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FORUMS Successful Swinging First Contact Being a new couples first
TOPIC: Being a new couples first
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Hello There

Well let me start off by saying that we were all new at first , remember back to when you first started , or if your new too then let me say , the first meetings are ALWAYS awkward i don't care how long you been doing it , because of that very reason , you will never know your limits until you have crossed them , the way we try to overcome them is by being up front , direct and by stating our limits then ask them theirs , that way you know up front , we have broken in quite a few newbies over the years and they have always come back for more because of us finding out what they are comfortable with before things go to far , as to your story i honestly believe they were not ready and that he had some issues with seeing his wife have a good time without him being a part of it , since he wasn't dancing with your wife and you 2 were having all the fun i'm sure he felt left out and seeing her have fun without him was not what he expected or wanted . hope this helps , good luck , be safe and have fun

Seymour TN
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Have not enjoyed reading a thread this much in a while. Really great, real life experiences in the lifestyle in here. Somehow, we have managed to escape the horror story scenarios (so far). We are more than willing to "escort" a new couple into the lifestyle, but have not done so yet. We love developing our "swingstincts" (that's not "swing stinks" it means "swinging instincts"). Society (and especially religion) does not train ANYone for this lifestyle. You have to learn it, live it, *then* love it.

Experience 1: mr. ek was (most unpleasantly) surprised about the soft weenus thing. The first time I saw a (undeniably well-endowed) cock enter mrs. ek's mouth, I went flaccid almost instantly. Hardly what I expected based on our pillow talk. Similarly, when mrs. ek had her first girl/girl experience I was solely concentrating on her pleasure (as was her guy; we later learned it was the other girl's first FF experience, too!) and was not all rock hard as the fantasy 'expected'. Lessons learned: Don't be dissappointed to find that reality fails the fantasy once the fantasy becomes reality. But! Give it until the second or third go and then hang on for the WOW!

Experience 2: Christ, it must have been 3 or 4 in the morning at the club and this one couple was STILL arguing at the top of the stairs (and in what would pass for street clothing, which is a total no-no in the play area). mrs. ek got off our bed and (in the nude, of course) told them to "Take it home!" The guy said, "Yes, we should take it downstairs." (out of the playrooms), and mrs. ek was even more stern: "No! take it HOME until you have your issues resolved!" Lesson learned: Don't be afraid to get a bit stern with a couple that obviously has issues. It brings the whole atmosphere down, and that is a bummer for everyone.

mr. ek

Mukilteo WA
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I don't think there is a way of catching this. If the new couple is not upfront with their concerns you will always run into situations like this. The most you can do is watch their body language and reactions. But that can be frustrating b/c then it is difficult being yourself.

Unfortunately, we have found your situation does not only apply to newbies but seasoned swingers too.

Lansing MI
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Scotty, thats funny shit. Very true, but funny none the less

Lemoore CA
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I don't know how to be anything but blunt. Us PA boys just call em' like we see em'.

And we don't like whinney man-bitches.

Lake Worth FL
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Couples don't care about your needs. If there is a MFM it's for her benefit, any pleasure you get is strictly a side bonus. Stop whinning women don' tlike whinny man-bitches."

Scotty, Thoreau, Whitman, Hemmingway and Elliot have nothing on you. Ouch! My man Scott you know I think you are awesome lol, but do you have to be soooooo blunt? LOL. Jay, being a Pa man himself, said thats just how its done. LOL. Man, remind me not to piss you off!! Shell


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You rock Scotty.....

Jay!!!


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rookie try a singles dating site, you sound too desperate.

Destin FL
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Rookie,

Couples don't care about your needs. If there is a MFM it's for her benefit, any pleasure you get is strictly a side bonus.

Stop whinning women don' tlike whinny man-bitches.

Lake Worth FL
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Hey, we all had a first and started somewhere. I know with us, special consideration is given when we are a couple's first. Be honest and let a couple know that you have never done this before. Be honest about any apprehensions you are feeling. With Jay and I, if we are a couple's first we enter with absolutely no expectations to play....actually we enter in thinking that we probably will not play. Things are moved at a slower pace. I won't go into full flirt mode with hubby for instance, I usually will watch her with Jay. If she is comfortable and they are flirting and kissing than I will proceed. I do honestly expect some level of erectile dysfunction....I mentally do not expect it to work. Its not his fault. This is new, he is worrying about his wife is she having fun, is she freaking out, etc. etc. This is why alot of experienced couples do not play with newbies, they don't have the patience for going so slowly with the possibility of no play at the end...lets face it, you may end up with an upset hubby or crying wife. However, we all have to start somewhere and if no one ever gives newbies a chance how will they ever become experienced? LoL. Shelly


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TOPIC: Being a new couples first