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Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging : Swingers Discussion 51234101
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FORUMSSuccessful SwingingFirst ContactHey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging
TOPIC: Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging
Created by: tantric_explorer
Original Starting post for this thread:
If you are new to swinging let me give you some advice from a person who has done this for many years. Swinging is an amazing amount of fun if done the "right" way. But swinging also has its shares of pitfalls and problems. There are loads of creaps on swing sites. There are also lots of fantasy couples who never really intend on swinging. There are loads of head cases who use the lifestyle because they think its a dating service (check out AFF). Plus even when you find that first person or couple for your swing, so much can go wrong. So what do you do?

Its really prety simple. Get a mentor.

Everyone has problems with their first couple swing experiences. There are so many new feelings and new experiences it is most often overwhelming. The end result of whether you enjoy swinging ends up being how well you are prepared to deal with the bumps in the road as you make those first couple contacts.

A mentor can help you to anticipate and plan for problems. A mentor can help you identify boundaries that are real and workable. A mentor will help you plan for when you (or your partner) go beyond your planned boundaries. A mentor can help you to identify the issues you may have with your own sexuality. A mentor can even help you learn a few new techniques so you do not feel so awkward and clumsy when you first swing.

If you are a newbie, watch the profiles for comments about folks who are newbie friendly or people willing to be a mentor. A mentor should have at least 5 years experience in the lifestyle.

There are many choices we make in our lives. One of those choices might be for you to join this lifestyle. If you do it is within your grasp to make the choice into a positive aspect of your life that can enhance and even heal the love relationship of a couple. It is also in your graps to follow a path that might become unhappy and damage your relationship with your partner (the same holds true about damaging your ego if you are single). A mentor can help you bypass the bad and focus on the great things about swinging.

Godd swinging

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So THAT'S what happened! Thank you so much! Was wondering about that. Thanks very much for the critique :) We've been trying to update and polish it whenever we're able.

...and thank you again, lol. I don't remember the specifics of that post, but I do remember making it. Happy to have brought a smile!

Easton PA
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Funny.. I started an Open Forum thread re: mentoring some time ago, and most people thought it was rather dumb of me.

We were fortunate enough to have had 2 mentor-ish couples. One, our relationship with was very short, but they nonetheless brain-dumped a ton of info and thoughts our way. The other wasn't so much mentors as they were simply extremely patient with us as we worked our way through the early stages of this. We are grateful to both.

We've attempted to be to several couples, but we find they tend to vanish on us a lot. Maybe we just suck at it.

btw - Jimmy Jazz..

I saw your thread re: having your profile reviewed,. The reason that thread is "broken" is because you included a / character in it. Any special characters, including ?!, causes it to freeze up. But as a general comment, I remember when you first showed up, and your profile has improved a lot since. You had some pretty scruffy looking pics of yourself at the time and you've got better ones now.

You still made one of my favorite posts of all time on here:

Just posting...from my...tablet....to tell...you all...that I'm....too popular...to care...what you say....about me...which I prove....by obsessively refreshing...this forum thread...and ignoring...my party...to post in...

Raleigh NC
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We've been on the site a while and have gone to a couple Meet and Greets, but have yet to really dive in. We could really use a mentor(s) to help us out!

Easton PA
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Hi, we are new to this site and the lifestyle and would appreciate some honest and safe insight as to how to proceed with this adventure.. Please msg us if you think you would be willing to help. Thanks

Leesburg FL
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We are new. Definitely could use a mentor.

San Francisco CA
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Welcome to the forums Rickand Tammy

The forums are filled with a wealth of information . At the top of the page you can type in a keyword on almost any topic and get lots of advice....I won't say it is all good but will surely answer most questions. You you could go to the getting started topic and ask any questions you like. I'd caution you on anyone who wanted to mentor, you not everyone has your best interests at heart in such instances.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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If anyone is in the south jersey/Delaware(Wilmington) area and wouldn't mind a lil challenge, I would love to have a mentor.

Alloway NJ
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I doubt I will get a reply but I will give it a shot. Being a single male on this site, I see it can be pretty tough getting responses. I opted not to send any emails. I can just imagine tons of men emailing couples and single females, BUT.... I would not mind finding a mentor. It sounds very interesting and fun. If anyone is interested feel free to contact me!

Jacksonville NC
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Thats kinda what I've already done --without even seeing this post. I have found 2 couples who I have not met yet but are in my area, and they have years of experience in the lifestyle. And they have allowed me to ask any questions I have. And I have asked quiet a few ;-) But they have made me feel very comfrotable and at ease and I can chat freely. I do agree this is a great idea!

Shell Lake WI
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There are plenty of cpls on SLS with bi or bi-curious ladies, so that shouldn't be a problem. If you keep your eyes and options open, and allow yourself time, you'll cross paths with several in your area, I'm sure. Is it essential that a mentor be local? If you're looking for someone who can share information, provide encouragement and guidance, then I'd say no. If you're looking for someone who would also be available for play-dates, then probably yes. Be aware that if you limit yourself to local ppl only, you restrict your possibilities.

When we first because interested in the LS, we crossed paths with a very nice cpl in NJ. We never did get to meet, but they were very kind and supportive and helped us immensely.


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TOPIC: Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging