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FORUMS Successful Swinging First Contact So you see a hot couple at a club, now what
TOPIC: So you see a hot couple at a club, now what
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My wife and I are at odds when it comes to approaching couples at clubs... She is introverted and would just as soon sit back and be approached by another couple... My philosphy is that we will meet a couple more of our choosing if we approach who we are interested in rather than the other way... I am usually the life of the party and no many of the couples and help other couples hook-up with people that they might connect well with... Since we feel that when we go to clubs it is like a "swinger safari" we usually only go to a club to meet another couple... We meet new couples through this couple and sort of network this way kinda through referrals... I don't mind at all if couples aren't interested in playing... If someone says no it reflects nothing upon you as a person or your sexual appeal... I usually just think in my mind, "Oh, the guy must be into gay sex or something." Just a thought to keep me from taking things personal and staying upbeat... I will walk up to any new face that I don't know and just say "We just wanted to come over and introduce ourselves." Every couple I have done that with has been flattered to be noticed.... In fact I have found that we have actually been able to play with "newer couples" that might be out of our league because we were willing to break the ice and show them how to get started... It is basically the art of small talk... We will throw out softball questions like so "Whose idea was it to come here tonight?" They couple usually laughs and says "of course his." But some say "hers" and that tells you a lot about them already... The key is to not be too clingy and keep entering and leaving conversations and maybe after 3 casual approaches saying "It's kinda loud in here maye we could talk a bit more over there..." And then there is the transition from talking into playing which I feel we do quite well... We are a full swap couple and 90% of the time we use the massage transition... I will say something casual like "Are you up for a massage?" And my wife quickly chimes in with "Oh he is amazing..." It is much easier to take a small step... It is easier to ask the question and easier from them to say yes... Now this is definetly after we have talked about what we are into and not into and casually address the "groundrules" for the encounter.... Anyway that is what we do and have had a ton of fun...

Viera FL
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Webmaster that is pretty good.

Merrimac WI
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Wow, manny and pleasure, you guys can come up to us anytime. Both you couples are smokin' hot ;-) pleasure(M), who's your WoW toon?

Poughkeepsie NY
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Well manny, judging by the pics that I can see in your profile, you shouldn't be having problems on the appearance front, though perhaps you have been unlucky with type. It could be that they are like you, hoping you would make the first mood. I know we have had trouble with this, as we don't want to come off pushy or single-minded.

Fort Myers FL
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I didn't suggest it, I repeated what happened to us as a funny story. Your also planning to meet them later that night, not weeks later.

It's arguable that any pickup line is false or misleading.... Can I buy you a drink? When you really mean can I get into your pants.

Coral Springs FL
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I love that! I'm so trying that next time! We're so shy at first that it takes us most of the evening to work up enough nerve to say something. Instead we just do the whole smile across the room thing and then pray :) Which is not the right way to go about things I suppose.

Wilmington DE
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If you're kinda shy around new people, like us, this can be difficult.

We usually find it hard to go up and say hi, so we don't :-( but may have no trouble at all.

What you SHOULD do is go over and say hi, introduce yourself, then give them some space so they can discuss you amongst themselves. If they like you, they'll come talk to you later, if they don't, you haven't pressured them and can say hi again next time, at least you may have a new friend rather than someone that avoids you, thinking you're pushy.

We were at a club one time and a couple came over and said "Are you Paul?" I said no and they excused themselves saying, "hmmm, we're supposed to meet a hot couple named Paul and Sue. We'll let us know if you're interested in getting together some time." Then they left. I'm not sure if it was a pickup line or not, but it worked pretty well. Made a reason to come say hi, then left so we didn't feel pressured. It was then easy to go say hi to them later on.

So, tell us how you do it.

Coral Springs FL
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TOPIC: So you see a hot couple at a club, now what