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Rude people : Swingers Discussion 125142
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TOPIC: Rude people
Created by: Swingshift
Original Starting post for this thread:
Having been swinging as part of a couple, and now a single male, I'm appalled at how rude some people are. We answered our mail politely, as I do now, but WTF!!! I sent a couple a note expressing interest, asking that it not be an endless e-mail session, and if they were interested, let's set up a meeting for coffee to get to know each other. Not only did I get a nastygram from them as a reply, but they were so cowardly they blocked me for fear of a reply. This isn't my first rodeo. I've been swinging actively for over ten years, but assholes like them give the lifestyle a bad name. And no I can't name them... but I'd sure like to.

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One recieves what one puts out!!!! If ya get contacted and ya contact back. One does exspect to get a rude message from the wife of the caalling sayin not interested after the hubby has said theres a interest from both of them in there email. Or better yet who's looking for your reply back a yr later after setting up a date to meet. LOL Now who's being rude when they do get back to you and ya say FU!!! LOL

If people would just stop playing games no one would ever hear FU from any member on any given site. :)

Brockville Canada
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sigh, I've said it before and I will say it again. Complaining on the forum is not going to get you the attention you seek. It will get you attention, but generally not the type that you are looking for.

Your profile is a bit short, a tad on the abrasive side and you can't seem to determine how much you weigh. There is no personality to it and from that I would guess your emails to couples are not much better, no need to write a book but at the same time give us something to go on.

Here are the cold hard facts. While I in no way think I'm a knock out drop dead beauty we get on average 5-30 emails a week from single males sometimes more sometimes less but to me it is still a heft amount as far as I'm concerned. You have to make yourself stand out from the rest, a single males first email to us must stand out in the crowd to even catch my eye and make me open their profile. Once I open that profile there has to be some content that makes me think that I might want to meet with this guy.

PG

Louisville KY
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I am rarely offended in here. Basically, these are all posters in here, and I will rarely, if ever, have the opportunity to meet them, so why should I get offended? (it really is cool to have met a couple...but that's for another topic)

Everyone is certainly free to have his own preferences. I pretty much don't criticize that. But sometimes if someone is rude in an email reply, we only get half the story as to "why."

Thanks for the compliments. I stand by the "sexy is as sexy does" Gump paraphrase, but my husband certainly is turned on by attitude as he is by a nice pair of tits or great legs (ok, I have one of those attributes..ha), and I have to agree with him on that.

Gina I am so addicted to posting...I have GOT to go to bed now!

San Antonio TX
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"who is not offended that I am not your preference, even with the condescending sounding "please" attached to the No BBWs."

Wow, he really put that there? I just clicked his profile now to see the stuff you were talking about and see that he's blocked single males from viewing.

So...he's pushy, impatient, perhaps a bit ego-centric, has poor taste in women, and is afraid of guys looking at his profile for some reason....

I think I was far too kind.

Gina, let me just say, from what I can see in the pics, you are hot. And pics don't tell even half the story. I'm sure you're even hotter in person (based on what I've seen in these forums). If someone wants a girl with the body of a 10 year old boy, they should just date a 10 year old boy. I like curves. It's good that you weren't offended, because he just has lousy taste. ;) But that's ok though, one less guy for me to have to worry about ("competition" and all, lol). :D

Derrick

Aston PA
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Ok, our two cents for what it's worth, as we have rarely blocked anyone.

But if we received an email from a single male who stated, "not into endless emails," and was coming across as desperate, pushy, over eager or just not considerate, we might have responded with a No thanks, then, as I like to take my time a bit with single males before meeting right away. Also, if you emailed and they checked your profile, right away they see a couple "lies" in it. You list two weights for yourself, and maybe a double standard as well. So, yes, dear, it "could be you."

Still, there is no call for rudeness on anyone's part on this site, and you have to just let it go and move on.

Gina, who is not offended that I am not your preference, even with the condescending sounding "please" attached to the No BBWs.

San Antonio TX
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I'm just now re-reading what I put here and in the second paragraph I said "not a leper", and that's a typo I always make. doh!

That should read "now a leper"

Aston PA
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Rudeness sucks and is normally not necessary or called for, agreed, however.... I suspect you would have gotten a better result if you had taken a less pushy approach than implying that they were into endless emails, or that you were too impatient for any conversation before meeting. That does NOT mean that you intended that, but I can see even from what you put here how it could very easily come across like that.

Remember, you are not a leper. They all think that we are "a dime a dozen" because they think we are all the same, that there is NO difference between the drunk at a bar, some sleaze-ball off the street, the fakes and cheaters on this site, the "real" swingers with no tact taste or skill, and the handful of GOOD, REAL single males out there. Likewise, they think that chemistry is important and difficult to attain between couples, or a couple and a female, but that it's irrelevant for us, because they see us as "a dick" and nothing more, so I guess chemistry isn't important to them when they want that, and automatically assume that we won't ever turn down an offer.

Ugh, I know that REALLY sounded like a bitch session there, but honestly it wasn't meant to be. I'm just saying that it's a different world when you're a single guy vs part of a couple. So you have to really approach things differently. You will be often viewed with suspicion and initial distaste, and any hint of problems (including the notorious pushy-ness), and you will be blacklisted immediately, often with the accompanying block. (of course, I could see what you mentioned being viewed as "pushy" even coming from a couple's profile)

So don't take it personally. There are those out there who appreciate a legit, good single male in the lifestyle. Just fine tune and tone down your approach. Take it easy, have fun with it. Have conversations, get to know people. You'll have more fun yourself and have more success than if you just try to be a hard dick for hire, OR be in a hurry.

Aston PA
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Having been swinging as part of a couple, and now a single male, I'm appalled at how rude some people are. We answered our mail politely, as I do now, but WTF!!! I sent a couple a note expressing interest, asking that it not be an endless e-mail session, and if they were interested, let's set up a meeting for coffee to get to know each other. Not only did I get a nastygram from them as a reply, but they were so cowardly they blocked me for fear of a reply. This isn't my first rodeo. I've been swinging actively for over ten years, but assholes like them give the lifestyle a bad name. And no I can't name them... but I'd sure like to.

Woodstock IL
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TOPIC: Rude people