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FORUMS Successful Swinging First Contact And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
Created by: columbiacouple27
Original Starting post for this thread:
Got an email from a couple recently that quite frankly hadn't really read our profile and were clearly not what we are looking for. We sent them a pretty standard reply basically saying thanks for the email but we're not interested. Got a nastygram back from them basically telling us what losers we are and how after looking at our profile again they're not really interested in us either. We try to reply to every email we get, but this kind of thing is SUCH a turn off that I really can understand why people take the position that no response is really it's own form of response.

C&C

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two messages from the same guy, first contact. he smokes, states in his profile that he's sort of bicurious and is interested in exploring that, and both of his opening messages say "let's chat to meet"

(a read of my profile says he obviously *didn't* read it before messaging me.)

time for the "really, dude?" button again.

Manville NJ
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mrno: mostly everyone receives a polite response from me, even yesterday's message received a thanks but no thanks.

when the writer of a message to me shows so little effort in engaging my interest at the outset...it fosters a belief in my mind that as little (possibly less) effort will be put forth elsewhere. i could be wrong of course, but the little free time that i have for pursuing further acquaintance is too precious to expend only to find out my first impression was accurate. so i politely decline.

Manville NJ
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njnybiwfemme, I would be happy to get an e-mail like that.<g>

Some people who are not interested in me send a polite "no thank you". Good to know there are nice people on SLS. For those who do not respond, I tell myself they are busy with little time to respond to a single male. It makes my life easier not to get angry about such things.

Miami FL
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this morning's message of the day:

"if u wanna relax 1 day let me know"

gee...thanks?

Manville NJ
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thanks BT, i knew somehow you'd pick up on that.

nice to...disturb the...force.

;)

Manville NJ
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It's that Virtue of Selfishness meets War and Peace that gets me in trouble.

Greg, I'm traveling this week and have been sending a few intro emails with very few responses, even of the canned variety. One thing I have noticed is that in this area, many folks have free accounts; Well developed with photos, etc, but still free. So, they're limited to 5 emails a day and I'd bet money they won't waste those on regrets. No matter how strictly they adhere to the teachings of Emily Post, The Swingers Version.

Check out some of the other threads here around SM success and heed the advice given by both couples and singles...and be patient.

Good luck,

BT

NJ...ad infinitum?...You've caused a rather nice disturbance in the force with that one ;-)

New Orleans LA
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@ greg: welcome (back) to the forums.

something more substantive than "hey" but less than "atlas shrugged" is a good middle ground.

"hello" and one line e mails, per the text in my profile: automatic deletes.

if a person reaching out can't have the respect to try to at least string together a decent introduction, i am not interested in finding out in what other ways they will show a lack of respect for me/my preferences. period.

and as has been discussed ad infinitum, a no response is in itself a response. it may not be polite, but it is a response. when someone takes the time to put together a halfway decent introduction, if i am not interested, i respond with thank you but sorry type note.

there are many reasons many folks don't do that, starting with the "but why" and (my least favorite) slightly abusive rejoinders.

YMMV, JMHO

Manville NJ
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I understand that you would like a longer more articulate first contact, but i've Lost count of the number of times that I've sent fairly detailed and articulate first contacts that have received no reply. Pretty soon sending a simple hi or good morning message just to see if there's a response before you take the time to send a longer and more interesting communication simply makes more sense. In the end I don't think I get any less responses then I would with longer first contacts.

San Marcos CA
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you're welcome!

OT. oh. em. gee.

first e mail from SM. younger than my age range. two--that's all!--two lines of profile. no photos. smoker. joined very recently.

subject: Hey

body of message:Hey

(**delete**)

Manville NJ
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Message well received. Thank you!

Abilene TX
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TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails