Phoning before meeting: Swingers Discussion 212205

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TOPIC: Phoning before meeting

Created by: MNFun2012 Original Starting post for this thread:
We're still newbies, so I'm asking an etiquette question. Is is ok/expected/mandatory to exchange phone numbers before meeting? In our limited experience, we've gotten phone numbers for texting, and have only called a couple times (asking for permission first) to chat about things that would simply take too much time to text. We've been going back and forth with a single guy for almost two months now, and feel like we've finally nailed down a date that works for us. However, he hasnt always been great with communication and I'd like to be able to text or call him prior to meeting. We have to get a babysitter, hotel, travel, etc., so it seems reasonable to me that he can talk a bit more directly. He does seem pleasant and legit, but perhaps doesn't appreciate the planning a couple with kids has to do. Should I go ahead and tell him we need direct communication to commit? Thoughts? Thanks for any insight, Mr.

Created by: MNFun2012
Original Starting post for this thread:

We're still newbies, so I'm asking an etiquette question. Is is ok/expected/mandatory to exchange phone numbers before meeting? In our limited experience, we've gotten phone numbers for texting, and have only called a couple times (asking for permission first) to chat about things that would simply take too much time to text.

We've been going back and forth with a single guy for almost two months now, and feel like we've finally nailed down a date that works for us. However, he hasnt always been great with communication and I'd like to be able to text or call him prior to meeting. We have to get a babysitter, hotel, travel, etc., so it seems reasonable to me that he can talk a bit more directly. 

He does seem pleasant and legit, but perhaps doesn't appreciate the planning a couple with kids has to do. Should I go ahead and tell him we need direct communication to commit? Thoughts?

Thanks for any insight,

Mr.

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User Details are only visible to members.	We have never seen the need to voice verify before meeting but we also live within walking distance of dozens of bars and restaurants, so if we were to have a no show it wouldn't be the end of the world. If we were going to drive any significant distance to meet someone it would probably be a different story. We do give out our google voice number so they can text us if they're running late or the babysitter didn't show.
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (268 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have no problem giving out my phone number but I dont like for that to be the first thing ever asked for (meaning prior to any other chat) so that is the only time that I refrain from giving. Otherwise, I agree that it is helpful to have. One time, I had my phone stolen but had a meet scheduled. That was the biggest disaster when I ran into traffic and got there late.
Ypsilanti MI			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I believe that asking for a telephone chat is very sensible - bu either the couple or the SM. I can't think of anything bad as a result of a voice interaction. Only good things like flushing out the fakes... .... a call out to all SMs; there is a lot of SMs that are very cool...
Hull Canada			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	When we get to the point of inviting another couple out for a .. let us check one another out .. meeting, we always talk on the phone .. it has weeded out the single males posing as a couple .. several times unfortunately .. and confirmed the logistics .. sometimes, the other end of the phone seemed .. lifeless .. but surprise .. they were very much alive! .. also, we noticed extremely pushy calls .. :-)
Venice FL			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	" We have to get a babysitter, hotel, travel, etc.," We always have other plans ready in case of a no show. It WILL happen one day. Don't let it be the first meeting date
New York NY			Username hidden (149 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'd suggest ANY single male who you spoke to for months and won't give you a phone number by now is MARRIED and has something to hide. I'd be very clear in my expectation to chat via phone first or there will be no invitation to meet. That being said a phone number isn't a guarantee he isn't married but it would sure be a HUGE RED FLAG to us. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4005 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Having read several other topics in the forms, I was amazed at the number of people who have had issues with single males. I certainly won't make any blanket statements, but it does appear that I may have been a bit naive in my thinking that single guys would be the last people to back out. Thank goodness for us that we ran into the right couple when we got started... no pressure, walked us through things, answered questions like we had been lifelong friends, and were eager to have as much fun as us at our first meet! A setback like being stood up by a single male could have been traumatic for newbies!
Eagle Bend MN			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks scandal, we will be visiting the area for thanksgiving and it would still be fun for the kids to stay at the hotel and do some swimming. Nevertheless, I appreciate your input. We've had such good luck so far that we'd really like to avoid being stood up! Wish we had a backup couple, but I can't see doing that unless we were talking to friends we've been with before. Sadly, ours arent from the area we are visiting. Hard to imagine someone standing up my mrs - she's hot! Keep those comments coming, and thanks for the warm welcome to a great community!
Eagle Bend MN			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	MNFun, I'll add my welcome to ItsBeen's. In my experience it has been customary to exchange phone numbers with people we are meeting off of this site for all the reasons mentioned. One red flag that came up when I read your post was that you are planning to make a commitment of travel and hotel expense in order to meet and play with this guy. There are other threads in the forums where people warn against doing that - they've been stood up when in exactly the same situation, sometimes a few times, and unless they already had plans to be someplace (for a planned vacation or conference, for example), it was an expensive trip that was a huge waste of time. You may want to rethink this, or plan additional fun activities at your destination to occupy your time if he's a no-show.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6937 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to the fora! It seems like a reasonable request given the logistics involved. As a SM, I would have no problem with the communication as it neared a committed date. And in case of any last-minute issues. (running late, sitter sick, etc)
Amherst OH			Username hidden (2271 post)

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TOPIC: Phoning before meeting

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