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People who don't certify back : Swingers Discussion 88194101
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TOPIC: People who don't certify back
Created by: smlsml
Original Starting post for this thread:
Here's a new one. We met a couple for a drink. Drinks were nice, but we weren't a good match for anything more. But, here's the thing....

We went back and certified them. They were real and nice (we just didn't hit it off) and we figured that was the right thing to do....they are certified real people that didn't flake out :). But, they won't certify us back. Given we are newer on this site, we'd like people to know that we are also a real couple.

Oh well. Does that happen to others out there?

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we've met with a bi couple last year, and we certified them and they accepted it, they never wrote one for us but we didn't mind. we never met them again because of distance between us.

since then he changed his bi status to straight and then deleted our certification we gave them.

Philadelphia PA
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BLT, You hit the nail on the head. It supposed to be about FUN! :D

Emeryville CA
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I think certification is optional and not a "quid pro quo." Some think it's kissing and telling....it's not, only that the person exists. Frankly, if someone went into a whole bunch of details about our time together I would just decline the cert. I think we should lighten up. This is supposed to be fun.....are we having fun yet (lol)!

Vero Beach FL
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We've never asked for a cert and won't.

We did have someone ask us for a cert once. Quite frankly, we were shocked. We'd met him when he was single, but just had drinks and had never met her. They just wanted a cert to be credible. HOW were we supposed to do that? **boggles the mind** Had we spent some time w/ both of them and thought that they were cool, we wouldn't have minded at all. Most people agree that being certed is important or at least a factor and a lot of couples want to get that first one posted and that's reasonable.

Jackson MS
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We tend to only certify people we have played with. The reason in our mind is b/c we're on a swing site looking for swingers. Not pic collectors, people that email a thousand emails with no intention of ever meeting, etc... Rarely will we certify someone we haven't played with but sometimes have b/c as some of you have pointed out just b/c you're not compatible with them doesn't mean the next couple will be. This does let people know they are real and will meet.

The tricky certs are the ones you meet and they're great the first time. Then the second meet they really show you thier true colors or they become clingy or have different agendas.

Good luck and happy swinging.

Kodiak AK
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Reminds me of "I gave YOU a gift NOW where's mine???" If the Cert isn't given from the heart it's worthless and if you've only given one to expect one in return it wasn't from the heart.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I've never "asked" anyone from a cert. If I met them and had a good time and certed them...if there was no response after a couple weeks...I've tried to discretely drop the hint by mentioning people and their certs. As far as asking people about certs...if they have been on the site for a while, I try to judge it by whether they have other certs or not.

Portsmouth OH
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Here's our question...is it wrong to ask a couple you've met (and gotten along with, regardless of if you played or not) for a cert? Or is that considered "bad form".

Subsequently, is it wrong to cert another couple without asking them first if they'd like one?

Pittsburgh PA
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Thank you, curiousity, I feel the exact same way.

If I meet someone and have a good time (whether we have sex or not) and they are a real genuine person, I try to cert them. I know that free members can't return certs, and that's fine. What gets me is the paid and lifetime members who I cert, they accept the cert and put it on their profile, but they never return the cert. Don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to collect certs as notches or something...but I believe that you should be curtieous to one another.

Portsmouth OH
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Certifications were intended to just Certify someone is real, their profile accurate, and they actually met. Thus the definition of certifying a profile. This profile is accurate and the people who wrote it are real. Just like so many other areas nowadays, so many have to rewrite the definition of something to suit themselves and weight it all down with BS. All the folks that only certify cause they played, turned it into the kiss and tell list. The idea that if you can't say something nice don't say anything is crazy, just cause you didn't hit it off doesn't change whether they are real or not and actually showed up. Instead of certifications being worded by the certifier, it should be a simple check list. Such as but not limited to: Profile accurate___ Couple was on time___ Communicates well___ etc etc You either check it off or you don't, that way there is no kiss and tell aspect, compliments, and personal stuff don't need to be there anyway. Also for those that want to use it as a play list that could be something to check off as well. However, IF THAT WERE ADDED, I would think that should be a required to answer. yes or no. Just some thoughts

Rio Rancho NM
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TOPIC: People who don't certify back