Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS Successful Swinging First Contact No Response to Emails
TOPIC: No Response to Emails
Created by: bruinscouple17
Original Starting post for this thread:
Is it common practice for people to not respond to emails? I personally find it rude to not respond to another persons message, even if its just to say "thanks, but we aren't interested" but we can't even seem to get that out of 80% of our emails. Does anyone else have this same issue and if so, do you feel the same way? I wonder if there is something wrong with our profile, or our pics or if it really just is other people prefer to be rude.

GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4
 1 to 10 of 32   End
User Details are only visible to members.
First we read profiles thoroughly, we don't send to people if they state how much they work out, if they want people that are HWP because we realize we are not, also if we feel there might not be a good balance amongst the four of us....no one needs to "take one for the team". So what we send is thought out and not just random or on a whim. Yet so many do not have the decency to respond and the "no response is a response" is ridiculous. That is just out right rude and disrespectful. Be thankful you get so many e-mails, if your to busy why are you on here everyday, if you have no time to answer an e-mail how are you gonna have time to chat or play, if you are getting to many e-mails be more descriptive to who you are looking for, maybe your profile is to vague. We do agree that it is very frustrating receiving e-mails that are poorly written or you can tell that they blatantly didn't read your profile and what your looking for giving them the cold shoulder could be justified, but when someone sends an e-mail and you feel there just wouldn't be any chemistry at least respond back with a no thanks. Sorry....but this is one of our biggest complaints about the people on SLS specially those that claim that they are seeking friends.

Saddle Brook NJ
Username hidden
(150 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Oh wow. Ok, thanks for that. I am thick skinned and no worries on your candid (and kind) advice. I will see about tweaking. I do send "all around" body shots with messages (pvt photos), and unless the profile reads, "no face pics=no response", I have been currently leaving those out.

My thinking was that if someone weren't interested in the body shots or the profile, I'd rather hold back the face photo. The reason is (I agree w you that those I msg don't care) that I live in a VERY small-world community (SC) and whatever discrimination is elsewhere…here in the very buckle of the Bible belt…well you know the rest.

So I've held the face photos until interest in "all but that" is indicated. That way, I cut down on those shots being out there. I am sure it limits responses, as you indicate.

Thanks again for the advice. I will be tweaking.

Spartanburg SC
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
MoT, don't know if you got your "welcome" yet, but welcome.

A couple pieces of advice for you:

-as a single male you have a lot of competition. The odds are really in favor of those you are emailing, who have many, many single males to choose from. In order to be chosen, you need to stand out

-if you do not allow private - including face - pictures in your initial contact, most people will ignore you, broad shoulders be damned. You are probably knocking out 3/4 of your contactees by not including one.

- further to that point, they don't CARE as to WHY you "need to be discreet". If you are (seemingly) anything like the rest of us, we all need to be discreet. No pics = no response. If we set our profile to welcoming single males for even 48 hours, we will have 20 emails. Of those 20, probably 4 will be guys the Mrs finds attractive. If you have no open face pics, you're not considered.

- further even more to that point - your one pic is decent, but not even close to warranting further inquiry for some. I showed your pics to Mrs VA and she said "yeah that's good what else?". When I said "you need to ask if you want to see more" she said "OK so he's married or something forget it."

You seem like a decent guy so I'm being honest. Good luck.

Windermere FL
Username hidden
(21967 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Oh and I would add only that my messages are always personalized, gentlemanly yet and not rude or crass, while clearly expressing interest. (That is, I know that a crass or inappropriate message can rule out a person regardless of appearance.)

Spartanburg SC
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
This a a (probably common) topic but nonetheless good. I respond to all messages except the rare SM or male half of a couple that solicits non-hetero activity. My profile is very clear that I am solely straight. Otherwise I respond.

I am fairly new, and I was surprised when I don't get a response from a couple who didn't dissuade SMs in their profile (I read all before messaging), since my photo while discreet is not one many could outright rule out as appealing (except for not desiring a white SM). Furthermore, my profile has enough detail and is (I think) non-offensive and with "good content."

When someone responds with potential interest, then we'd exchange face ("PERSONAL" FOLDER) photos. I would typically with initial contact add front photo(s) that still obscured the face.

So unless a couple just didn't feel like the effort of responding, or was on a break without stating so in the profile, I never quite got the "no response." I do find it overall a bit rude, but don't sweat it in the end.

Spartanburg SC
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We used to respond to all emails until we got the "I hope you get AIDS and die," reply. Now, we rarely respond to profiles we aren't interested in. We just don't want to deal with the headache.

We are more likely to respond if people put some effort into the email, but all too often they are one or two lines, with little effort.

Cleveland OH
Username hidden
(4 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Sometimes, although I am not fond of this cliche', however, it seems appropriate in this case. So my thoughts are: "It is what it is". And not meant to be rude but I'm an xnavygal who loves her acronyms...my suggestion to you would be...QTIP=Quit Taking It Personal. People are people, and we are all the same yt different. xoxo

Milton FL
Username hidden
(2 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
ROFL @vabeach! Yeah, we've gotten a few of those as well. Usually a SM. Worse, any further communication with those guys is even less informative....

Tempe AZ
Username hidden
(216 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We used to reply to all emails. But that can become too much of a full time job, so now reply only to those we think might be a match. If someone has read your email and hasn't replied in a reasonable time, they're not interested. Works both ways, too. If we email someone and don't get a response, we don't send a second message.

Tempe AZ
Username hidden
(216 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
some people are just rude

Maryville TN
Username hidden
(1 post)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4
 1 to 10 of 32   End
TOPIC: No Response to Emails