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FORUMS Successful Swinging First Contact Help, I blew it big time!
TOPIC: Help, I blew it big time!
Created by: red8x6 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Im my own personal opinion I think they were very rude. To me it sounds like they may have gotten cold feet? Either way, I think it was rude, they should have said something. Shelly


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I have to agree with Jim. Our most successful meetings (except for meeting Jim and Mrs. Valovers) were as a result of attending functions with other couples we've already met. It's that six degrees of separation thing, I suppose. Of course, you still have to have the gumption to make at least a couple of independent contacts. We've found that if you are lucky, you will form a relationship with a couple or two who have extensive contacts. If you click with them, you'll most likely click with their friends, too. If you stick with it, you find you have a nice circle of reliable friends. That has worked for us and hope it does for you too.

Phil

Bowie MD
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I try very hard to screen couples as potentially compatible playmates before we ever agree to meet by CAREFULLY reading their profiles to see what their preferences are, what they are looking for, and what they are NOT looking for. If we don't meet all of THEIR criteria, and they don't meet all of OURS, then I won't contact them. If someone contacts US, and I see that we don't meet all their criteria, I will call their attention to that and ask if they overlooked our departure from what they are looking for, or if they are interested in meeting us regardless. Sometimes they just hadn't carefull read our profile and decide they really don't want to meet. Sometimes they tell us there is something so interesting about us that they want to meet us anyway.

We usually exchange several emails, learning more about each other than what profiles tell us. And since we've been swingers for over 10 years, we have a pretty well developed sense of who might be a good match and who probably isn't.

We have only been stood up once in 10 years, I suppose because I screen so well in advance of setting up a meeting. Still, out of every 5 couples we meet, we will find that neither of us is interested in one, only one of us is interested in three, and only one out of that five will appeal to us both.

Such are the realities of meeting couples one at a time. Clubs are too far away for us, so the way we've met most couples we've clicked with has been at Meet 'n' Greets or at private house parties at the homes of friends who are already our playmates. The latter has turned out to be the best way of all for us to meet couples we both like. It seems that couples whom we both like and have become friends who host house parties are likely to have friends who appeal to us too.

Jim

South Riding VA
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When we first started meeting people in person who we originally met online, about 20% of them simply stood us up without a word. Of the ones we actually met, 95% of them were just kicking the tires, and weren't actually ready to swing. The last 5% were at least 10 years older than us, and it showed.

San Francisco CA
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Occasionally though things go wrong when people say they want to meet. Someone comes home after planning for a "date" all day to find they have a headache and really aren't feeling up to going out. We've had a couple we were really interested in tell us because we told the truth about not wanting to meet when we'd planned to, that they didn't want any further contact. It's sad too when you ARE honest about why you can't meet when planned and you get penalized for it, but it happens and you chalk it up to a learning experience. Just don't let it keep you from looking, because there really are couples out there. As a single guy, you're fighting a negative stereo-type, but if you keep that feeling of "being honored" you mentioned. . . And remember as you said it was her first 3-some, some people get right to the point that they've said they want this, they've really dreamed of it, and when the moement gets there the fear is more then they can take. As the others said it isn't about you so much then. Warm wishes of successful future encounters. Rachael

Clovis CA
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From what little we can see of you, you're pretty darned hot, too!

We're really thinking of trying to put together some kind of trip this coming summer. Heck, I'd go now, but Bunny would freeze her little tail off! After all, it ain't wool; she's a cottontail! ;)

Clovis CA
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FresClovisCpl: we saw your pics, and if you do... Stay at our place in Nashville during your trip !!! (you are HOT)

(kisses) Tawney

Nashville TN
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Heck, Valovers, we took one look at your pics and decided we'd never stand you up, either!

Bummer that some of the most-interesting people seem to be sooo far away!

We're going to have to find the time to get our motorcycle to drag us around the country, I guess.

I wonder if it would be possible to map out a three-week tour and never stay in a hotel. ;)

Clovis CA
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We've only been stood up one time.

Maybe we're just lucky.

I think, though, it's our charm! ROFL

South Riding VA
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FresClovis, we've been in the same boat as you. We agree that it isn't just the newbies who decide to play games. Supposedly experienced couples do the same. Unfortunately, "cold feet" apparently happens to a lot of people at one time or another. We've taken breaks, we've bitched to each other about the "stand ups" and the "no shows", but overall, the folks we've met in the lifestyle were a friendly bunch. Hang in there, and this goes for the original poster too - for all the fakes and flakes, there are a lot of us "real" people out there who would never think of not showing for a meeting....we don't think any swinger is "disposable".

S

Cambridge VT
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TOPIC: Help, I blew it big time!