Some dead-on responses and a topic I'm surprised doesn't come up more often in the Forums as reading signals at parties is difficult. We're still working on our own dance. We could add a lot, but here is just one item and it might sound harsh. If you're not interested in playing with a couple then excuse yourself after a reasonable time and continue to circulate - even if you are enjoying them! We'll sometimes find a great couple we like talking with, but have no intention of playing with, unfortunately we've found we have to excuse ourselves otherwise we take up their whole night and they take up ours. Personally, we wouldn't mind at all as we love to laugh and talk, but they WILL end up disapointed and often very upset when they discover we just liked talking with them. We've been able to establish friendships, but it was done over multiple parties and we were extremely calculating in the signals we sent. We were very careful with regard to touching, accepting dance requests, and flirting. We have no great solution to keeping swinger friends that you don't want to play with, but we're working on it. Sure we're they're to play, but we're also there to socialize with great LS couples - it's not easy to have your cake and eat it to.

Thanks for answering jk. From observation it seems to me that the women do the match-making. At our next event we'll see what happens.

yep, and the dance doesn't change a whole lot from one party to the next. as bdh said, if they're approaching you... also, keep in mind, everyone at the party knows what they are there for. sometimes the tricky part is finding out what level the other couple plays at. for us, if the conversation is going well, and there seems to be an all around attraction, k usually finds a minute or two alone with the other lady to ask a few questions, tame, moderate, wild. on the other hand, if they find a reason to excuse themselves within 10 minutes of you saying hi, there's a very good chance they are not interested. ;-) i know that may seem harsh, but eventually you may find yourself doing the same thing. i mean hey, if it's "game on", then it's "game on." no sense wasting all night chatting with a couple if it's going nowhere, i.e. you are soft swap and you discover the other couple is full swap. have fun.

And welcome to the Forums.

-M

Thanks for the help bdh.

If they are approaching you at a swingers club, they probably have some sort of interest in you. If they are making continuous eye contact with you for long periods of time, they most likely have some sort of interest in you. If they are finding reasons to touch you (arm, leg, hair, neck, shoulder, lower back) they definitely have some interest in you. Of course that all only applies if they approach you. If you approach them, it's a hell of alot harder to figure out, but (in my opinion) its' way more fun than waiting for someone to screw up the courage to talk to you. When in doubt, find an excuse to get close to them, such as smelling his/her cologne/perfume on their neck and perhaps your cheek brushes theirs, or moving a stray strand of hair from someones face behind their ear. It's all just one big dance, once you figure out where your feet go the rest of your body will follow. -M

Maybe we are just dense and are not picking up on the signals, but we are never sure if people are making polite conversation or if they are flirting. So far no one has come out and said "Take my wife please" LOL. But we are not sure what signals to be watching for? Help please !