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Our first contact pet peeve : Swingers Discussion 1595221011
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TOPIC: Our first contact pet peeve
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J&M, we agree with you 110%. We too try to find and mention commonalities in an opening letter. We've never 'shotgunned' generic messages and hate receiving them. I guess we're on the same page after all. :-)

JnD

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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JandM; We're Absolutely Not advocating a shotgun approach. I hate those as much as you do, when it's obvious that the sender paid absolutely no attention to our profile. Contrarywise, even after reading profiles we still don't know a lot about the other cpl. Example; are their stated preferences flexible or fixed in concrete? Do we have interests or background in common outside of the LS? If they're flexible, is there any interest on their part?

If, after reading a profile, we're interested in exploring further then sure, we'll drop 'em a line or three. We certainly don't mind hearing from others who don't strictly match the preferences in our profile. We're not campers or bikers, but aren't going to block inquiries from ppl who are. After all, "variety is the spice of life"...not to mention the LS. I've seen many postings here from others, too, who were pleasantly surprised that someone that they had no interest in when online turned out to be very nice in person. Profiles can be useful as guides, but we don't believe in using them strictly as a filtering device. :-)

JnD

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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By their very nature, profiles here or anywhere else are brief thumbnails and not very in-depth. Some people's preferences are set in concrete, some are very flexible. If someone looks like a 'maybe', we'll send a quick msg just to say hello and see if there's any reciprocated interest in pursuing an acquaintance. If we never initiated a contact unless everything appeared to be a 100% match, there'd be No contacts. If it's a sincere query and not something like "Hey, hot stuff, lets get naked and F**k!", then we'd just go with the flow and either politely decline for whatever reason is appropriate or pursue it further. It hurts nothing. Besides, even if there's no heavy chemistry there, you never Really know who they might be able to introduce you to who might just light your fire! (lol)

JnD

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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Hi J_and_M! I get what you're saying. I really do, but I also get that so many people don't respond to a nice email that was obviously sent to them (as in, not a generic cut and paste deal) that often times we'll send a quick email, open some pics and ask that we hear back if the couple is interested. We think that our profile sums us up, but leaves enough to the imagination that we'll have plenty to talk about and we're more than willing to get into more detail via email b/f making plans to be sure that we'll be compatible.

We also often mention grabbing a couple of drinks in our first email. For many reasons, we prefer to meet people in person. No pressure, no expectations. Face to face is where the possibility of friendship and more is going to be discovered. We've emailed a fair amount w/ people that sounded and looked wonderful only to discover no chemistry. We've also run into our fair share of couples that like the idea of playing and want to chat about meeting forever only for us to come to the conclusion that talking about playing probably enhances their sex life, but they don't really want to do it. That's fine. We get that, but that's not our deal. Besides, like our profile says ~ we *do* really enjoy meeting new people. What's the harm in a few drinks? We aren't going to kidnap anyone and drag them to the club! LOL!

So, I guess what I'm saying is while the "Hey, like your profile. Wanna meet and f*ck?" is ridiculous and means that they likely didn't read your profile, a short, polite email may just be a way to see if you have any interest in them b/f spending more time sharing about themselves with you ~ of course, there has to be something in their profile for you to be interested in. ;)

New Orleans LA
 
 
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TOPIC: Our first contact pet peeve