The problem with the single males that have a high opinion of themselves is that they aren't thinking with their big brain, they are using the one in their pants.

There some gentlemen on the site...they are the ones that use their big brain when they contact couples.

Heather

It really sucks hearing stuff like this and at the same time a very good reason why the "single male" seems to be typically frowned upon. Maybe it is all the baby batter on the brain that make so many single guys go off tilt. Its like kindness, respect, courtesy, humility, and just common sense go out the window. I think too many "single guys" try to come into the lifestyle expecting it to be the swinging 70's or what they watch in their porn movies, you know wham, bam, thanks maam. Personally half the fun of the lifestyle to me is meeting people, chatting a bit, laughing, learning, and then being invited into their fantasies and desires completes the other half of the lifestyle fun. Hell I just wanted sex there are many massage parlours and ads on Craigslist for that.

Arg... what is wrong with these people????? So, I just got a chat ping from someone. I pull up the profile. Typical lame profile. age, height, weight straight, bi. Looking for safe descrete fun with another couple... must be d/d free. Same virtual boiler plate that so many have. So, I open the chat. "Male half here. I'd love to join you and wife for MFM. Interested?" My response is the very honest, I don't know. We get a dozen mails a day on a slow day. You're going to have to say something to make yourself stand out. Send an email with something that she'll find interesting. Mybe you'll stand out. Then he starts to get all pissy. Well, that is what the profile is for. Well, other than it not saying you're allowed to play alone, there is nothing in it to make you stand out good or bad. I tried to start over. So, are we interested? Don't know. You'll have to tell us more. Well, that isn't me, he says, and he leaves mad. Look guys, I'm not f'n with you just to f with you. We don't get cheap thrills watching you jump through hoops. Simple truth is we are getting dozens upon dozens of "are you interested in me?" responses. There better be something that makes you stand out. If you don't want to go through the effort, then you may as well jsut give it up. On the flip side, a couple guys are getting it. After I put in our profile that they need to do something to try to make themselves stand out, a few have done very well. Very few.

The Holy Grail of the swinging couple is the single bi female wanting to join them. Well, my wife and I are the Holy Grail of the a single male. Looking for single guy to help me give my wife a special occasion. You can imagine the volume of mail we get. A dozen or mail a day and plenty of people trying to chat. And yet, the vast majorty of guys have SUCH lame first contacts. The vast majority are just so lame. I'd love to join you, so check my profile and let me know. Then you look at the profile and it has the state. Age, ht, wgt. Looking to have wild sexual encounter with couple or female. So, you ping them back. Tell us more about you and what you're looking for. We get back the stats again, and "whatever you want". Come on guys! Then there is another type. The way too agressive. "I may be able to, but first I have to know if she does...." Dismissed. "Sounds great, but I have to do it in the next 3 days before my wife gets back into town." Dismissed. Then there is the guy that says he's single, but you start to get the vibe he's not so single. He's on for like an hour in the morning. Doesn't show up for chat at times he said he could talk. Try to arrange a meeting... "well, I can't do dinner or evenings, but could we meet at lunch hour near my work?" It got to the point that I had to update my profile with instructions to the guys because such a high % were getting tossed in the trash just based on the lame profile/first contact.