if they like the sound of you, they'll meet you even if you're out of their age range by a few years. I think there are other much more useful clues in their profiles about whether or not they'll accept you. If they mention HWP three times and talk about going to the gym every day, and you aren't and don't, not a good choice. OTOH, if you're seniors swimming champions who compete regionally, they might love you.

And finally, remember that ages on SLS tend to be, shall we say, a bit understated. A good rule of thumb is that everyone is 3 years older than their profile says. So those people for whom you're too old may be getting close to being too old for themselves.

I think you're being a bit too focused on the age thing.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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JackDarlene, We agree, the search function on this site has to be the most backwards, counterproductive set of query parameters we've ever seen. We've also created saved searches with varying age ranges and ironically the least productive search is the one which we enter both our own ages.

We also use the note feature as a reminder of compatible age ranges, but instead of writing "Do Not Message", we enter the profile's preferred age range. This to us seems less negative and we feel that SLS should have simply included this information on every profile's external listing anyway. That way, when you do a search, you can see at a glance if it is worth one's time to even open the profile.

Using the preferred age range info, also clues you to the fact whether or not the other profiles can even see your profile in their search.

Hillsdale NY
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StGal; we do that. I have a saved search which shows 256 couples 50+ within 50 miles of us. Whenever I find a profile that we hadn't seen yet, I make a note in the Remarks "Do Not Message" if we're outside of their stated age range of interest. When I pull up that saved search, the vast majority of profiles all contain "Do Not Message". They may be 50+ but their "range of interest" is 18-55, or 21-50, or 35-55, with a few 21-60. There's no point at all in contacting someone who has no interest in hearing from you, and not much point in conducting a member search that can't report members who might actually be interested in hearing from us. Every now and then I re-run the saved search and scroll through page after page of profiles, hunting for the profile that doesn't already say "Do Not Message" to see if perhaps we're within their age range preferences. Almost always, we're not. Their loss, but my wasted time.


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Jack,

I agree that it would be a useful search criterion, but in its absence you can come up with some rules of thumb that would filter out a lot of people.

In your case, search for people in your area who are older than 55. Even if they say 60 is their limit, they probably have some flexibility, especially since they may not have updated their own ages in 3-5 years.

If you're willing to get some more people who don't want to meet you, drop down to age 50. Depending on your tolerance for rejection, keep dropping down by 5 year increments until you feel as if you're wasting time.

Also -- the age you select is supposed to be the age of the youngest member of the couple, but it doesn't always seem to work out that way. I think it safe to say that almost all older men would be willing to play with much younger women, but fewer women would be willing to play with much older men. Some will love it, of course, but I don't think they're in the majority.

And given the sloppiness with which members treat their profile, not updating it for years and years, I'm not sure the age range they're looking for would be as much help as you hope.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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that is already in the search function.....

Louisville KY
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How difficult would it be to add an element in the Search window that would allow members to filter on the "Desired Age Range"? I get really, Really tired of running searches for swingers in our area and having the results come up totally dominated by people who have absolutely no interest in hearing from people our ages! If we could run searches that would eliminate profiles where we're outside of their "Desired Age Range", it would save a Lot of wasted time and effort hunting through hundreds of results and discarding profile after profile because we're the wrong ages. Perhaps just a simple "Yes/No" in the search criteria to exclude profiles with a "Desired Age Range" that does not include our stated ages? I know that this has been suggested before.


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