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And THIS is why people don't respond to emails : Swingers Discussion 143816101
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TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails
Created by: columbiacouple27
Original Starting post for this thread:
Got an email from a couple recently that quite frankly hadn't really read our profile and were clearly not what we are looking for. We sent them a pretty standard reply basically saying thanks for the email but we're not interested. Got a nastygram back from them basically telling us what losers we are and how after looking at our profile again they're not really interested in us either. We try to reply to every email we get, but this kind of thing is SUCH a turn off that I really can understand why people take the position that no response is really it's own form of response.

C&C

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single guy, been trying to coordinate coffee meet. keeps demanding i call or text.

finally this morning i said well let's just call it a day then and best of luck in your search.

~rolling eyes~ dude, bad vibe out of the gate? delete.

Manville NJ
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Out of the 3 dozen or so emails we have sent out to couples less than half sent replies and even less of those replies led to something more one reply said sorry we dont like smoker but their profile said other wise even with the lack of sucess on this site we just keep trying. Cause thats all you can really do

Akron OH
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I would like to add this. As a SM it is a grueling process emailing people. I understand wanting a reply of some sort. Good, bad or indifferent. I have sent more emails that I can count. I admit, I am new to the lifestyle and I have more than a lot to learn. But taking the time to read what people are looking for, responding with a clear and concise email and waiting for a reply is just the nature of this. I am a real person looking for real people to interact with. Real people have lives that don't revolve around the lifestyle but ENHANCES their life. With that said, they are busy living life and don't always have time to respond as soon as I would like. But the same goes for me. I have a life to live that has ups and downs. I try not to be rude in any fashion or form. Based off of what I have read here, I should have received many "No Thank You" messages by now. I try to keep in mind that free members are limited to emails. But it is still a bit disheartening.

Adrian MI
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new contact, couple: guy is listed bi, and as a smoker; no photos on profile, member for multiple years:

"hi my name is /////, i was looking for someone to play with tonight. xxx-xxx-xxxx. call me if interested."

wow! let me jump right on that!

*delete*

Manville NJ
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first contact from a SM this morning.

he's 21. sum total of the message:"Heyy"

**delete**

Manville NJ
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For all of the stories that I've heard, about how people respond, in a nasty way, after their their advances have been rebuked, seems like a good indicator of behaviour that the solicitor no longer feels a need to hide. This dates back years.

I can understand, why some people have given up, considering the lack of common courtesy, that sometimes comes with on-line interactions. The main thing is, you can’t take ownership of it.

As SLOdoublet mentioned, if not responding to you, in a timeframe that you have arbitrarily deemed courteous, sets you off, then perhaps we shouldn't have met, to begin with. Life happens, man.

If they've read your profile and have respected your boundaries, then, when time permits, they deserve, at least, a quick, "Thanks but no thanks."

If they didn't read your profile and presented themselves, anyway, then they have chosen not to respect your boundaries. If you reply, despite this, then you are being terribly courteous. The internet is not an excuse for impoliteness. You wouldn’t go to a wedding and hit on the bride. I always reply, by the way. I prefer to err on the side of courteousness.

If they respond negatively, after that, then clearly, you've made Indie proud because you've chosen wisely.

If you’re going to get upset because you’re not happy with how other people feel, then that’s on you and my day is no worse off. If you offered me a gift and I refused it, then that gift would still be yours. If you call me names and I don’t accept them, then those are yours, also. I’m going to laugh and carry on with my day.

If it wasn’t so bizarre, to play with people, like that, it could be considered a vetting process - You seem normal. Let’s see what happens, after waiting four days.

My two cents worth, anyway...

Montreal Canada
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I love the "no drama" mantra trotted out on a profile that strangely takes a day off when someone doesn't respond to an email in what is deemed an appropriate time frame.

Life happens, shit happens, sometimes we don't respond to emails until we've both perved the sender(s), sometimes we don't want to lose track of someone that isn't within our immediate neighborhood (which is most people sadly), there can be a million reasons, they don't have to be considered nefarious.

Keep it light, have fun, this shit shouldn't ruin your day or be cause for thinking of ways to get back... That is anything BUT drama free.

Corvallis OR
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discovery zones, welcome to the forums!

good post. this topic has been debated a whole lot. i usually like to send a reply to nearly everyone.

but, there are exceptions. the SM's and (also!) the couples who send a one line, not even full sentence message: something along the lines of hey wanna get down now? those usually come from people who don't fit my preferences and who, if they'd bothered to read my profile, would've known: smokers. obviously not HWP. male bi or bi curious. etc.

these days, those kinds of messages just get deleted.

sad to say that some of the folks i have put together a thanks but no thanks message to--reply back negatively. the folks who reply back with a thanks for your reply--i take note of their courtesy in case i am ever inclined to look them up again.

Manville NJ
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Well like most of life there would seem to be shades of grey to this question in our opinion. Below we have written some tiers of such circumstances.

If you send or receive an email of interest/ introduction to/from someone(s) who clearly did not read a profile for requirements and standards, well, a reply should not be expected! A reply should not be expected even if the profile was read and a thoughtful and well written counterpoint is presented for consideration.

(Ex. Think of individuals that accost you with religious information or materials you have expressed no interest.)

If you post (solicit) a hotdate or party and the response(s) meets stated criteria then a reply should be sent.

(Ex. You have advertised your home for sale and a qualified, pre-approved genuinely interested party shows up at your open house. They deserve your attention and some basic consideration.)

If your dealing with a person(s) who solicit your attention and you engage them with your time and are treated rudely or with less than the consideration you have given to them. These would include misrepresentation of age , physical condition, relationship status and behaviors such as excessive drinking not showing up for the date if the even match the physical appearance they have presented. When these failing occur, well, its understandable if your response or reaction is a little short or snippy! There is an unspoken degree of ethics to adhere to of basic civility and mutual consideration to actually match the opportunity and a genuine interest to meet which for some couples involves schedule considerations, monetary expense of child care and time away from family activities.

(Ex. Your hold up your end of an agreement and either are dealing with a party who tries to renegotiate terms or cannot execute the details or the contrac you have defined.)

Its really just requires some common sense!

Edison NJ
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Wow, the swinging gods must be smiling upon us.

We no sooner post concerning the total lack of manners and rude behavior that is pervasive on sls when we see a gratuitously insulting missive from AndrewRobin, someone who we have never met, never emailed with and never had the misfortune to post in a thread with before.

Talk about proving our case. The prosecution rests your honor.

Stamford CT
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TOPIC: And THIS is why people don't respond to emails