I did the meet for dinner/drinks and found it to be very time consuming,, I prefer the clubs and events. Its just much easier to me, I can see right away if I am attracted physically, invite them for a drink at the table and see if they are interested,, at clubs and events I think more are ready for taking it to the next level after the drinks/chatting and the atmosphere at the clubs.

I think your ratio is conservative. We believe that 1 in 50 online are real.

It's been our experience that we can meet Ten "for real" cpls at M&G's or house parties before we'd see even one cpl resulting from an online contact. The Flakes-and-Fakes ratio is just way too high online to pin much on that venue as far as actually meeting real people. They're out there, but you'll play hell finding 'em. :-)

JnD

I'd be a fool to think that just because we met, it meant there would be sex. I just cannot fathom why people are so noncommittal to even meeting for dinner or drinks, when they give the impression initially that they would like to. And I fully agree that attraction has to play a big role in things. As for the certs, it makes sense now that I think about it that people would cert for differing reasons. But I was not using it as a basis for determining sexual activity, just that they aren't flaky when it comes to meeting in person. We were initially of the mind that going to a meet and greet would be better saved until after we had played solo, but I'm beginning to think it's a better way to filter out the flakes. So that advice may be very sound indeed, so thank you.

Dave, just because a person has certs doesn't meant they are a swinger. Read the certs closely. Did they actually have sex, or did they just meet? I have met a couple of people that I didn't cert because we didn't actually have sex. In one instance it was obvious that the lady in question was in love with an old flame and she was just using swinging to date till they got back together. So even though she showed, we didn't actually do anything sexually other than kiss and grope each other. In another case, I met a younger lady and we literally had no place to go to have sex. It was too cold to do it outside, and she had to be home early so we sat in my vehicle and made out. I had an erection and she played with it, but once again, we didn't go all the way, so there was no cert. We do plan on getting together and getting a hotel room next time our schedules work out though, LOL... However, the point is, there are other people on this site who would have certed both of them because they showed up. I don't think that's what the certification system is for. I think it's for people who have met and actually PLAYED in some form. If you look closely, you will see a lot of vague certs that don't tell you anything other than that this person met that person. Just because they met doesn't mean they played, necissarily. Some people are hung up on getting a bunch of certs and it's not for that either. It's not a scorecard. It's just an indicator that this or that person is sincere in their efforts to be a swinger. Or should be.

David,...theres a lot of fakes out there. don't get discouraged. The best way to meet real people is to go where real people meet. Try Meet & Greets, house parties and social clubs. When you go to these places you know everyone there is thinking the same thing you are...

True, its a shame there are time wasters. But the thing that makes me scratch my head is the fact that they are certed members and the like, experienced people by most accounts. So you can see my puzzlement.

Dave

Its not you, it's them. The swinging world is FULL of people who will often contact you first, talk about how hot-n-horny they are, and then, when you contact them back and say, yeah, you are interested they often dissapeare off the face of the internet. It's not so bad when you contact the other person and hear nothing, but when they contact you first it can leave you scratching your head in wonder. I think a lot of people fantasize about hooking up with comparative strangers for sex but when the opportunity for it to become real happens, they can't cope and chicken out. I wish those folks would stick to anonymous chat boards with the fantasies and stop wasting the real swingers time.

I'm beginning ot think the holidays were what was killing us. People seem to be getting a little more conversational. Thanks for the advice guys.

Saying what others have suggested in a different way:

We've learned that finding playmates here is like looking for the proverbial needle in the hay pile. Accept that you're going to go through several (maybe 15-20) to find one couple that works out.

Patience, grasshopper. Better to wait for the right couple than to have a bad experience.