115
And THIS is why people don't respond to emails : Swingers Discussion 143816
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSSuccessful SwingingFirst ContactAnd THIS is why people don't respond to emails
TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
Created by: columbiacouple27
Original Starting post for this thread:
Got an email from a couple recently that quite frankly hadn't really read our profile and were clearly not what we are looking for. We sent them a pretty standard reply basically saying thanks for the email but we're not interested. Got a nastygram back from them basically telling us what losers we are and how after looking at our profile again they're not really interested in us either. We try to reply to every email we get, but this kind of thing is SUCH a turn off that I really can understand why people take the position that no response is really it's own form of response.

C&C

GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... More 
 1 to 10 of 70   End
User Details are only visible to members.
I love the "no drama" mantra trotted out on a profile that strangely takes a day off when someone doesn't respond to an email in what is deemed an appropriate time frame.

Life happens, shit happens, sometimes we don't respond to emails until we've both perved the sender(s), sometimes we don't want to lose track of someone that isn't within our immediate neighborhood (which is most people sadly), there can be a million reasons, they don't have to be considered nefarious.

Keep it light, have fun, this shit shouldn't ruin your day or be cause for thinking of ways to get back... That is anything BUT drama free.

Corvallis OR
Username hidden
(582 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
discovery zones, welcome to the forums!

good post. this topic has been debated a whole lot. i usually like to send a reply to nearly everyone.

but, there are exceptions. the SM's and (also!) the couples who send a one line, not even full sentence message: something along the lines of hey wanna get down now? those usually come from people who don't fit my preferences and who, if they'd bothered to read my profile, would've known: smokers. obviously not HWP. male bi or bi curious. etc.

these days, those kinds of messages just get deleted.

sad to say that some of the folks i have put together a thanks but no thanks message to--reply back negatively. the folks who reply back with a thanks for your reply--i take note of their courtesy in case i am ever inclined to look them up again.

Manville NJ
Username hidden
(1505 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Well like most of life there would seem to be shades of grey to this question in our opinion. Below we have written some tiers of such circumstances.

If you send or receive an email of interest/ introduction to/from someone(s) who clearly did not read a profile for requirements and standards, well, a reply should not be expected! A reply should not be expected even if the profile was read and a thoughtful and well written counterpoint is presented for consideration.

(Ex. Think of individuals that accost you with religious information or materials you have expressed no interest.)

If you post (solicit) a hotdate or party and the response(s) meets stated criteria then a reply should be sent.

(Ex. You have advertised your home for sale and a qualified, pre-approved genuinely interested party shows up at your open house. They deserve your attention and some basic consideration.)

If your dealing with a person(s) who solicit your attention and you engage them with your time and are treated rudely or with less than the consideration you have given to them. These would include misrepresentation of age , physical condition, relationship status and behaviors such as excessive drinking not showing up for the date if the even match the physical appearance they have presented. When these failing occur, well, its understandable if your response or reaction is a little short or snippy! There is an unspoken degree of ethics to adhere to of basic civility and mutual consideration to actually match the opportunity and a genuine interest to meet which for some couples involves schedule considerations, monetary expense of child care and time away from family activities.

(Ex. Your hold up your end of an agreement and either are dealing with a party who tries to renegotiate terms or cannot execute the details or the contrac you have defined.)

Its really just requires some common sense!

Edison NJ
Username hidden
(1 post)
User Details are only visible to members.
Wow, the swinging gods must be smiling upon us.

We no sooner post concerning the total lack of manners and rude behavior that is pervasive on sls when we see a gratuitously insulting missive from AndrewRobin, someone who we have never met, never emailed with and never had the misfortune to post in a thread with before.

Talk about proving our case. The prosecution rests your honor.

Stamford CT
Username hidden
(50 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
jandact,

Jesus fuckin christ, pull the stick out of your ass. I thought I was bad.

Hilliard OH
Username hidden
(391 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Boy did hit the nail on the head. I have been around for a while and it never changes , 20 percent real and 80 percent rude or bs. Bob

Matlacha FL
Username hidden
(1 post)
User Details are only visible to members.
In our experience people here on SLS are the rudest we have encountered anywhere on the 'net. Other than crude emails we answer everyone and do not recall getting any nastygrams in response to our declinations. In fact we get more than a few replies from people we have declined thanking us for responding because as they put it 'so very few bother.'

We would guesstimate that of the emails we send we get responses from perhaps 5-10% and if you look at the pics we have posted and our hwp stats we are not unattractive, perhaps not everyone's cut of tea but not fugly by any means and since we try to say something in our message that shows we have read their profile it is galling not to get even the canned standard 'thanks but no thanks' reply.

As an aside there is also a special place in swinger hell for those who do not even open the message but just look at it in the preview pane and, of course, mostly never bother to reply. Those people are not only rude but their lack of consideration also requires us to look through our 'sent' folder, see that the message we sent is still unread and then click on their profile to see if they have been on since it was sent. In some cases more than once.

Life would be much simpler with a response. We could read the response, if negative click on their profile to close pics and make a note and move on. Nope, the inconsiderate do not give a shit that they make things harder for other with their self centered attitudes.

Finally, every so often karma smiles on us and gives us a 'goes around moment' when we run into a couple who ignored our email and they express interest. Since we have pretty good memories we do not hesitate to point out that we had emailed before and they had not replied. The silence that follows is delightful as they twist looking for something to say to explain their lack of courtesy. Of course, we always decline their new found interest because we value courtesy in our friends and play partners.

Stamford CT
Username hidden
(50 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Personally, I was raised that it is rude not to reply to someone who speaks to you. I fully understand if the person was crude, ie. I wanna fuck that ass, or in some sense did not read your profile and was WAY off base with what you are looking for. But I am talking about the polite, articulate queries that are sent, in an attempt to make a contact. We always explain our likes and desires, outside the LS, and if we contact a single woman, ask HER to choose the place of meeting, understanding the desire and need to be careful. But to be brutally honest, far toomany are just rude, and figure you will get that no response, is a NO response. But if someone takes the time to write a decently worded and polite note, then the same should be sent back to them, whether to accept or decline. At least that is how we view this. We give and expect dignity and respect. If you can't show that via email, then we wouldn't have been a good match anyway, I guess. Come on, guys, just TRY to find the time for a quick, polite reply.

Vandergrift PA
Username hidden
(7 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
If you don't hear from the person just move on. Don't let it get to you. You also need toremember that people have other things going on in life besides swinging.

Wallingford CT
Username hidden
(8 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I know I have got cursed at for showing interest in an older couple before. It's one of those things. Some people, yes even in this lifestyle, are just assholes through and through. They can't help but attempt to degrade and belittle just about everyone they talk to. It's doesn't mean you should stop responding or give up all hope. It's just means you have to cry a little on the inside and have some amazing sex with the good couples you meet. Atlest, that's how we handle it.

Herrin IL
Username hidden
(9 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... More 
 1 to 10 of 70   End
TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails