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How to make a good first impression : Swingers Discussion 187556
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TOPIC: How to make a good first impression
Created by: AnEnglishmanInBoston The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I suppose that could cause numerous typos.

Belle Chasse LA
 
 
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Hard to type with one hand?

Whitehouse Station NJ
 
 
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My experience has been that the couples who want to IM rather than email, usually are those who like phone sex too, and for the same reasons. They get off when a guy describes what he would like to do to the wife. I keep my IM off by default and very rarely IM a couple, and then only if I already have contact with them.

Belle Chasse LA
 
 
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"Rude ppl will blow the sender off and considerate ppl will at least aknowledge the attempt even if only to say "thanks, but no thanks", whether it's an IM or email."

Do you randomly call your neighbors you do not know on the phone to discuss how hot you think their wife is? I'm betting not. Do you randomly send invitations to people you do not know for a party your throwing in your back yard? I'm betting no. Do you pass some couple on the street and walk up and invite them for drinks? I'm betting no again. My point? I created a profile so the viewer has a chance see who we are, what we're looking for and what we bring to the table. You in turn hypothetically have done the same thing. Therefore you read my profile and you send me a polite email inquiring if I have any interest in yours....pretty simple don't you agree. I do not read your profile and think to myself "Wow, I am just what they're looking for and so I shall invite myself over" In my opinion is exactly what one does when one IM's a complete stranger . You've invaded my space, you want an immediate reaction/response to YOU, you want to make conversation before I have even had a chance to "get to know you" via the information you you have provided in your profile. You are demanding my attention when I have yet decided if I feel we are even compatible. Somehow in your own mind you've decided that you "like " me/us and somehow convinced yourself that it should be enough to generate my/our interest in you. Exactly like an a phone solicitor selling windows who dials 200 numbers before hopefully making a sale, I hang up immediately....even if I need new windows !!!!! I want the chance to review your"product" read your reviews and determine whether the windows you are selling meet the needs of my house. Call me rude if you like but in my world before you start a conversation common curtsey dictates you introduce yourself.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Jack, when I read your profile it seemed to emphasize the desire to have friends doing vanilla activities rather than friends with benefits, so to speak. Since people on this website are primarily looking for sexual playmates, they may lose interest in you in the hope of finding someone else that meets their needs.

If you sincerely want more feedback about your profile, start a thread in the Better Profiles section. You and your wife seem like very nice people. It may just be the way your present yourselves that needs improvement.

Sheboygan Falls WI
 
 
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Scandl; no...no response at all. 90% of IM requests timeout, the other 10% are refused. Wasn't kidding about the mail, either. I've gone back through our 'sent' mail and perhaps 40% of it is never even read, some dating back Years. The rest is read but ignored. Is it us? does our profile turn ppl off? I dunno, but it's frustrating to write someone who lives three miles away and whose profile says they're looking for us, and be ignored. (sigh)

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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" I've IM'd ppl before when I ran across them online in SLS and thought that they looked interesting enough to as least say hello and chat a bit, rather like at a party."

Jack, when you IM'd people did they respond? Have you had any success finding playmates that way, as opposed to Mrs. Sav's suggestion?

Sheboygan Falls WI
 
 
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You keep trying Jack. Some send out 200-300 before they get a nibble.

Whitehouse Station NJ
 
 
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Savandwin; "Never IM anyone without first sending an introduction email and only IM if they responded with interest"? I've never heard that rule before, but could have missed class that day I suppose. I've IM'd ppl before when I ran across them online in SLS and thought that they looked interesting enough to as least say hello and chat a bit, rather like at a party. I can (and have) send out a hundred emails, of which 90 remain unread a year (!) later and the other ten are read and ignored, so where's the benefit there?

Rude ppl will blow the sender off and considerate ppl will at least aknowledge the attempt even if only to say "thanks, but no thanks", whether it's an IM or email.

Of course, that's only IMHO and subject to change without notice. (lol)

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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The most important thing when contacting anyone is to make sure you've read the profile thoroughly and that you meet each and every criteria they list. Never expect anyone to over look the fact that your profile doesn't reflect what they are looking for on every level.......and than expect to get ignored or turned down by most lol. That's just how it goes, never personalize their rejection. Never IM anyone without first sending an introduction email and only IM if they responded with interest. You're email should mention of what you liked about their profile specifically. Always always always give them immediate access to your gallery that includes clear face shots....save any sexually graphic photos for a later email should it go that far. Never suggest a meeting in the first email, just express you're interested. Never brag about your sexual abilities or your equipment. If you are complimenting on their photos be respectful and classy in your words. Check your email carefully for grammar and spelling errors before sending it.

I'm sure there are many other pitfalls but these to me are a good starting guideline.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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TOPIC: How to make a good first impression