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Dos and Donts for First Contact : Swingers Discussion 48641
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TOPIC: Dos and Donts for First Contact
Created by: Webmaster
Original Starting post for this thread:
Don't write your first mail asking is someone wants to fuck tonight, maybe they do, but that's not a good first impression to make.

Do treat everyone with respect, if you're not interested, say so.

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Don't send an email without reading their profile and be polite when turned the fuck down not an asswipe

Tucson AZ
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If a profile says..let me contact.. let them contact ..so simple.

Spring TX
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So is it considered rude not to introduce yourselves in your first message? We've had a few people that did but we're kinda scared to introduce ourselves to someone we'd rather not know we're swinging (i.e. someone who we know professionally) by accident.

Las Cruces NM
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Hey PittCouple - Glad you've reached that conclusion - we agree with you completely about the two types (they seem to come in roughly equal quantities too). Nothing's worse than the story from the newbie couple we recently chatted with whose first 4 drink meetings were with people who wanted same-day hook-ups... they were under the impression that's what was expected and were adjusting their own expectations to needing to do that despite not wanting to. We told them what you guys have already learned - there are plenty of people who actually want to have their minds seduced, not just their bodies, and that they should be patient and wait for similar people. Good for you for knowing what you want - wish you lived in the Boston area!


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We agree with most these "dos and don'ts" we joined about a week or two ago and we're swamped with a lot of "let's hook up" and "let's go out for drinks tonight" responses. The hook-up ones were immediately deleted, and we politely responded to the drink ones with replies that stated we really needed to find out a little more about you before we agreed to meet.

We've discovered that there are more or less two types of lifestyle people on here (regardless of your sexual interests): those who want to hook up immediately (and we're assuming just for the thrill, then move on to the next couple), and those who actually want some type of ongoing friendship/relationship with the people they meet. We're definitely looking for the latter!


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This is an older thread, but I wanted to say something. This is SO TRUE! I absolutely adore gentlemen. Not necessarily a gentleman in the bedroom lol, but a man who treats me with respect. I cannot say enough for how nice it is when a man treats me like a lady.


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We've mentioned this before but we're still amazed that people will not pay the "tiny" fee to be a paid member. Membership allows you to actually see the people you are reaching out to. Or don't you care? Also...what is with people who won't post a pic on their profile, but want to see yours? We are approached weekly by couples like this. They want to chat, meet out for a drink or have sex right away...but either they can't see our pics ( free members) or they have no pics of their own on their profile.

Higganum CT
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Even that is no guarantee. We met a couple whose pictures looked very attractive, only to find out that the pictures were 20 years old and had been air-brushed to remove all the acne scars from their faces!

Jim

South Riding VA
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Single Guy First Contact ?

heh heh...the single guy "problem" if that's what you want to call it, is that many aren't used to sharing... in the way that a married couple is.

So just how do you get the most out of such an encounter ?

We occasionally (but rarely) hookup with single males, but on the times we do, we do it with a purpose...example...picking up a hottie for her "live" without too much pre planning and blindfolding her...for him...strict rules...eat her, fuck her blindfolded and leave...it's our fantasy and if I need a chat I'll call my friends or therapist !!

Somewhat crass but brings a different perspective....

Lastly, don't call again means it...how many of you have had the continual follow up email of ... "do you want to do it again" email ? LOL.

Austin TX
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single guys complain they get rejected too often on here - so here is some advice from a couple that would like to help - single guys can be the dumbest animal alive when approaching couples. they must think couples sit around waiting for a message? we get 400 messages a year, yet we might play with 4 - a 1% chance. when the 396 write 'wow, nice pics, let's meet for a drink, i am nice, i am talented/endowed, let's chat, i will split the room with you...' they should post their pic with a neon 'idiot' sign lit on their forehead! what is worse, our lengthy profile actually tells single males how to approach us, and how not to approach us - 396 use the wrong approach! the lucky 1% are guys who read our profile and send us a personalized-to-us letter. they approach as they would approach a date they would like to wind up in bed with, offering things to make for an enjoyable time, as if they do not want anything in return - those guys might get something in return! :) dale carnegie said, 'if you want to fill your bucket with water, the fastest way is to give people water out of your bucket.' a few get carried away, offering to fly us to vegas, europe, etc. but those who suggest something more realistic, things they would suggest to a date (boat/limo ride, flowers, lingerie, hot tub, swimming pool, champagne, dinner, concert, golf, massage..), sure get our attention versus splitting a motel room! we hope we have helped.... d&m

Sumpter Twp MI
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TOPIC: Dos and Donts for First Contact