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FORUMS Successful Swinging First Contact And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
Created by: columbiacouple27
Original Starting post for this thread:
Got an email from a couple recently that quite frankly hadn't really read our profile and were clearly not what we are looking for. We sent them a pretty standard reply basically saying thanks for the email but we're not interested. Got a nastygram back from them basically telling us what losers we are and how after looking at our profile again they're not really interested in us either. We try to reply to every email we get, but this kind of thing is SUCH a turn off that I really can understand why people take the position that no response is really it's own form of response.

C&C

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thanks BT, i knew somehow you'd pick up on that.

nice to...disturb the...force.

;)

Manville NJ
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It's that Virtue of Selfishness meets War and Peace that gets me in trouble.

Greg, I'm traveling this week and have been sending a few intro emails with very few responses, even of the canned variety. One thing I have noticed is that in this area, many folks have free accounts; Well developed with photos, etc, but still free. So, they're limited to 5 emails a day and I'd bet money they won't waste those on regrets. No matter how strictly they adhere to the teachings of Emily Post, The Swingers Version.

Check out some of the other threads here around SM success and heed the advice given by both couples and singles...and be patient.

Good luck,

BT

NJ...ad infinitum?...You've caused a rather nice disturbance in the force with that one ;-)

New Orleans LA
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@ greg: welcome (back) to the forums.

something more substantive than "hey" but less than "atlas shrugged" is a good middle ground.

"hello" and one line e mails, per the text in my profile: automatic deletes.

if a person reaching out can't have the respect to try to at least string together a decent introduction, i am not interested in finding out in what other ways they will show a lack of respect for me/my preferences. period.

and as has been discussed ad infinitum, a no response is in itself a response. it may not be polite, but it is a response. when someone takes the time to put together a halfway decent introduction, if i am not interested, i respond with thank you but sorry type note.

there are many reasons many folks don't do that, starting with the "but why" and (my least favorite) slightly abusive rejoinders.

YMMV, JMHO

Manville NJ
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I understand that you would like a longer more articulate first contact, but i've Lost count of the number of times that I've sent fairly detailed and articulate first contacts that have received no reply. Pretty soon sending a simple hi or good morning message just to see if there's a response before you take the time to send a longer and more interesting communication simply makes more sense. In the end I don't think I get any less responses then I would with longer first contacts.

San Marcos CA
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you're welcome!

OT. oh. em. gee.

first e mail from SM. younger than my age range. two--that's all!--two lines of profile. no photos. smoker. joined very recently.

subject: Hey

body of message:Hey

(**delete**)

Manville NJ
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Message well received. Thank you!

Abilene TX
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abtx: welcome to the forums!

you will receive more feedback in the "better profiles" section so might want to post there.

more pics .= always a good thing when done "right"

might want to remove repetetive language (referring to drama multiple times, for example) and focus more on positivity/what you *are* seeking rather than what you're "not" interested in/looking for. i "get" what you're saying in your profile unfortunately it comes off overall a bit negative rather than flirty and seeking.

YMMV, JMHO.

again, welcome--and good luck!

Manville NJ
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New Member here. First Post and we'd like it to be constructive. How about an option to mandate a quiz of sorts that members initiating contact but first complete? It would take additional work by the members by all, but could be a useful tool.

In the spirit of being constructive, feel free to review and politely criticize our profile. I get the impression it's easy to come off as jerks and we don't want that. However, we don't want to be dishonest either. If pictures are a suggestion, we know. We're getting to that. Just waiting till the mood strikes us so it'll be fun and That will make it more enjoyable for other members.

Bye for now!

Abilene TX
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first contact from a couple, obviously did not read my profile--or, if they did, ignored what i said.

"hi we are interested in seeing if you are available to play on saturday night."

gee.

i sent the standard thank you sorry not interested.

Manville NJ
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new e mail from free members/over 7 months, zero photos. not a lot of text in the profile, seem nice enough but...new.

"we like your profile. let us know what you think."

enticing.

Manville NJ
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TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails