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And THIS is why people don't respond to emails : Swingers Discussion 1438161011
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TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
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In our experience people here on SLS are the rudest we have encountered anywhere on the 'net. Other than crude emails we answer everyone and do not recall getting any nastygrams in response to our declinations. In fact we get more than a few replies from people we have declined thanking us for responding because as they put it 'so very few bother.'

We would guesstimate that of the emails we send we get responses from perhaps 5-10% and if you look at the pics we have posted and our hwp stats we are not unattractive, perhaps not everyone's cut of tea but not fugly by any means and since we try to say something in our message that shows we have read their profile it is galling not to get even the canned standard 'thanks but no thanks' reply.

As an aside there is also a special place in swinger hell for those who do not even open the message but just look at it in the preview pane and, of course, mostly never bother to reply. Those people are not only rude but their lack of consideration also requires us to look through our 'sent' folder, see that the message we sent is still unread and then click on their profile to see if they have been on since it was sent. In some cases more than once.

Life would be much simpler with a response. We could read the response, if negative click on their profile to close pics and make a note and move on. Nope, the inconsiderate do not give a shit that they make things harder for other with their self centered attitudes.

Finally, every so often karma smiles on us and gives us a 'goes around moment' when we run into a couple who ignored our email and they express interest. Since we have pretty good memories we do not hesitate to point out that we had emailed before and they had not replied. The silence that follows is delightful as they twist looking for something to say to explain their lack of courtesy. Of course, we always decline their new found interest because we value courtesy in our friends and play partners.

Stamford CT
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Personally, I was raised that it is rude not to reply to someone who speaks to you. I fully understand if the person was crude, ie. I wanna fuck that ass, or in some sense did not read your profile and was WAY off base with what you are looking for. But I am talking about the polite, articulate queries that are sent, in an attempt to make a contact. We always explain our likes and desires, outside the LS, and if we contact a single woman, ask HER to choose the place of meeting, understanding the desire and need to be careful. But to be brutally honest, far toomany are just rude, and figure you will get that no response, is a NO response. But if someone takes the time to write a decently worded and polite note, then the same should be sent back to them, whether to accept or decline. At least that is how we view this. We give and expect dignity and respect. If you can't show that via email, then we wouldn't have been a good match anyway, I guess. Come on, guys, just TRY to find the time for a quick, polite reply.

Vandergrift PA
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If you don't hear from the person just move on. Don't let it get to you. You also need toremember that people have other things going on in life besides swinging.

Wallingford CT
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I know I have got cursed at for showing interest in an older couple before. It's one of those things. Some people, yes even in this lifestyle, are just assholes through and through. They can't help but attempt to degrade and belittle just about everyone they talk to. It's doesn't mean you should stop responding or give up all hope. It's just means you have to cry a little on the inside and have some amazing sex with the good couples you meet. Atlest, that's how we handle it.

Herrin IL
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Hi, I'm new to this site, not new to the lifestyle, and realize that I'm behind the eight ball before I even began here, as a "single male"-(hey, can't help it that I'm single now- I divorced over this lifestyle!). I wrote my profile, had other friends in the LS check it (both couples & single females) & followed their suggestions. So far, I've received two responses- to which I replied, never heard back from either. I also sent approximately twenty eight interest messages out....some never read, but the majority were read,& never replied back. Ok, figured I'm really doing something wrong here-never had this problem before. Had the folks who'd helped me initially, look at everything. All nine people felt everything- profile, pics, replies, messages of interest, - were absolutely appropriate, courteous, polite, well written, & not offensive. These were all local people I'd written to after reading their profiles carefully. At this point I've just decided not to participate any further on SLS. Unbelievably rude, insensitive, people. I never ignored a message on my other sites- ALWAYS gave a response in a polite manner... A very disappointed single guy who wanted to make friends.

Haddon Twp NJ
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I think it is too Much hype put on this profile business, bottom line is everyone is here for the same thing at the end of the day, just in a different way, and with rules.

If you get lots of emails in a day, and it is not what the doctor order, then , may be the profile is given the wrong message, and maybe you could send out a auto response. Nevertheless, rude is uneceptable, and disrespectful. If it is not what I wanted, kindly tell them, your great but were looking for ??. Because remember no one is perfect and you do have some crazies around, if they get rud then you move on. Kindness will kill the them.

Baldwin NY
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It is rude to some extent to not reply, but you also have to understand that if you send a message with something so generic as "hey sexy I wanna hit that" or similar, thats just a very unattractive way of starting up a comversation. Also if a single man sends a message to a couple with out reading their profile which clearly states no single men, do you really ecpect a reply? i know the day I signed up here I got 300 messages within the time I was at work. It is not easy to respond to300 messages in a timely manner. Just my take on it all.

Sarasota FL
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If we sent an email to a couple who had the following.

NO BI MEN WE ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN BLACK SINGLE BBW WOMEN.

As a white couple with a bi man and a non BBW woman.........Wouldnt we be the dumb asses?

Are they really jerks if they dont respond to us?

Mount Juliet TN
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I think when this topic comes up we argue 2 different points.

The majority of our emails come from people who are not even remotely close to what we are looking for. Well outside our age range, way too far away, or straight. And they include nothing that we ask for such as pics or more than one line.

So those, we personally think when it comes to being rude "they started it"

I think the other point being argued is people who do email, and are generally looking for the same thing, but there is a lack of personal interest on the part of the receiver.

Such as if we had another couple who was bi, around our age, and local who sent us a nice email with pics.

They are a "match". But for whatever reason, we arent attracted to them lets say.

Then YES YES YES I agree it would be rude for us not to respond to them.

When someone takes the time to read your profile, write you a personal email, include what you ask for.....They do deserve the courtesy of a response good or bad.

Mount Juliet TN
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There is no excuse for not responding or being nasty, a simple how are you or some tasteful and respectful response is good enought, because the same way people want there profile read is the same thought you should take in giving someone a response back.

Baldwin NY
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TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails