Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging: Swingers Discussion 51234

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TOPIC: Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging

Created by: tantric_explorer Original Starting post for this thread:
If you are new to swinging let me give you some advice from a person who has done this for many years. Swinging is an amazing amount of fun if done the "right" way. But swinging also has its shares of pitfalls and problems. There are loads of creaps on swing sites. There are also lots of fantasy couples who never really intend on swinging. There are loads of head cases who use the lifestyle because they think its a dating service (check out AFF). Plus even when you find that first person or couple for your swing, so much can go wrong. So what do you do? Its really prety simple. Get a mentor. Everyone has problems with their first couple swing experiences. There are so many new feelings and new experiences it is most often overwhelming. The end result of whether you enjoy swinging ends up being how well you are prepared to deal with the bumps in the road as you make those first couple contacts. A mentor can help you to anticipate and plan for problems. A mentor can help you identify boundaries that are real and workable. A mentor will help you plan for when you (or your partner) go beyond your planned boundaries. A mentor can help you to identify the issues you may have with your own sexuality. A mentor can even help you learn a few new techniques so you do not feel so awkward and clumsy when you first swing. If you are a newbie, watch the profiles for comments about folks who are newbie friendly or people willing to be a mentor. A mentor should have at least 5 years experience in the lifestyle. There are many choices we make in our lives. One of those choices might be for you to join this lifestyle. If you do it is within your grasp to make the choice into a positive aspect of your life that can enhance and even heal the love relationship of a couple. It is also in your graps to follow a path that might become unhappy and damage your relationship with your partner (the same holds true about damaging your ego if you are single). A mentor can help you bypass the bad and focus on the great things about swinging. Godd swinging

Created by: tantric_explorer
Original Starting post for this thread:

If you are new to swinging let me give you some advice from a person who has done this for many years.  Swinging is an amazing amount of fun if done the "right" way.  But swinging also has its shares of pitfalls and problems.  There are loads of creaps on swing sites.  There are also lots of fantasy couples who never really intend on swinging.  There are loads of head cases who use the lifestyle because they think its a dating service (check out AFF).  Plus even when you find that first person or couple for your swing, so much can go wrong.  So what do you do?

Its really prety simple.  Get a mentor.  

Everyone has problems with their first couple swing experiences.  There are so many new feelings and new experiences it is most often overwhelming. The end result of whether you enjoy swinging ends up being how well you are prepared to deal with the bumps in the road as you make those first couple contacts.

A mentor can  help you to anticipate and plan for problems.  A mentor can help you identify boundaries that are real and workable.  A mentor will help you plan for when you (or your partner) go beyond your planned boundaries.  A mentor can help you to identify the issues you may have with your own sexuality.  A mentor can even help you learn a few new techniques so you do not feel so awkward and clumsy when you first swing.

If you are a newbie, watch the profiles for comments about folks who are newbie friendly or people willing to be a mentor.  A mentor should have at least 5 years experience in the lifestyle.

There are many choices we make in our lives.  One of those choices might be for you to join this lifestyle.  If you do it is within your grasp to make the choice into a positive aspect of your life that can enhance and even heal the love relationship of a couple.  It is also in your graps to follow a path that might become unhappy and damage your relationship with your partner (the same holds true about damaging your ego if you are single).    A mentor can help you bypass the bad and focus on the great things about swinging.

Godd swinging

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User Details are only visible to members.	If anyone is in the south jersey/Delaware(Wilmington) area and wouldn't mind a lil challenge, I would love to have a mentor.
Alloway NJ			Username hidden (16 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	This just proves I should have been spending more time reading the Forums rather than going for the Chat Rm.. Mentoring, it so logical. Don't know why I didn't think of it. Thanks for bringing the subject up. Okay, so, if there's anyone in my area, with at least 4 to 5 yrs. experience, would you consider mentoring me? I'm single and straight so the single part is a challenge. OR, if you know of someone could you direct me. Sure would appreciate it.
Redford MI			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I doubt I will get a reply but I will give it a shot. Being a single male on this site, I see it can be pretty tough getting responses. I opted not to send any emails. I can just imagine tons of men emailing couples and single females, BUT.... I would not mind finding a mentor. It sounds very interesting and fun. If anyone is interested feel free to contact me!
Jacksonville NC			Username hidden (7 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thats kinda what I've already done --without even seeing this post. I have found 2 couples who I have not met yet but are in my area, and they have years of experience in the lifestyle. And they have allowed me to ask any questions I have. And I have asked quiet a few ;-) But they have made me feel very comfrotable and at ease and I can chat freely. I do agree this is a great idea!
Shell Lake WI			Username hidden (7 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	There are plenty of cpls on SLS with bi or bi-curious ladies, so that shouldn't be a problem. If you keep your eyes and options open, and allow yourself time, you'll cross paths with several in your area, I'm sure. Is it essential that a mentor be local? If you're looking for someone who can share information, provide encouragement and guidance, then I'd say no. If you're looking for someone who would also be available for play-dates, then probably yes. Be aware that if you limit yourself to local ppl only, you restrict your possibilities. When we first because interested in the LS, we crossed paths with a very nice cpl in NJ. We never did get to meet, but they were very kind and supportive and helped us immensely.
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (628 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks Jack and/or Darlene. My problem is that I have a very, very slight bi- curiosity and do not want any pressure at all to be with a woman. I prefer men, adore them , crave them, and love pleasing them. On rare occasion (extremely rare) I have met a woman that I was interested in, but I have never done anything about it before. I agree that most of the SM I have met on here so far... seem to tell me what ever I want to hear. What I would love is to get advice from a single woman on how to meet a SM safely as possible. I do understand there will always be some element of risk involved. Is there a couple out there that has a single man the see on occasion looking for a possible swinging partner?
Tucson AZ			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hiker; I suspect that the advise to hook up with a couple was not so much that you should consider playing with a couple as that they can advise you from both sides of the aisle. The M half has his perspective, the F half has her perspective. There are plenty of SM's on SLS, and I don't doubt that most of them will say whatever they think they need to say to get under the sheets with you. There is a reason why SM's struggle in the lifestyle. Most (but not all) of them are simply horny and could care less about the ladies experience. Further, I suspect (but can't prove) that couples last longer than SM's in the lifestyle and hence have a deeper and broader pool of experience to draw on. Hope that it works out well for you, whatever you end up doing! :-)
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (628 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am a new single female to the site and would love a mentor that can help me learn to do this as safely as possible. I have been told to hook up with couples but I sexually prefer to please men. Any help and advise would be appreciated, Thanks
Tucson AZ			Username hidden (4 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Having a mentor would be a great idea. I swung with a couple for a while twenty years ago, and it was great and lasted a couple of years. I have been trying to get into LS for almost 9 months and it has been tough. But I can imagine the complexity and dynamics of the new relationship, because I experienced some... Having a mentor online or in person would be great for me right now. I am not progressing despite my good efforts. I am from the National Capital Region in Canada and maybe it is too small a city. Any advice would be great!
Hull Canada			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Anyone care to mentor a couple in El Paso, Tx. My wife is somewhat reluctant and needs a females perpesctive on the lifestyle which I, unfortunately, cannot provide.
El Paso TX			Username hidden (5 post)

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TOPIC: Hey Newbies, getting yourself a mentor can mean all the world to happy swinging

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