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TOPIC: Super_awkward_first_meetings
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Planning a short initial meeting is my preference too. It is so much easier to extend a date if you want to, or to let it end naturally, than it is to cut a date short.

In the vanilla dating world, years ago, I had a first date over coffee. There was a large and obvious discrepancy between the woman sitting in front of me and her appearance as she described it to me. This was a Saturday afternoon date, so casual dress was fine. But, come on, there is a not-so-fine line between casual and dowdy. Coke-bottom glasses are fine, some people have bad eyes. But the lenses would ideally not be smeared with grease. (At least the lenses were consistent with the hair.)

And then things went downhill. In addition to having nothing in common, her idea of a fun second date was to go see a G-rated movie that had just come out. I was so happy that I hadn't proposed drinks and dinner.

Newton MA
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Glens: the main reason i always set up first meetings as coffee or drinks is so i can walk away--no harm no foul if there is misrepresentation or anything else is "off."

there've been a few very nice exceptions when i've met for dinner on a first meeting. i can say those folks i would be happy to get together with again.

as a single the first public place meet is a must for me--folks who won't agree to it are most likely not a match anyway, so i don't sweat it.

Bridgewater NJ
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Thanks Njny....we agree misrepresentation in the profile is a red flag for us but we don't get bummed about it we just walk away. We never take it too seriously so we are never disappointed. Probably a little different for a single lady....not as much of a support mechanism without a partner.

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glens2422, welcome to the forums. totally agree awkward first meetings (at least for me) are when in person, the person or couple are *so* not as presented in the profile.

Bridgewater NJ
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We have had some awkward first meeting but not because of lack of conversation, it's because what was said was different from the profile. If you want someone to respond then ask questions, listen to the answers and go from there. First meetings are only awkward when the chemistry is not right.

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I agree with the earlier poster. Whether couples are seeking other couples or are seeking a prospective solo partner, they should communicate a few times via email, chat and even by voice verifying via phone. It's important to learn a bit about each other's interests and desires and experiences. It makes it much easier to break the ice when a face-to-face meeting occurs. My 1st wife and I always told other couples or singles up front that we'd get the hotel room or host them at our home if we hit it off. We also did everything we could to make it feel like an old-fashioned date. (ie I'd pull out the other wife's chair at dinner, ask her to dance, etc. and my wife would charm the other hubby. That seemed to take much of the pressure off them. We never had what I'd call an awkward experience, only a few non-experiences when we didn't hit it off.

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The driving range? That's a novel approach.

New Orleans LA
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best way to meet the first time is the driving range then maybe grab a bite. Great way to eliminate awkwardness.

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I have not experienced awkward first meetings, and that's really saying something since I am an introvert. If all else fails, past swing experiences is an obvious and fascinating topic. Also, the ability to talk about sex so openly is one of the great things about swinging. You meet people in the vanilla world, and while you might like to talk about it, you almost never can.

In addition to all the obvious benefits, swinging has helped make me more social and outgoing in general.

Newton MA
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For the two of us, we find it best to chat, text or email a bit before meeting for the first time. I know many don't like to do this but we're not talking about the endless stuff that goes nowhere. Just enough to get to know each other some.

Grant MI
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TOPIC: Super awkward first meetings
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