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TOPIC: Hey_Newbies,_getting_yourself_a_mentor_can_mean_all_the_world_to_happy_swinging
Created by: tantric_explorer
Original Starting post for this thread:
If you are new to swinging let me give you some advice from a person who has done this for many years. Swinging is an amazing amount of fun if done the "right" way. But swinging also has its shares of pitfalls and problems. There are loads of creaps on swing sites. There are also lots of fantasy couples who never really intend on swinging. There are loads of head cases who use the lifestyle because they think its a dating service (check out AFF). Plus even when you find that first person or couple for your swing, so much can go wrong. So what do you do?

Its really prety simple. Get a mentor.

Everyone has problems with their first couple swing experiences. There are so many new feelings and new experiences it is most often overwhelming. The end result of whether you enjoy swinging ends up being how well you are prepared to deal with the bumps in the road as you make those first couple contacts.

A mentor can help you to anticipate and plan for problems. A mentor can help you identify boundaries that are real and workable. A mentor will help you plan for when you (or your partner) go beyond your planned boundaries. A mentor can help you to identify the issues you may have with your own sexuality. A mentor can even help you learn a few new techniques so you do not feel so awkward and clumsy when you first swing.

If you are a newbie, watch the profiles for comments about folks who are newbie friendly or people willing to be a mentor. A mentor should have at least 5 years experience in the lifestyle.

There are many choices we make in our lives. One of those choices might be for you to join this lifestyle. If you do it is within your grasp to make the choice into a positive aspect of your life that can enhance and even heal the love relationship of a couple. It is also in your graps to follow a path that might become unhappy and damage your relationship with your partner (the same holds true about damaging your ego if you are single). A mentor can help you bypass the bad and focus on the great things about swinging.

Godd swinging

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We would love to have few mentors.

Salisbury MD
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We would love to have few mentors.

Salisbury MD
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We would love to have few mentors.

Salisbury MD
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Definitely I'd love to have a mentor. I'm planning on going to a club soon to do a meet and greet and I will get someone there to show me around and introduce me. Anyone who wants to mentor me, let me know. Thanks.

Briarwood NY
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Where the heck were you Ms Tastycakes when we lived in Chesapeake?

Arrgh!

Windermere FL
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tasty: if you lived locally i would suggest hitting parties & meet n greets together. it is hard for SFs to schedule LS related friends unless it's on LS related "time" (at least for me and other SFs who are single parents). so i have a couple of SFs i am friends with (local) but it is often months between when we're able to "hang out" at events -- because they, like me, are also trying to meet potential SMs and couples. i have found that couples are the least likely to be "friends" in a mentoring sense (with one rare exception i met early in this go round).

i do exchange occasional texts with SF friends and also the one couple who are friends--but i have mostly branched out on my own.

what i *can* tell you is that most event organizers are happy to exchange a few messages before an event. they will also usually always greet you personally and also check in with you at least once during an event.

i have found the best approach for getting out at least for me has been at off premise no pressure meet & greet events.

hope that helps.

Bridgewater NJ
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I'm somewhat new to this site and like the mentoring idea as well. However, from personal experience, I have reached out to other SF who have been online for some years and even couples but, its been a no. The single women never respond and the couples do but, I have a feeling its always fromteh male half and it's never because they want to give me advice. Guess I'll just stick to the forums for now..lol

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Being new to this and being Mommy for 38 yrs.I have forgotten how to be sexy,would love a female that's local to me to help me shop and give me some pointers.

Hickory NC
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We are still very new to the site and lifestyle and love the mentor idea. Mrs openminded has often said that she wishes she had a friend in the lifestyle to talk to. We've met several couples but have only really played with one. Still waiting to find that second connection. Anyone in the Charleston, SC area interested?

Summerville SC
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Great thread and thanks so much for the advice. I'm glad I ran across this one. We are completely new to this, anxious to get started with our first meeting, but realizing going slow and being cautious is probably the best plan. Meeting a mentor in the Seattle area would be ideal since there is not much of a scene in Alaska that I can see. Our plan is to take a trip to Seattle for a long weekend, attend a club with a class for newbies, attend a party and perhaps meet a couple. We are hopeful to find a first experience before we go to take the "plunge" in Seattle though. Thanks again for the advice.

Anchorage AK
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TOPIC: Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging
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