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Don't take Not Interested Gracefully : Swingers Discussion 62824
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TOPIC: Don't take Not Interested Gracefully
Created by: curvedhumor
Original Starting post for this thread:
We recently had an encouter that left us less then pleased. A couple atleast the male half sent us a few emails of which a politely answered but told them they were out of our league. We are very new and there profile led one to beleive they were very experianced and more then what we were ready for. They tried to explain that was not so I continued to talk with them/him. Once I explained again to them what we were looking for, person replied that they did not do that but to contact them when we did what they wanted. I politely said thanks but I did not feel we would be contacting anytime soon. He sent a ill worded reply an told us we were blocked from their profile. Not that we really cared but we felt this was not the best way to handle things.. Does this happen often. I did not want to just leave them hanging..so many complain of that...

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Honestly, I had forgotten about the ability to block them. Thanks for the reminder. It's time to do that.

Most of our hits from SMs on this site come from IMs. I turned that function off.

Charleston WV
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We can't speak for anyone else, but the blocking of single males works great for us. We didn't have it on for the first few months and must have gotten 100 emails from single men when our profile stated we weren't interested in them. Since then, we've had a couple single men sneak through disguised as couples. Usually, after the first few emails we figure out who they really are. If it's a truly single guy and we have the email(s) to prove so, we will report them to the moderators. Otherwise, we just block them individually as they come.

Littleton CO
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We would rather get a "not interested" then no response at all. But we'd rather receive no response at all than an impolite one. It's too bad people forget there are human beings behind screennames, but that is a problem online in general and in no way unique to lifestyle.

As for this: "Sadly, most people, especially men, don't read profiles."

Curious if this is based on some statistic or study presented on the site? Or just experience? Not trying to be critical in any way, just asking out of interest, BTW.

We reads every profile and are trying if we send contact or reply that we point out specific things in the profile so it's clear that we read the profile.

Puyallup WA
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Just had to chime in on a couple of points here:

Sadly, most people, especially men, don't read profiles. We get a LOT of mail from single men. Our profile clearly states that we're only interested in meeting couples. We just no longer feel compelled to respond to people who don't read the profile. People who show that kind of disrespect don't deserve a response.

If someone turns us down, we don't think we're entitled to a reason. That goes both ways. Just not interested in letting someone engage us in an argument. No good will be served by that.

If the answer is no, move on.

Charleston WV
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Thanks for the info = TFTI

Yes, weekend went very well. Enjoy the rest of your day!

Littleton CO
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Thanks Wanna.

Littleton CO
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DakiniGrrl... not familiar with that acronym? Thanks in advace for the clarification.

Littleton CO
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Agree G.

Littleton CO
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I would definitely point people to your profile, Wanna...it is one of the best I've read.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Here's a curveball that was thrown to us this evening. We'll refer to our response as US and their's as THEM. Apparently, this profile is 2 couples (4 people) too cheap to actually each have their own profiles yet, from what we can tell, are not in a poly relationship. Please ignore the grammar, especially "THEM". It's copied just as they sent it. And by the way, while we are not judgmental of others, we tend to shy away from poly relationships because of the emotions that can get involved. They are a new member (less than 5 days old)

THEM:

hi

US:

While we appreciate the contact, your profile isn't straight forward. While you do admit you are two couples, we would find it more honest to have two couples with separate profiles that refer to each other. Additionally, please take some time and fill in your profile. It is hard enough to find two people that we are compatible with, let alone 4 that are "committed" or whatnot. G-rated pics and a well written profile will go a long way, especially when you're trying to attract a 3rd couple into an already well established poly-amorous relationship. Lastly, we are very cautious about playing with couples that are in such relationships. It's not judgmental on our part, just that we don't seek to build any relationships outside of potential friendship and playtime with those we are in the LS with. Thanks and good luck.

THEM:

its not like that we just do stuff together we have known each other for 9 yrs so we are good friends not sure what you ment in your e-mail

US:

We see that your profile is new. It is not common for multiple couples to share a profile unless they are in a poly-amorous relationship. Additionally, your profile, and I quote "....we are 2 cpls that have been married for along time..." If you are not in a poly relationship, then so be it. For multiple couples to share a profile when they are not in a poly relationship, it's just cheap in our opinion. We'd rather see two free profiles, one for each couple, than one written as yours. Not to be critical, but a well written profile goes a long way. While we admit in our profiles we use a few smilies and LOL's, we take care to be grammatically correct. It makes a huge difference in (a) the readability of a profile and (b) making sure you communicate what you want or don't want. Also, a well written email goes a long way too. As you should have realized, we are both bisexual. However, as 4 people in your group, we don't necessarily know what each person's orientation is. We hope this helps although it may not be what you want to hear. Thanks.

THEM:

its not like that were just good friends

US:

(Unfortunately, this last part got a bit testy as apparently, being nice wasn't getting through to them)

Ok, so you don't get it. Please read the last email. We don't care whether or not you're in a poly relationship at this point. It doesn't matter. As of now, whichever one of the four of you are writing emails, you are not doing anything to stimulate us at all. Please heed the advice in the first two emails about writing a good profile, potentially splitting the profile into two profiles if you don't want people thinking all of you are in a poly relationship, and posting some G-rated pics. Additionally, please take time to write a DECENT email. One line responses typically will not get anyone's attention and the dues you paid for the membership will be for naught. Thanks again for the contact but we are not interested. At this point, please do not reply or you will be blocked.

Littleton CO
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TOPIC: Don't take Not Interested Gracefully